This is the Early Bird Special...
As you all probably read in the previous post, I'm gonna be quite busy this upcoming weekend, with some sort of plans of destroying the world as we know it...
1. Friday: Not going to work...throwing a surprise bash for Miss C's teacher at school...She is a sweetheart and really deserves it...Then I've got Predator's "Almost Thirty" Birthday Bash at Monaco...He's a good pal who's gonna almost turn 30...and he's having a big party to celebrate..Empress, Me and True will crash, along with some other gal pals...
2. Saturday: Um..therapies, errands, and probably go to Old San Juan, True has this b-boy thingy and you all know how I love to support the Hip Hop Culture...among other things...There is also this b-day party Miss C got invited to..but I will not go...enough with the kiddie crap.
3. Sunday: Church...I'm guessing. After that...it's a free for all..
So, since I'll be a busy bee, I'm gonna post this up today...cuz tomorrow I doubt I will be able to...
So this is it...
Do you eva git da feelin'?
The feelin' of many things...almost like a 6th sense mixed with a dash of paranoia.
For all those that know...I'll remind you, I'm paranoid. Always have been, always will be. So here goes...
1. Eva git da feelin' that what you are about to do is going to totally blow up in your face but you go along with it anyways, only to have it blow up in your face and be like, 'crap...I know this was gonna happen'.
Best example: Planning a trip with a Guy Pal and not tell my mom. Only to have my car break down and have to end up telling her anyway because she was gonna rescue me.
2. Eva git da feelin' that you have no absolute clue what you are doing right now, right here, right there. Just out of the blue you'll be in your cubicle and go: "What on earth am I doing?" That hits me up like 20 times over the head during the week. I usually shake it off with some caffeine or have a talk with Empress to get it out of my system. I think it's human nature to git this feelin' once in a while....sort of like a brief reality check.
3. Eva git da feelin' that, that extra drink, or extra smoke is gonna get you in massive trouble, like waking up and seeing you have an extra body in your bed....or seeing you've become a "drunk dialer" and have called all the people on your contact list....but you have it anyway...and just pray that the extra body in your bed isn't your ex and that you still have all your organs inside your body.
4. Eva git da feelin' that you are totally, always under scrutiny. That you have to massively prove yourself to everyone in this dammned world?!! That everything you do, think, say is under some huge microscope for everyone to process, digest and comment on. Eva git da feelin' that no matter how good you try to do things, everyone is always gonna find your flaw. Well, it's true. Everyone is flawed. And it's also true that in some way or another, we are ALL under scrutiny. It's called Life. It's also called Society. There is no escaping it. The key to surviving:
Learning to be more comfortable in your own skin and stop wearing your neighbor's.
Although if I wore my neighbor's skin I'd have to do like major readjustments in my wardrobe....like total downgrade...
So...what feelin's do u git??!!!
Most importantly...How comfortable r u in ur own skin?
Happy weekend folks..!
But if you wanna see like totally totally great fantastic breathtaking pics...u must go here:
Trust me...when I say breathtaking...I'm not exaggerating!
"I'm really worried about my mom" Moi
"Why? because of the flying rice??!!" Empress
"Well...really what worries me is that she will actually kill herself..and I'll be stuck paying for all the services..."
"Damn..that's a lot of money you know.." Empress
"Well, then I'll just have her cremated...and bury her with the cat in the yard...she loved the cat more than all of us combined"
"Oh...You are so going to hell...I mean like, VIP status...by the way..you do understand that when she is cremated you have to watch the process..like, you actually have to watch them cremate her" Empress
"Well...umm..in that case...can you loan me your IPOD?"
I can't take this stuff too seriously, you know?
I don't think there will be a Friday's Four this week....
I'm kind of suffering from Writer's Block..or Blogger's Block..any suggestions welcome...
I'm kind of out of sync today so forgive my briefness...
Thought of the day:
Never compromise your identity.
We did it again...
This time we kind of over did it..
So I had to like mash it up into two different segments...
Ignore my total lack of editing skills..
Look out for when Empress runs over the yellow light and almost kills a pedestrian..
Look out for my : "We are gonna get arrested for this video squeal!!"...
Yummy....Pizza and Chicken Breast Sandwhiches with Fries!!!
The weatherman predicted massive hysteria, downright depression and misery.
The weatherman for once was right.
But this time,
I. bought. my. umbrella.
And used it.
