100 things about moi....

I've been saving this one for a 'rainy day'...lots of things going about right now..trying to work em' out...I'll post about it..later on..

101 things about me...

1. My name was a typo.
2. My family and close friends call me “yari” pronounced Jar-e (long e)
3. I was born and raised in New Jersey.
4. I love cats
5. My cat was poisoned..I mourned it and buried it.
6. I sent bad wishes to the person who killed her.
7. I only have one brother.
8. I stabbed him once in his hand with a fork cuz he chews his food too loud.
9. I have 24 aunts and uncles from my mom’s side and 14 from my father’s (people in Puerto Rico didn’t have tv’s back then)
10. I am very ill-tempered (hence the fork stabbing incident)
11. I have never physically fought with someone, except my brother.
12. We (my brother and I) both cried when I moved out…cuz we would actually miss each other.
13. I moved to the upstairs house, and now we fight as usual.
14. I have a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology…that I have used with my daughter.
15. I want to do a Master’s in Psychology with a specialty in Autism.
16. I used to go to clubs a lot.
17. I used to get in free and drink for free too.
18. I used to be an ‘artist’ (music wise)
19. Mary has been my best friend since I was 12, we’d go clubbing together.
20. She is still my best friend.
21. We’d go out in my old car Priscilla.
22. Now I drive a Toyota Sienna ::shiver::A mini van: it’s name is Grasshopper
23. I love Jim Benton’s Happy Bunny. I have a sticker on my van.
24. When I pick up my phone I usually answer “que es la que?” “What’s happening?” or “hey”.
25. I am afraid of hospitals
26. I’ve only been in one, once, when I gave birth.
27. Well actually twice, I almost lost my pinky in a freak accident when I was 2.
28. I have never broken a bone.
30. I never learned to ride a bike.
31. Or skate.
32. My parents never let me play outside.
33. So I learned to love Barbie Dolls.
34. I have a small Barbie doll Collection.
35. I would have more Barbie’s but I keep spending my money on shoes.
36. I had at one point at least 50 pairs of shoes.
37. My dream shopping experience: NYC, Neiman Marcus, buying some Manolo Blahnik shoes.
38. I am a clean / neat freak.
39. I used to be medicated because of my obsessive/compulsive disorder
40. I was voted most versatile in Junior High.
41. I was on the debate team, art team, chorus, and safety patrol.
42. I was also voted Most Temperamental.
43. I got suspended once in 7th grade, because I had “a big mouth”.
44. My parents didn’t care much, cuz I was a straight A student.
45. I moved to Puerto Rico when I was 15.
46. I cried on my first day of school here.
47. In High school I dated the cutest, most popular guy.
48. We broke up before our senior year.
49. He tried to get back with me, I happily declined.
50. I got accepted into the ‘top notch’ college here in Puerto Rico.
51. I went there my first year, and had to leave, because of the distance.
52. I had no car back then; I got my first car at 20. (Priscilla)
53. In college I maintained my ‘rebel nerd’ status: got kicked out of a class for wearing camouflage gear, and graduated “Magna Cum Laude”.
54. I am the first person in my immediate family to graduate from college.
55. If I could describe myself as any character it would be “Dory” from “Finding Nemo”.
56. I love watching “Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends”
57. I am in love with Michael Chiklis
58. The only shows I watch religiously are “The Shield” and “Wild n Out”
59. I love stand up comedy…especially Ellen Degeneres.
60. I do not eat vegetables.
61. Or fruits for that matter, unless they are apples
62. I wanted to dress up as Spiderman as a little girl
63. My mom introduced me to Strawberry shortcake instead.
64. I was a tomboy much of my teen years.
65. Now I own more shoes, purses and skirts then I care to admit.
66. As a child, they used to call me “Punky Brewster” (this is part of the don’t ask don’t tell policy).
67. I do not smoke.
68. I do not drink, hardly, anymore.
69. My prized material possession: My Gap Jean Jacket
70. My prized possession point blank: My daughter.
71. I am in an Autism Parent Support Group.
72. I wanted to join the army when I graduated high school.
73. Sometimes I tend to curse a wee too much.
74. My boss calls me ‘Old soul’ because of my maturity.
75. My old boss and co-workers called me “3 cylinder” (because of my height)
76. I am only 5 feet tall.
77. I was addicted to Fraggle Rock, Electric Company and Sesame Street as a child.
78. I also loved to watch “The Price is Right” as a toddler.
79. I am fully bilingual thanks to my parents who don’t speak English and Bob Barker.
80. I hate malls and shopping (oddly enough), I do what I call ‘power shopping’: very brisk and very fast.
81. I usually shop for shoes at one store only. The employee knows me already.
82. I’ve been married once, and married life is not for moi.
83. I am the Puerto Rican version of Martha Stewart.
84. My favorite Holiday is Halloween.
85. I always dress up for it. Last year it was as Tinkerbell.
86. She is my favorite Disney character along with Eeyore.
87. I have three tattoos and counting, one of Tinkerbell.
88. I have a small nose piercing.
89. I prefer my hair very short.
90. I am low maintenance; I get ready in like 20 minutes.
91. I used to have paranormal things happen to me.
92. My room was “cleansed” once due to this.
93. I wanted to be a witch afterwards.
94. I couldn’t spell Tylenol when I was three so I scratched the idea of being a Pediatrician.
95. I always have nightmares of the end of the world.
96. I am scared of Michael Meyers.
97. I am an Aries.
98. I cried when my daughter said “momma” for the first time.
99. I love all things: Asian, ancient, artsy.
100. I talk to myself a lot, usually acting out things I ‘should have’ said during the course of the day or ‘fantasy’ situations.
101. I auto describe myself as : Eclectic