I got home yesterday to find my mom's kitchen in complete K-AOS: rice everywhere, broken dishes, things boiling on the stove and my mom just arguing with herself.
I sat my ass down and tried to have a decent meal, but she just kept going.
And then the top off the seasoning came off and she poured almost half a container of it into the beans.
"Now the devil won't eat my beans!!!"
She said this about 10 times in a row.
While she stated that "Lucy" wouldn't eat her beans, my bro, poor lad, came in with such a chipper attitude and when he saw the hell that was raising in the kitchen he looked at me for answers.
I gave him my best: I-know-exactly-the-same-things-you-do-nada look
Then my dad came in arguing as well.
"Bro, don't drink the tap water".
My mom began to cry over the beans. Like if they weren't salty enough.
"I wanna die. I want God to kill me. If I could only die".
Hate to break it to ya' but God doesn't take in those kind of requests. He's a very selective DJ.
I am truly genuinely worried about her state of health and the things she might be capable of doing, but I have consumed all my resources trying to reach out to her. I am worried, but calm. Let things be. Hopefully she will realize she needs help. But you can't make anyone get help, who doesn't first acknowledge they need it.
So for now, I think I'll make my own dinner and retreat early to my pad. That toxicity is not good for me and Miss C, neither are salty beans.
In amusing news, I haven't been watching any games since they are not televising any, due to Football. But I'm glad we secured our spot to the playoffs, because we have lost the past two games against Tampa real bad. Although we got revenge last night and kicked their butts 16 to 1. White Sox are officially out of the playoffs and Detroit and Twins made it.
Ok. let me make this parentesis, the guy who works with me just came in my office and asked me:
"Do you know who Abraham Lincoln was?"
"An asshole wasn't he?"
Um. sometimes ignorance isn't bliss.
In even more amusing news....
I have this gal pal...This gal pal who is a bit liberal in her life. Liberal meaning not afraid to be blunt on certain subjects, et. al.
We talk quite a bit and sometimes her stories are more hilarious than mine.
She told me one yesterday that almost made me .....throw up a cookie I had for dinner. So I will feel free to share...she doesn't have access to my blog and it's all in anonymous fun.
G.P. (Gal pal) is very 'for' safe sex. Which I totally applaud. But as she tells me she has never had the need to go buy condoms herself. Her partners usually bring them along and if they don't well they just don't get the "goods", usually.
So she tells me she has this Guy. This guy she happens to like alot. And well...push came to shove and she knew they needed to protect each other. She didn't know, for the first time in her life, how to approach the subject with her male friend and decided she would be brave and buy the condoms herself.
"What's the big deal anyway?" she bantered.
"It's good I want to be responsable".
So she tells me she goes into this pharmacy in the middle of rush hour. Tsk Tsk. And decides to get her lil' shopping basket and go get some sodas and crap and then heads out to get what she had to get.
"Oh My God!!!!! Can't they just have like regular, buy-me-for-sexual-protection-condoms!! NOOOOO They have like all these brands, types, styles...too confusing for me....They actually intended on having me read this stuff, in the aisle, at rush hour, with No glasses??!!"
Notice how her worry was not having glasses to read the box and its contents.
She quickly picked the most 'normal' box she could find and headed out to the cash register.
A guy was at the cash register.
But oddly enough, she says she wasn't embarrassed.
The guy rings up her stuff, without even looking at her in the eyes and when he is about to place the box in the bag it slips out of his hands and falls on the floor over the counter in front of him.
"You should've seen this kid's face!!" she squealed
"He scrambled like a maniac trying to get the box and shove it in the bag!! And I'm like, dude, chill they are only condoms, not a nuclear warhead....He was more embarrassed than I should have been!! I took my bag and left like totally chill."
Can I add, that I would have probably been mortified. I would have probably tried to sneak the box between some Raisinets or Peanut Butter M&M's...
G.P. you have guts and you deserve to be totally admired.
Now if only we can get the rest of the population to behave this way!!
Thought of the day: Belts should be banned, unless we can see the crack in your ass...because Crack is Wack!
Stuck on the end of this ball and chain
And I'm on my way back down again
Stood on a bridge, tied to the noose
Sick to the stomach
You can say what you mean
But it won't change a thing
I'm sick of the secrets
Stood on the edge, tied to a noose
You came along and you cut me loose
You came along and you cut me loose
You came along and you cut me loose.