The world of music never ceases to amaze me ...and the talent that sprouts out of the new generation artists of the world....never shock me...but last night...oh..last night...topped the cake...

I was driving home from work..and was channel flipping...(I usually listen to a cd..but I haven't bought any recently and the 200 cd's i have in my briefcase weren't interesting enough..lol...) and i had to stop at this one radio station..cuz i thought i heard something..and was like : naaaaahhh!! it can't be....but ho ho ho..and hey hey hey...sure enough my hearing was right on point( commentary is in bold):

...."i'm in love with a stripper....she ..blah blah blah(dont remember lyrics in this part...ears were bleeding)...
...she can pop it, lock it..she gives me love...she works the pole (she gives me love..!! She's a stripper for crying out loud...she can pop it , lock it...for those who don't know "pop" and"lock" are moves that breakdancers use)
...
"she is God's gift to the world" (or man..I don't remember exactly)

The song is 'sung' by this guy called T-Pain...no wonder my ears were bleeding..and he 'sings' the song..while this other dude "Mike Jones" raps in between...

Anywhoot..I shook the memory of that song from my head..cuz I did not want to cause an accident on the road...i get home...have dinner...and said "I should post about it..but hell it's just a cheesy song..nothing too interesting..." THAT'S WHEN .....GOD...ALLMIGHTY GOD, SENT ME A SIGN!!!!!!!!!!!


I sat on my bed to watch TV, and while i was flipping channels...what did I hear!!!!!!!

THE STRIPPER SONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH IT'S VIDEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW I REALLY HAD TO POST...


T-Pain..isn't called that way for nothin'....the guy literally shoots pain up ur spine...he's very hard to look at....very....
butt-ugly....lord oh lord..with big old' gold fronts in his mouth....what is it with this new 'grill' thing in ur mouth...they all wanna look like "Jaws" (the silver mouth plated villain from James Bond's "The Spy who loved me"!!!

and the Mike Jones dude isnt looking better...
So i forced myself to watch this "Ode to Pole dancing" balad...and now I cannot sleep...the images of sexy strippers on poles and his voice..T-Pain's voice...through the sinthesizer...oh my!!!

That's gonna cost me some serious sit downs with my Psych.



What does a girl gotta do around here to get her freaking mail delivered properly??!! Jeez...

It seems our postal carrier is under the influence of drugs, either that or his driving with a right sided steering wheel has got to him...

For the past few weeks he has been delivering my mail to all the neighbors around..he can't seem to target my mail box appropiately...

Now the latest, I ordered at the end of January a swim suit from V.Secrets...(on sale of course...)and it's been sent and resent and returned like 5 times....V.S.'s people tell me the postal service labeled my package as undeliverable because no such address existed! WTF??? I have lived here for 10 years..and my address doesnt exist!! How the hell does this happen...?? Does that mean I live in a black hole??? what kind of shitty mail carrier do i have??
So I call the postal office...and they tell me that street now carries a "W" for "west" in it...
Since when???..........
Postal carrier pissy voice wasnt amused by my shock...and informs me that half of my package was returned due to this...and that the other half was delivered to me on Saturday at 10am...
How funny I replied....since I was not home Saturday due to therapy and I don't have the second portion of my package....She argued that i received the package...I'm like lady....I'm getting charged for something i did not receive...She tell moi, that, that is not her problem, that my carrier delievered...