Long weekend. Very Long. It was the equivalent of being on an infinite rollercoaster.
No end. Very Emotional.
Friday: Empress came over, we chilled, True stopped by, we chilled. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Saturday: Ditched Therapy to go run some errands with Miss C. She started complaining about this massive stomachache. She began to cry and bend over in pain, she started getting a fever....Things escalated. 2 hours later, I'm at the ER. 7 hours later I am back home. Seems she has a throat infection complicated with something in her tummy. She is better now. But mommy was creating massive hysteria at Walgreens where I had to wait for almost 3 hours to get her meds. I publically apologize to True, who with his never ending patience had to hear me lose my temper a few times.
"What do you mean it's been 3 hours and her meds aren't ready???"
"What do you mean the lady who is supposed to verify my kid's meds is on the phone??"
::bends over counter::
"She needs to get off the phone!!"
"Where is the Walgreens from the commercials!!??"
Sunday: Ex was taking Miss C to the circus. I was flying solo. I went to church.
Yes. With True.
No. I didn't wear anything boob flashing.
Yes. I did wear my new Audrey Hepburn pants.
I had never been so nervous in my life. True came to pick me up and The Ex was there picking up Miss C. True asked if he should say "HI", because they know each other, I suggested he did. Can you spell awkward? yeah, neither can I. They took too long exchanging "hello's" and I frankly, had never been more anxious to get to church than at that moment...but they said their "goodbyes" and we were off.
I literally felt my heart was going to jump out of my chest from all the excitement. To top it all off, we were running a bit late, so everyone noticed when we entered.
The pastor quickly noticed my presence and acknowledged me in front of everyone and asked if I was a family member...
I am a friend.
"Ok, then, everyone go say hi to E.!!"
Everyone came and said "HI".
Yeah. I felt like an ostrich right about then. Only I couldn't seem to sink my head through the blue carpeting while trying not to let everyone see my best Britney Spear's chewing gum impersonation. I needed some type of retainer in all the hype.
Shawn Boltz was there for a Congress they were having at their church that weekend. The service was truly funny and very amusing. He's a very mellow guy, great speaker and had a great way of getting his message across without making you want to auto-inflict paper cuts with The Bible pages. At the end of the service he was going to like pray one-on-one with the people who wanted to.
True suggested I go up and have him like pray/minister for me. (I don't know if I got the terminology correct, so church folk, bare with me). I declined. Me / prayer / church / not a good combo.
As the people got up and held his hand I saw so many things before me. ::sigh:: I saw my life and where it's at right now and how badly I wanna make things right.
"True, would you accompany me up there?"
Shawn commented on my ring immediately, asked if I had made it...I'm always the fashion maven...even in church....
We chuckled, he held my hand. He talked.
I am not giving too many details on the things he said, but he did say I needed more faith and that I have had so many hardships in my life and that things were going to look up for me.
He asked God to give me more Faith.
That strung a High Chord in my emotions. Faith I have so trouble having. Faith so abstract, just like Love. Faith which enables us to move on. Faith that scares the hell out of me, when I think "What if this is all a crock?".
Shockingly enough I did not cry. But it blew my mind for the rest of the evening. The phrase "Give her faith", stills rings in my head this morning. The phrase which probably gave me that killer ass migraine last night. The phrase that makes me tremble with fear, joy, sadness, bittersweetness. The phrase that helps me hold on at moments like last night when my dad questioned as to why I went to church and why was I there for such a long time.
Faith when I see the eyes of my daughter and I hear her say "mommy". Faith is what I fear. Because I fear life, change, transformation. Because it is much easier to not have faith and live in complete static, in a complete standstill.
But it is this itty bitty faith that has been growing in my heart for several weeks now that has removed the noose that I had so rebelliously tied around my neck.
Now I need faith to take the steps I need to take to make this right.
Not for anyone else, but me.
So. That was my church thingy.
Afterwards I accompanied True to pick up his dad at the airport. I met his parents. Real Cool Folk.
We went to eat.
And headed back to my place to chill with Miss C who was back from the circus.
At around midnight we called it a night. Needless to say, we were both snoozing on the couch. It has been a long weekend and we both needed our beauty rest.
So after my beauty rest, another day has come...and I think it'll all be ok.
I just have to let it be.
And I am now the official 'Rainbow' Hunter...
True pointed this one on our way home...
Before I get to my weekend post...
Here's my pre-post.
I'm running a taaad late..
Just a taaad
But lucky me, there is no traffic.
I reach the tollbooth with my 50 cents in hand.
Car in front of me, decides it doesn't have change and wants the lady at the tollbooth next door to come change her dollar...
This is wrong from the get-go.
Tollbooth lady is pissed, but brings her the change anyway..
The stupid lady deposits her change, moves her car forward but the gate won't open...
I had already moved my car forward too in hopes of moving on. So our cars are like in between the thingy where you deposit the change.
She then gets out of her car, with change in her hand and comes towards me...
"Here's my money, deposit it for me".
Insert, open eyes and WTF? Look here.
"What? You want me to get out of my car to deposit your money!!!?? What is wrong with the people on this Godforsaken island!!"
Now picture this scenario with horns honking, people shouting...
I deposited her money and mine. The gate opened for her, but closed for mine, because, it was a quarter short.
She jipped me for a quarter.
Karma Karma Karma.
That's all I can hope for.
What happens when two girlfriends who happen to watch "Flavor of Love" go out to lunch??
You just gotta love my new cam!!! which also happens to take some mean video clips!!!
Here are some extra pics!!
Empress with a dress!!!!???
A sticker that read: All Man Made Materials, that got stuck on the window!!
Empress waving our traditional "It sure is hot in here!!" phrase!!
Pics of the ocean...right by our jobs...ain't we lucky bitches!!
Now for real...I'm off..I've been addicted to blogger all day...
Well Well Well..
It seems like someone has been out & about.
Yesterday True gave me a call talkin' bout some Festival/Show of some people we know near my house...at the college near my house...
He asked if he could stop over after the Festival since he was gonna be so close by.
I asked if I could actually go to the Festival.
Mommy needed a night out away from Miss C.
Get the pic??
(Insert marker face image here from previous night)
So I ask Vader...Mom. And she says Yes.
Not before giving me the rundown on how it's a weeknight and she's tired and blah blah blah....
So I get dressed, True picks me up and we're off.
It starts to rain.
We are headed to an outdoors activity.
My hair and make up is nice.
"I am gonna melt, this isn't how it's supposed to go down!!" I whine.
We get there, True has no idea where exactly is this event. We find out it's in the student parking, so after deciding I would wear True's jacket on my head and not get my hair wet, we head out.
The activity was a Festival with different musical acts and one of those guests happened to be friend's of True, and accquaintances of mine, a political rap group called Intifada. I say accquaintances, because when I was in the music biz..my group and that group had lots of ego issues. But it's all good and I hold no grudge. I just came to enjoy the music and I do think they are talented, so go head'.
As soon as they saw us, they said "HI". We obviously got odd stares because no one can picture me hanging out with someone as mellow as True. You guys have no idea how I used to be.....::shaking head::
The rain let up...and a few acts took place...everything was cool...so I decided to hit Empress up..she was nearby so she stopped by....just in time to catch Intifada's performance. They were kinda of pissed when they came on because before stepping up on stage they were warned that they couldn't curse or such, or they would not get paid. Funny because the crack-act before them, that made my ears bleed, talked about 'oral sex' and said 'Holy Shit' more times than I care to remember.
Intifada's performance, by my standard's was hot. Of course, many college students don't understand the complexity of the political statements in the songs so there was a luke warm reception. And "L" made it very clear by giving thanks for all the 'standing ovations'... I also found it hilarious that "L", the lead emcee, made it clear many times how they were being censored and how they wouldn't get paid if they cursed...he apologized many times for his...publically.
I know the event organizer's were having a cow with this one.
Of course I had my cam....and took as many pictures as I could before my batteries completely died out.
And I know you'd all like to see...so here goes...
In life, we have our usual contenders for "Thank you's"...U know who they are ...Our friends, family, neighbors, blah blah...
People who have made a difference in our lives and have made us wanna be a better person...
Which is good.
I'm not complaining.
I've had my share of people like that.
But I also have my share of people I'd like to thank for all the wrong reasons. People who have influenced me in the worst of ways, people who don't know they changed my life, for better or worse, people who think they are insignificant with their actions but have managed to leave an imprint in my lil' life on earth...
These are the people who no one, not even them, expect to be thanked.
Friday's Four: Un-Likely Thanx Edition
1. Mr. Breslow, my Vice-Principal back in Elementary School. He made our life a living hell with his pants way up high on his waist, almost like a jumper made of bad polyester, and yelling at the lunch line, "Move da' line....MOVE THE LINE".