Yeah biach.!! to the wrong freaking address....
Now only God know's what senior citizen neighbor is hanging about sporting a Floral Blue Tankini Top, courtesy of moi.....::shivers::

She tells me to call back tomorrow to speak to the postal carrier....
u bet ur ass I will...

Luckily the V.S. people were nice enough to redeliver again for like the 5 th time..

we'll see how that goes...

for now..imagine lil ol' miss mary, from across the street, watering her plants in a very sexy turquoise blue 2 piece....

"I reminisce for sec...let's take it back..22 years ago to keep it on track..."

By: Pete Rock and CL Smooth...

That's a part of one of my favorite songs...from the past...and since i'm gonna reminisce i thought it was appropiate...

but before i go into that...
JOB UPDATE: i still have my job...but not without giving my boss a piece of my mind...we'll see how it goes on tuesday...
******************************
Anywhoot..back to the matter at hand...
This weekend, President's weekend..was the most civilized weekend..and past flashback weekend i've had in a loooong time...

Friday: Miss C's dad came back from his trip..picked her up at school...took "us" (yeah us) to go eat and to Chucky Cheese...::gasp:: Yes, I was civilized..no we did not fight....

Saturday: A good friend from the states, who I grew up with is in Puerto Rico, she is visiting her parents, because she is about to give birth to her 3rd child (she is 26 with 3 kids....lord!)..and it is going to be her first girl!!!..well anyway..she dropped by an invite to her baby shower...it was kinda of far away..and i wasnt gonna go...but.... my mom kept nagging me to go, cuz she wanted to go...my parents and my friends parents were really close..we lived next door to each other back in Jersey...

So..as I was saying...I decided to go cuz:

My ex..offered to go along..to help me with Miss C...and invited me to a 80's themed party later on that night...I usually dont go out to anything that is related to my past..but I needed to get out of the house...

So i figured..if i'd go to the babyshower..my mom would be happy..and later gladly babysit Miss C...

Let's make a small parentesis here:

Before getting there we stopped to buy a gift..and I saw: The Audrey Hepburn Movie Collection, which included "Roman Holiday"..............!!!! So i took it and my ex made fun of me all the way to the shower because of it....(these are the moments i understand why i filed for a D)...

Allright Close Parentesis...

So we got there..I saw my girl!! She is sooo huge..and happy and as always nice, she still manages to be the same lovely girl i became close friends with...we talked about how we used to hang out on the corner store and buy 25 Cent icecreams and French Fries at the Chinese Place...we laughed and had a marvelous time...in between stories..my ex thought it was a good idea to feed me liquor...I dont usually drink..but i was ::gasp:: happy..so i had half a bottle of wine....::sigh::

Anyway..we drove back...put Miss C to bed...got dressed and headed out for this 80's party..it was an album release party for a friend of ours..and NO ONE knew i was going...

After managing the huge hill and unsteady streets with my stilletos (hey..i had to look fab!!)..we got to the spot...i admit..i was nervous..the last time i've seen this crowd was 3 years ago, before Miss C....but it was great!!!

As soon as i got there everyone was yelling and hugging and kissing and gasping their mouths wide open: Oh my God!!! u!!!!! where have u been???..blah blah...
Even the owner of the club was like:

"who the hell is sheeeeeee???"...hahaha....but the best part of the night were....

Seeing my favorite student there..(I used to be a volunteer teacher at an Arts Center)...and it was so weird seeing him..I felt soooo old...

And as i was walking in, the wife of one of my best buddy's was there...she did not know, like anyone else, that i was coming...and when we saw each other it was like a zillion words, squeals and giggles in like 50 seconds:

"OMFG!!!! OMG!!!! Your hair!!!u have no hair!!! I like !!" she said

and I'm like "YOOOOOOOO, OMFG.............How r u??? what r u doing?".....

We hung out all night..drank a bit too much...sang, danced and made fun of every hoochie mama that was in the spot..

**Hoochie mama-another term for skank..or cladly dressed woman**

End of story:
I ended up with swollen, aching feet...a sore throat and a mass headache....but it was all worth reminiscing for a while...and oddly enough I thank my ex for a really nice night out...

The cowardly lion....