Frankly I thought he was a pain in the ass making us move and shuffle our feet at the ridiculous lunch line.
I now understand and see myself using this phrase more then I would care to admit.
At the slow ass bank with 30 customers and 2 tellers: "Move the line!"
At the drive-thru with 8 cars moving at a ratio of 2 every 15 minutes: "Move the line!!"
In traffic when the light turns green and the guy in the car before you finds whatever is in his nose more interesting than moving on foward:
"Move the line!!"
Mr. Breslow, I now know that a fast moving line...is a happy moving line..
2. The little old lady who waits until the cashier rings up her Loaf of Wheat Bread, her cat food and gallon of low-fat milk, to decide she wants to pay in change. Change meaning nickels and pennies, change as in, scattered change in random parts of her purse.
I now know what my goal isn't when I reach that age.
3. The f*ckers who don't use their blinkers. I thank you because you have made me acquire psychic abilities I didn't know I had. I can know predict which way you are going to turn just by feeding off the vibe of your car. Thank you. My next goal is to be able to further develop these skills to be able to predict when you are going to abruptly cut me off and almost kill me in traffic.
4. For the people who said I couldn't, I can't, I won't, I didn't. You are the ones that instead of wishing you the worse, I wish you a long life. I thank you because you are the ones that motivate me and make me want, can and do, yesterday, today and tomorrow.
Have a great weekend folks...!!!
Thought for the day: Who wants to be normal?
I have been doing my homework, reading the articles, the papers, the commentary and now I will submit my preliminary ideas on this year's upcoming playoffs...
Feel free to click on that "X" in the corner.
Long, boring commentary and techinical mumbo-jumbo up ahead.
Let's start with the National League.
It's no surprise that The New York Mets have been the first team in the whole MLB to secure their spot to the playoff's this year. Have you seen their record? 92 / 59. If I am not mistaken it's the best record in the league this year. These people are good, and with Beltran, Delgado, Valentin, Glavine and coach Randolph...it's no surprise. This is a serious team to watch.
St. Louis is the leader in the Central Division of the NL and their standings are no where near as impressive as the Mets. This month they have been a bit shaky as well. I'm pretty sure that even though they are good, they aren't good enough.
San Diego is 11 games away from securing the West NL Title. Their record is not impressive either. They are holding on to a very slim lead in the division over the Dodgers of about half-a-game. It's still a bit pre-mature to tell if they are gonna actually make it. They lost last night as well.
As for Wild Card positions in the NL, it's anyone's game still. The Dodgers are half a game behind San Diego for the leading spot and are currently tied in the Wild Card race at 11 games away, from Philadelphia. It all kinda of depends on how the rest of the weekend paints out.
Now for the American League:
"By their nature, the New York Yankees are an intimidating team. They flash their money like rappers, play in a stadium that oozes history and trot out five players who make more this year than the entire Florida Marlins roster"
By Jeff Passan, Yahoo! Sports
Yankees have won the AL Title and therefore their division. They had a very tough season and frankly I didn't think they would make it to the playoffs, but at the end, they acquired Abreu, got Cano back off the DL list (Disabled List) (hopefully they'll get Sheffield off before playoffs) and most importantly got Matsui aka "Godzilla" back on the field...making two homers on his first day back, since his injury in May. So they have got some of their shit together. Offensively they need to cut back on the errors and their pitching isn't the best in the game. They've got an impressive record, mostly due to the massive 5 game sweep over Boston that helped push their lead to 11 games at one point, but there are some teams like Detroit, Minsesota and The Mets that are ready to go...
In the Central Division, nothing is still certain. Detroit that once had a pretty secure lead to win their division has had that lead shot to shit. They are only 1/2 a game ahead of Minnesota, which is only 6 games away from securing a Wild Card spot.
Meanwhile the WhiteSox still have a break. Yesterday, although they lost to Detroit, they played very good. Oakland on the other hand, is a shoe in, in the West.
So it's still on...
But I'm still rooting for mine...!!
"This might be the strongest group of playoff teams I can remember. When you start looking at the pitching, the hitting – whoever comes from the AL is going to be very strong...What do we have, 90 wins? We've still got 60 losses. And that's what you have to remember. No matter how good we look now, this is still baseball, and nobody knows what can happen."