I am mad...
Scratch that...
I am pissed off...very pissed off..
so pissed that if i were to be cut..i would not bleed...

I am about to have a smackdown with my boss....

let's give a recap:
I have been at my job for 5 years...5 fuckin' years..(sorry..i am mad)...
My boss is nuts...really crazy..
but i learned to work the kinks out..
but now and then she just drives me off a wall...
like today..

She knows i am supposed to get paid on thursdays..and what does she do? she leaves for a trip..
this isnt the first time she has done this...and i have told her this before..
there have been times when i have been unable to get paid for her irresponsability..

She calls me this morning to let me know she might not be back...
WTF????
I'm like " yo, i need to get paid" (well i didnt say 'yo'..but u get the pic)
and she's like "oh but ur attendance to office has been kinda of erratic"..

now i'm really like:
WTF?????

I ask her: "and what does that have to do with my paycheck?"

**let me clarify what she means by erratic: tuesday..i did not go to work..i had asked for this day with a one month advance.....wednesday i had to leave early cuz Miss C was sick and had a nosebleed** u know nothing really important worth leaving work for....

with that..my boss tells me she will try to be in on time..and hangs up...

she then calls up the nanny on the other phone and tells her...she is going to come and sign our checks so quote: 'we don't die of hunger'........what my boss doesnt know is that the nanny is my sista'....and tell me this...

so now i'm like "die of hunger??? what the f*ck is that shit??"

Me and Miss C will never die of hunger ...!! and this bitch has no right making such a horrible comment...slavery is over lady...I work cuz i need money..not for the pure fun of it...

My office work is on target...i am efficient..i am only absent if something is up with my daughter...i've been known to come to work in a burning fever...

on my wedding day...she wanted to know if i could work half a day at the office!!!

WTF???

So i needed some feedback...called up my mom..who can be "ghetto fabulous" in 10 seconds flat...
I told her I would quit...
She told me I should think about it...
WTF?? what happened to ghetto fabulous??
I'm not taking that shit from anyone...ANYONE...if i was irresponsable, and a slacker maybe..but i am not..so my boss can kiss my booty..ya hear!?

so my mom then gives me a run down of what i have to say to her...cuz u see i am a big mouth..but i live in fear of not being able to provide for my daughter..and learned to keep quiet and keep getting a paycheck no matter how shitty she makes me feel...I feel like i need to go to OZ and get some courage...cuz i'm feeling like the cowardly lion right bout' now...

my mom also told me:
not to cry..
i tend to get the waterworks flowing when i am very upset.....i can't help it..i get furious...

so i'm gonna wait till my boss comes to give her a piece of my mind...and if things get rough..a piece of my Viga Spiga stilettos....

**Update on our health situation**
Miss C did not go to school yesterday, I took her to the doc...thank God she doesnt have any type of ear/throat infection (she gets those alot), she only has a cold...Her pediatrian was so thrilled to see her and see how well she has come along...I was glad the progress is clearly visible.

*************************
How pharmacy's drive me Apesh*t...

I went to leave her prescriptions at the pharmacy drive through....bare in mind i have a coughing, weezing, leaky nose child in the van...and drive up at 3pm...and I ask the lady at what time should i pick up her meds..she tells me:

"5:30pm"
"5:30???....I have a very sick 3 year old in this car"
She gives me the "ask me if i care" look....
"well...4:50pm"
I then give her the sarcastic:
"WOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!! u've really done me a favor" look...

Why do they take so freakin' long?? Can't they give children priority...u can't tell a 3 year old:

"look honey i know u feel like crap..but we gotta wait like 3 hours for u to start feeling better..ok pumpkin?"

and the thing is, it's a universal thing with ALL pharmacies....

and on top of all that it's not like the medicines are being given out for free...we are talking major mula here people...

*****************
anyhwhoot..after the pharmacy incidente...i am downstairs at my mom's house at the new miniature kitchen table (i do not know who's bright idea was this)...with my brother, who was having dinner and my mom...and the conversation went as follows:

"So, M, did u give ur girl her present?" I ask my brother
"Yeah, she loved it....oh by the way C. (his best friend) is in love.."
"really???" me and my mom both sarcastically say...
"yeah...he's in love with u, sis...."

I then put my best "WTF"? (what the f---) face and me and my mom both burst out laughing....

u see C..has been my brother's best friend since like the 3rd grade....i've seen them as rugrats, as horrible pre-teens, i've seen him and my brother evolve..go through their facial hair growth..voice changing pimple fases....he used to sleep over...i've seen them wanna be like Che Guevara...and i've even lectured them on how "Che" their role model was actually a friend of Fidel Castro's and not his enemy as C and my brother thought...

Don't get me wrong..C has grown up to be a very good looking young man...but dude!! he's my brother's young best friend....he's a kid...a nice kid..cuz i feel kinda of sorry for him..cuz he has a pissy woman as a mom and doesnt have a dad...i feel sorry that my mom doesnt cut him some slack...but still..i could never ever see him in any other way...

so I start blushing at the table..cuz this thing caught me off guard..and my brother goes on:

"he says ur cute, he loves the way u dresses and he is willing to support u and Miss C"

**hey u gotta give the kid kudos for saying such nice stuff, but on his fast food restaurant salary...i dont think he'd go far even if i let him**

and all i can say is :
"well mom, that just throws off ur whole theory of almost 10 years: He isn't gay"...

(my mom always said C was gay cuz he was always with my brother every day, second, minute..etc.)

My mom, on the other hand was not thrilled with this news, she even gave me the "dont even think about being interested young lady" look, like i'd even be...

so i piss her off more and add:

"Well tell C, that he's late for valentine's and that i wear a size 6 shoe" .....

V-day...

Well V-day...has come and gone with no incidents to report...well no near death ones at least.

Miss C was crowned...behaved awesomely good..and only 2...read it..2 parents went to the party...that 2 included me and the 'king of hearts' mom...(who by the way was as adorable and as handsome as Miss C)....The teacher thanked us for sharing...and we had a nice time...althought the crowing was to begin at 12 and started at 2pm..Miss C was a real sport...

Then I took her to get her haircut...since she doesnt like being brushed or combed...and recent problems with ::shiver:: lice...i keep her hair short...cutesy short...

She was really good..got her haircut..but as we were leaving she wanted to keep the crayons in the bin from the kiddie barbershop...i had to pry them away..and then all hell broke loose..she went from 'good ship lollipop' to marilyn manson's 'beautiful people' in 3 seconds flat

"CRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAYOOOOOONSSSSSSSS NOWWWWWWW!!" she wailed

....she dragged herself on the floor...i picked her up like a suitcase and managed to carry her, my purse and the stroller to the elevator..(for all u moms out there..u know what it really is to MULTITASK)...obviously everyone stared...and probably thought what a brat!! and i'm so used to this that i am unfazed...very neutral on the outside...although sometimes on the inside i wanna spank her...but anywhoot..seeing that she was so well behaved earlier on ..i managed to drag her all the way to the other end of the mall to get her some crayons...as soon as i placed them in her hands...silence came...and eventually she fell asleep in the stroller and slept all the way home...

**On another note...me and cherry are sick..we have severe colds...but even when she went to sleep at 9pm, i lay besides her till 11pm for my Valentine's date with "The Shield" and Michael Chiklis**

Bare with me folks..cuz i keep tinkering with the page..adding on stuff and taking out stuff..

Temper Temper...

U know..I thought i had a bad temper...ooooohhh no sir ree bob...i met my match this morning during traffic...

I was driving out of Miss C's school which is unconvieniently located near a major street used in the mornings by zillions of drivers...and this car in front of me decides out of the blue!! to turn left...WITHOUT using the BlINKER..!! why do u purchase brand new cars if some parts , like the blinker..u are not going to use...so..anywhoot...i try to brake in time..but my mini-van slightly...i meaaaan reaaaallly slightly..kissy kissy like...touched the other car's rear bumper...I waited to see if the driver was gonna get out and check...and this old man...about 70 something gets out..pissed as hell!!! and I'm like Whoa nelly!!! he starts rambling on..and yelling...and clearly there is no damage..even the guy selling newspapers shook his head in disgust...lil' old man, clearly put his dentures on too tight...(these are the adverse side effects of Fix-0-dent)..anywhoot...seeing that he was being an ass...i yelled at him as he was getting in this car:

"Good morning to u too sir!!!
And then they say that young people have lost their manners!!!"

At this moment the newspaper guy was having a ball....
and lil old fix a dent was still waving his hands as he drove off...

but u know the sad part???

I just viewed myself in 60 years from now....

Before i get into the subject at hand...
let me just give a Heeeeell Yeah...because although Miss Mariah Carey won a few awards...they were beforehand..and she didnt get to go upstage to speak...
and out of all the boring ass performances...Madonna rocked!! I want her bod..!!