Jason Giambi's (from The yanks) take on the playoffs this year...
Let me take a quick shower and get dressed to go watch the game with True.
::Jumps out shower::
Let me put on my bathrobe right quick while I dab some make-up so as not to scare the crap out of True.
::puts on bathrobe::
*flutter, flutter, buzz buzz*
::feels crawling on neck, swats at neck::
Sees this on floor:
(Excuse me if it's a bit blurry..it's hard taking a pic of something you don't wanna get too close to!!)
::Stomps on with flip flop::
You are definitely in the wrong house, bitch.
And therefore you must die.
Miss C's take: Mommy a roach!!!! Picture !!!!
Notice how she mantained a HUGE distance between her and the disgusting insect.
I need to get screens for my windows ASAP.
In other exciting news...True came over to accompany me see the way the Yankees totally screwed up and lost the game last night, but also see Boston also screw it up and hand over the AL Division Title aka our Playoff Ticket, to the Yanks.
Even Big Papi wasn't enough.
As for my team...you guys need to get your shit straight. The competition ahead is very very tough, especially The Mets. It's gonna be a tough post season.
With lots of posts on baseball. So brace yourselves...
Well I'm off peeps...
Since I am not creating havoc or wishing for anymore drama...
conjure up some for moi and let me know!
I took True's advice.
I walked in yesterday with a smile on my face and acted like if nothing had happened the day before.
Vader aka "Happy Sucking" Vacuum aka My Mom smiled at Miss C, but my reception was a bit chilly.
She's expecting me to chew her ass up.
Which wasn't gonna happen.
I asked what was for dinner she quickly announced the menu and served my plate.
I had dinner in silence and she then came up with two pieces of chocolate.
"I saved these for you" Mom
"That's ok...I don't want any" Moi
"But...I saved them just for you". Mom
I took the chocolates. Take them before all hell breaks loose.
It was the equivalent of the White Flag.
I guess a Truce.
I must say, I was very proud of myself.
I controlled my over-exhilarated temper and behaved like an adult.
And it was all good.
I just wish I would have known that was gonna happen before I fell into The Gap on my way home from work, for some retail therapy. I figured if Vader was gonna give me hard time, I might has well have a kick-ass wardrobe. I went in for the new "Audrey Hepburn" "Skinny Pants". And I ended up with a tab I don't dare to say here and too many shirts that refuse to fit in my closet.
Did I get the "skinny pants"?
Not the ones I originally wanted.
But I got a pair similar.
The people at Gap, love me.
Next time I have a hard time in my life, take away my cash and my cards.
For the sake of my sanity before the statement comes in.
Where was True when I needed him in the Mall??!!! I needed a voice of reason there!!!!
In other topics...
My mom was commenting on how two kids tried to get kidnapped yesterday, at school and at the supermarket.
Like my supermarket trips weren't complicated enough, trying to avoid getting too close to the aisles so Miss C won't knock half of produce to the floor, avoiding all aisles with toys, chips and gluten infested foods, trying to survive in the line while Miss C is chanting: M&M's!! M&M's!!
Now I have to watch that someone won't snatch her off the cart.
Can things get a lil' more complicated?
The Magic Number is 1.
That number represents the number of games the Yankees need to win, to win their division.
Or the number of games Boston needs to lose in order for the Yankees to win.
Whichever is clever.
We play Toronto today.
I'll see ya peeps at the Playoffs.
Miss C has discovered her artistic talent.
She decided that is was a bright idea to turn herself into a human canvas and paint her ass with purple magic markers, right after her bedtime bath.
I instantly saw the deal and told her if she wanted to paint anyone, she could paint mommy. After all, the markers were washable and mommy was gonna go take a shower anyway.
I should've had my camera.
Because when I looked in the mirror, there wasn't a flesh of skin Miss C did not paint.
Crack in Butt. Check.
And in between painting me, she managed to serve herself up with a couple of strokes as well.
It was all in good fun.
I just hope she doesn't get any ideas tonight.
"Mommy Mommy!! Can I smother you in play-doh?? Oh can I, can I??!!"
And then people ask me, why I don't want anymore kids???
Thought of the day:
Taken from Dilated People's "Kindness for Weakness"
"Don't you take my kindness for weakness", because it's not happening people.