**********************

I went to take Miss C to school yesterday..and surprise surprise.!! there was a message on the bulletin board:

Valentine's Day Party: Feb. 14
King and Queen of Hearts:..............MISS C..

yes..she is going to be the queen of hearts in her class...I was so thrilled..but I must confess she is the queen cuz...she is the only girl in her class, since she is in a special autistic classroom..there are 5 boys and Miss C is the only Miss ....if she wasnt the queen..I'd worry....

so yesterday afternoon was spent looking for an outfit for her..since she is going to be crowned in front of the school and they will place a beauty pageant thingy around her..(u know the thingy that the queens wear saying they won..)...

Miss C will kill me when she gets older..cuz her mom has a quirky sense of fashion..being that due to her condition..and her sensory problems..she can't wear anything too fancy..no glitter, sparkley stuff..nothing that itches..preferably something in cotton...so i got her this velvet red mini skirt..with a white tank top with strawberries on it..and some kick ass tights..that are candy canedstriped...

WHAT??? dont make that face...she is going to look adorable...

Here's the catch..
yes there is a catch...
she has to wear a 'crown'..well actually it's a tiara...i'm loaning the one we tried to make her wear when i dressed her up as Cinderella for her 2nd b-day...yes...a mother of an autistic child with sensory problems made her wear a ridiculous puffy, hot, uncomfortable dress and tiara for her 2 b-day..sue me.

My mom asked me how they were gonna get her to wear the crown....
My answer:
"That aint' my problem, they're gonna have to staple it on"..

My mom's answer:
"staple?? r u serious?"

My mom and dad are country folk...they dont understand when i joke..like i'm really gonna let them staple it on......................................hmmmm.....come to think of it......
nevermind...

I can see the scenario now:
everyone applauding...and oooing and aaaahing...cuz Miss C is soo adorable..and then just when they place the crown on her head...she'll turn and bite the finger off her teacher...and kidnap a fellow toddler and demand that the crown be taken off...and I can imagine my mom watching her soap opera..only to be interrupted by a live broadcast of the whole thing...and i can see the headlines now: The Queen of Hearts on Toddler's most wanted...

Now that's my daughter!!
We'll see how that goes about..

Grammys Tonight...

I am musique freak.....yes "musique"...

I couldnt not possibly live without a radio..
take the tv..who cares..
wait..i'll take that back...i'll need the tv to watch the informercials on Yoga Booty Ballet and ...The Shield on tuesdays ( I am in love with Michael Chiklis)...

anywhoot..tonight are the grammy's and personally i am not thrilled...Mariah Carey is nominated like 8 times..i never liked her..and after Glitter...(dont ask me why i watched if i did not like her)...i'm afraid she might win...

Gwen Stefani is nominated..I'm rootin' for her..even though her song contains a verse about how the "sh*t is Bananas, B-a-n-a-n-a-s!!" (yes she spells it out)..
we'll see how that goes..
u'll read my ramblings about this tomorrow..

*********
this evening's pet peeve: The Wiggles...
If I hear "One Zuchinni" one more time...I'm gonna have to put my psychiatrist on speed dial...
u see...i am to blame for this obsession...
I wanted miss c to abandon other quirks, like spoons, clothespins..so i introduced her to The Wiggles, i bought her merchandise..even took her to the concert...

But for x mas everyone went over board..I got her two movies..her dad got her 3..yes we are an exagerated bunch...but the one that topped the whole enchilada...was the Piano!! A wiggle piano...who's bright idea u might ask:

Her only uncle: My brother....

he has never EVER EVER given her anything ever..and this year..he had the bright idea to get her this little piano that plays the songs over and over again..

Now I love my brother even more...at night when i am in my sleep and the piano starts cranking up a 'fruit salad' song...i only wish him the very best.

The three little pigs....

Miss C loves movies....
ok..i have not emphazied that enough...

LOVES MOVIES..!!!

she will pick one out..and watch it over and over and over again..till it does not exist anymore...
There are a few we 've had to purchase more than once to replace the one that croaked...

anyhoot...

I told her father, who enjoys buying her tons and tons of flicks..to stop buying her so many movies and deposit that money in her bank account for more important items....like therapy...etc.etc.

before he left (he's out visiting his folks)..he bought her this dvd which had fairytales and fables...and old children stories..
This is the dvd from HELL...
It has "The Three Little Pigs"....