By Alanis Morrisette
Sometimes is never quite enough
If you’re flawless, then you’ll win my love
Don’t forget to win first place
Don’t forget to keep that smile on your face
Be a good boy
Try a little harder
You’ve got to measure up
And make me prouder
How long before you screw it up
How many times do I have to tell you to hurry up
With everything I do for you
The least you can do is keep quiet
Be a good girl
You’ve gotta try a little harder
That simply wasn’t good enough
To make us proud
I’ll live through you
I’ll make you what I never was
If you’re the best, then maybe so am i
Compared to him compared to her
I’m doing this for your own damn good
You’ll make up for what I blew
What’s the problem... why are you crying
Be a good boy
Push a little farther now
That wasn’t fast enough
To make us happy
We’ll love you just the way you are if you’re perfect
"Ok. Now let me go and start some drama...
I'm craving a big cupful of it right about now..."
That was yesterday.
Be careful with what you wish for....
Because it might just come true.
I asked for 'drama' yesterday. And boy oh boy did I get it.
By the gallon.
It seems to me that nothing can ever remain smoothly for more than a certain amount of time. It seems like"Murphy"is never far away.
And I knew this was coming. I am happy. I knew misery was just a knock of a door away.
Yesterday, True called me up cause he was in the area buying some stuff for his church with some people. He asked if he could stop by. So I figure:
"Sure!! Why not?!!"
At around 9:30pm, True arrives, goes upstairs and we sit in the living room chilling, trying to find a game to watch. Miss C was already long gone in sleepy land.
So we're there, we're laughing, talking...blah blah...having a good ol' time...when..
::knock knock knock::
It was about 10:30 or so....
I give True a who-the-hell-can-that-be-look and walk towards the door.
"Who is it?"
Me as in My Mom. As in My Mom with this clearly recognizable i-am-miserable-and-i've-come-forth-to-whip-out-more-misery-upon-yee-folk, voice.
"Is this how's it gonna be every day? Late night visits all week" Mom
"Um..??!!! what is your problem?" Moi
"Is Miss C asleep?" Mom
"Yeah...a long while back ago..." Me
She then proceeds to give me her best dirty-i-will-melt-you-with-my-eyes stare and walks down the stairs, huffing and puffing.
Before I continue, let me rewind back to Sunday. Sunday, while me and Empress were outside she made similar comment, along the lines of:
"People work tomorrow. It's late".
People work tomorrow? What people? You? You're a housewife, lady. Get a grip. I work tomorrow and I'm the one responsable for getting my ass up. Thank you.
But last night she just crossed the line.
I closed the door and was pissed as hell.
I absolutely broke down and cried. I was so upset. And mortified and embarrassed True had to hear my mom be an ass.
I am an adult. I am 27 f-ing years old!!! I pay RENT, I pay my own utilities. This is MY house. And I will not allow her to be a prick just because she is miserable. That, alas, isn't my fault. I'm not in my house beating my kid, or leaving her with strangers so I can go and drink and smoke pot. I am not bringing men over and sleeping around. I am at my house watching a baseball game and drinking Seven-fucking-up. Maybe if I did bring a crack head home and we did some lines on the coffee table, she wouldn't be whining. Anyways. So I cried and vented and cursed and just rambled on like some psycho and apologized to True.
True on the other hand, was cool as cucumber.
"Do you want me to leave?"
"No. This is my (*&^%$#@ house!!" Moi
"Ok. Take it easy"
"Oh nooooo!! this isn't staying this way!!! Tomorrow I will give her a piece of my mind...she has to be put in her place (I was actually thinking of giving her a piece of my mind as soon as True left)".
True with his mellow-chello attitude looks at me and goes:
"It's not worth it. Let her be. Are you happy?"
"Then forget it. You will accomplish nothing arguing with her. Don't let her ruin your happiness. You have to understand that now when you are most happy, many things will come into your life that will try to take that happiness from you"
Yeah. Like the "Happiness-Sucking-Vortex" Vacuum of my Mom.
"You have to learn to recognize these challenges and be brave about them and learn to ignore them and not let them get you down. You deserve your happiness and you need to be strong and tackle these things in a better way. Let her be. Come home tomorrow and be as happy as you can be. She'll understand, sooner or later, that her actions were wrong".
I panicked. Started crying again.
"I just wanna be happy. I want her to be happy for me. She's my mom. But on the other hand I don't want you, or anyone else for that matter to feel that they can't come to my house, or feel uncomfortable".
"Me not visit again? That's not happening. She's gonna have to get used to seeing my face. Her attitude doesn't affect me. On the contrary, when I get home, I'll pray for her. Don't worry. Don't let this get you down. I'm there for you." True
We spent the rest of the night making jokes, laughing and trying to forget the sour note that almost ruined my vibe.
But not quite.
The only sad part is that I actually had given her a card, earlier that day, to cheer her up, since she has been in such a foul mood lately and she opened the card and didn't even acknowledge it. The actual sad part is that I spent the equivalent of a lunch on her card.
There goes a value menu down the drain.
Mom. I don't hate you. I just dislike you right about now. You have been miserable for quite some time since grandma died. 5 years ago. You seem to not want anyone else to enjoy happiness and be on the same train with you. I rode that train once. For a long time. But I decided to get off. It was going in circles. I can't get on that train anymore, and as much as I love you, I can't accompany you. I extend you an invitation to ride the train I'm on now. The one with the comfy seats, the free cold ice-tea and the nice lounge music. You're more then welcome to come along, after all, you're my mom and I wouldn't want anything more than to see you at peace, not even happy, just simply at peace.
But I will not be dragged on to that train again. I refuse to be shoved on that train. I refuse to be treated like if I was 4. I refuse to let you contaminate me with your vibe. I am getting a vaccine against people like you.
just. so. you. know.
I wanted drama.
There. was. drama.
But i'm the drama. mama. and. i. won't. allow. your. drama. to. become. mine.
I love you.
But I love myself a wee bit more.
This by far, has been one of the nicest weekends I've had in a long time...
I didn't travel...I didn't go to any fancy hotel or anything similar...
I spent the weekend in good company...and that's all I needed...
Saturday I decided to ditch everyone and go to the B-Boy thing-a-mo-bob...
Me and Miss C pulled up around 5pm to Old San Juan. True was already there and he quickly introduced me to his friends, their wives and kids ....Everyone was very nice....and no one barged the theme of God on me. I did get invited to church on any Sunday and was invited to pray with them at the begining of the activity (but I remained sitting), but it was so exhilirating seeing them' boys dancing on that linoleum....and the people gathering about...asking questions..and the faces of shock when they found out that this was a church group..!!
I even translated for one of the boys....
Yeah yeah. The words "love of Jesus Christ" came out of my mouth.
At around 9pm I called it a night...Miss C was causing havoc on the dancefloor dancing her buns on...'breakdancing' and being silly....it was all cute until she began to ask for toys...
That was my cue.
Later on True showed up at my house and we replayed the day and watched some movies.
My recomendation for the weekend: Tsoti.
Sunday...I was dragged to the B-day party.
For some odd odd reason..my dad aka Mr. Vietnam...decided he wanted to accompany me and Miss C...
He was civilized....
We were civilized...
We talked, we listened to some Old Salsa on our way there..
Got to the park and behaved.
The only one decided on not behaving was Miss C. Who decided that all presents should have been donated to her. After reasoning with her long enough for them to cut the cake...I mosied on home.
I had volunteered to cook so as soon as I got home I got the cooking thing packed. What did I make?
Take a wild guess??
Some things never change.
Empress had a wedding that day and we kept in touch pretty much all afternoon.
True called and I extended an invite to dinner, movies and a ballgame.
True showed up...followed by Empress a few hours later.
True, Empress, Miss C and Me.
We used to all hang out and work together, way back when.
And it was so great to have such special people over.
We laughed, even watched an old 'show' I did once....
We reminisced...got sad, nostalgic, and happy all over again.
The Yankees lost the doubleheader yesterday...and even that didn't get me down...
At almost 2am...we called it quits.
Am I sleepy?
But was it worth it?
What do you think?
Ok. Now let me go and start some drama...
I'm craving a big cupful of it right about now...
Enjoy my pics of Saturday and Sunday...Just a mix of my weekend!!
Cool pics of the telephones in Old San Juan!
Park...@ B-day Party!
True and E. aka Mary!
Empress with Miss C..
The crew and the Dog!
A pretty sight
The special people in my life!!
The beautiful Old San Juan
Miss C chillin' at the fountain
Mommy and Miss C
Miss C and Empress...
I loved this picture!!!
B-Boys getting down
I love you guys!!!!!!!
::gags on saliva produced by well wishes and intentions::
**Ignore the stupid ass hyperlinks on the photos..you guys know I'm photo incapacitated....**
So much for having a pretty post!!