Miss C watches this one, over and over and over again..and when it is done and the next story is about to commence..she wails "PIGSSSSSSSSSS PIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGSSSSSSS, ONE MORE TIME!!!"..

(u might think..awww how cute...believe me, after hearing this wail for the 50th time in like 5 mintues...it isnt that cute....u wanna have the pigs for supper..and the kid while ur at it too)...

so yesterday...i tried to go to bed early....cuz i wanna try to do some excersise in the morning...pay close attention to the words "tried" and "try"...
so Miss C is in the bed...she had fallen asleep earlier...so I snuggle up next to her..and the little runt...pops up from her sleep...kisses me and says "Momma, PIIIIGGS ONE MORE TIME"....

I swear it was like something out of a horror movie "PIIIIGSS...ONE MORE TIME"...
I of course, sick of the pigs, the wolf and their crappy workmanship/construction skills, say "NO..NO MORE PIGS..IT'S BEDTIME"..
so she thinks she can manipulate me and starts kissing me "kiss momma kiss...kiss...pigs momma..pigs"...

I try to stay firm...ignore her....give her my backside...but she is still fussing about the pigs...and manages to get up in the dark and turn on the tv and the dvd player (did i mention i have a 3 year old tv/dvd/stereo wiz)...and just when i'm about to get up and 'holla' that I am not gonna watch the 3 little pigs again...she runs over...hugs me..and says "momma I love u..."...

DAMN!! who's afraid of the big bad wolf..when u're sleeping with the enemy...

Eating a Cable...

In Puerto Rico, we have a saying that goes "me estoy comiendo un cable" ..(I am eating a cable)..which means u are extremely bored...

Well, today is Sunday, Superbowl Sunday..and until the Superbowl actually comes on, there is a whole day inbetween of nothing to do...not to mention we have no water today...yes..we live in a almost third world country and our water gets cut off sometimes for God knows what reason...

anywhoot...in between my 6th viewing of "Mulan"...i decided to do my 'couch potato' skit in my living room...so I'm flipping channels...which during the day on sunday...u can choose between TNT's screeing of "Above the Law", with Steven Segal..or any other of his fine films (the word fine is used very loosely in the previous sentence), HBO has been showing "Clue" all weekend (yes, Clue, as in the game)...or watch the neverending Informercials.......

That is when i saw this:

YOGA BOOTY BALLET....

I'll give u a second to regain ur composure....

yes, u read it right...

YOGA BOOTY BALLET...

Jesus....I couldnt help but watch to see if i had heard the name right...

Yoga booty ballet, which is yes, a combination of yoga and ballet and booty moves, including bellydancing..promises u a slimmer figure in 10 weeks...

YOGA BOOTY BALLET!!!!

i didnt stick around to watch much longer..cuz...just seeing these women move...made me wanna do "number 1" on my couch....

I dont usually plug products...but for the sake of understanding how hilarious this name was...i had to mention it .....

go ahead...google it..so u can see i aint making this up...
i'm not THAT brilliant...

MIA...AWOL...etc.etc.

Don't u ever wish u went MIA...aka...missing in action....don't u have days when u don't wanna even answer ur celly..and just wanna ball up and not have anyone know about u, not have to deal with toddlers demanding ur every second for attention, of not having to make small talk with people, and go completely into "I dont wanna talk to anyone or see anyone mode"....this is looking out to be one of those 'weekends'..
but as I come to think of it...I have been MIA...for years i think...it's funny how certain events can trigger u into this defense mode...and change u forever...yeah i'm talking bout kids...but in my case it was more than having my daughter....
u see...

a very long time ago..in a very foreign land....(actually here on this island)...i was a semi-artist...lord dont let me go into details..but i was sort of in the music business....i did the whole clubbing..studio..show thingy...and it was the most fabulous part of my life...a part i never wanted to forget...

and poof...all of a sudden i wanted to forget...after having Miss C...i wanted no part in that life anymore...i think i did one more show...cuz i got inspired..but then the momentum was gone...i hated having been a part of that 'era'....i would not know how to explain it...but i no longer wanted to be a part of it..and wanted no link to it whatsoever...which meant i stopped speaking, contacting or seeing people, lots of them very good friends, due to this....I completely went MIA...people would ask about me...ask me to keep in touch..whenever i was 'spotted' somewhere..but I just didnt wanna...

i know remember those times, like events that happened in a very far away place...really surreal like...

this weekend...i have felt this way again...i kinda of dont wanna answer my phone..dont wanna talk to anyone..and go completely missing...for this weekend...i dont wanna talk about, autism, housechores and the lack of life i am having at this point...i dont wanna talk to anyone and explain why i have not wanted to answer my calls...etc...

everynow and then..it is good to delete...i just dont know up to what point it is healthy to do so..and lose very important people that are attachted to the package, called ' my life right now '...

bare with me while i ramble on about this ....

Everything is a-o-k...

Hey..today is Friday...good good great!! I can't wait to get home and sleep..
I had a very sleep deprived night yesterday (for those with week stomachs..stay away from this post)..

I tried to go to bed at 9pm (a miracle for me)..and as me and Miss C were sleeping (she still sleeps in my bed...I figure since I'm not getting any..she might as well sleep there)...
I hear her like choking..so i run to turn on the light..and yes folks...The Geizire (think i spelled that wrong) at yellowstone park had errupted...vomit EVERYWHERE..EVERYWHERE...jeeeeeez...

anyway..i spent the rest of the evening washing sheets, changing sheets, changing pillows..my orthopedic pillow died in this event...cleaning up Miss C...etc. etc..went to bed at 12am...and ate some crackers and soda with Miss C after the tragic event...yes we ate ....one gets used to these types of events and goes about them unfazed....

***********************

On another wonderful note...my meeting with the Psychologist went very well..she is very young..and very nice...I think we will get along just fine....so we will see...

***********************

On yet another note...i felt 'spiffy' yesterday so i bought new clothes...(didnt buy shoes..but that will be fixed today)...and ...and..and...Destiny's Child Number 1's cd...yes I bought it..kill me, shoot me..i know i know...
but u see this cd brings back fond memories of a child-less life with a old mitsubishi mirage and hanging out with my 'peeps' at the clubs...which by the way...I might be going out on a girls night only on saturday...pray that my mom will babysit....

***********************
so i guess everything is a-o-k...

Miss C and her specialists...

I don't know if I have mentioned in my profile or anywhere about that Miss C (aka my daughter) was diagnosed with Autism (www.autism.org) at the age of 2 (that story makes for a great post...I just have to sit down and take the time to write it). Since then u can probably imagine my life...doctors, exams, specialists, psychologist, blah blah...teachers...special schools blah blah..

It is not easy..but I am very pleased with the results of my hard labor...and the labor of her 'team'..(her therapists and docs)...she has progressed very well..and most of her severe autistic traits have been completely extinguished...for example..the hand flapping...the violent tantrums..(this one is still lurking about every now and then)..the biting...the rocking in the chair..the zoning out...but I am aware I still have a very long and steep road ahead if I want her to be a full-fledged independent adult when I am no longer here...

Tomorrow Miss C will finally have her first psychological evaluation in a year...also the first coming directly from the Department of Education...(her previous evaluations have been paid from my pocket...my very dry broke pocket might i add)...I am a little concerned...the people at the dept.of.edu. arent the most reliable people...and sometimes they can't see the real problem..for example..Miss C will go in, and be very well behaved..and they will tell me nothing is wrong...I don't think u can conjure up a complete idea of how bad any child with disabilities, situation is with just viewing him/her for 40 minutes...I also don't like the idea of having people poking her around more..asking me the same questions I know by heart.."how old was she when she crawled, walked, talked, rolled over..blah blah" "when did u notice something was wrong?"..blah blah...

I just want to work with her..I just want them to cut to the chase and make a good ABA (applied behavioral analysis) {www.autismteachingtools.com}, program for her..and stop asking me the same god forsaken questions that are already posted up in her 3 inch thick portfolio...

I also worry so much..I worry they will tell me "nice work mom..but she isnt gonna get much better than this" or "mom..(they call u 'mom' and that ticks me off) u've done a pathetic job"..
like I once was told in her initial evaluations...the 'specialist' (she obviously worked with animals prior to working with children) told me that I was a crappy mom because i did not have miss c. in private speech and occupational therapy, and only relied on the therapy given by the dept. of.edu., ...i cried that day so much ..but i realized i didnt have her in private therapy...not because i was a bad mom...but because i didnt have the means, both economically and transportation wise...

anywhoot tomorrow is a big day...i'm scared all these therapies might be too much for her...2 speech, 2 occupational, 1 psychological, 1 kinesiology, plus a specialized school...we will see how it goes....i mean a 3 year old can take so much...u know...


ttfn..

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