Sometimes words are overrated.
Yesterday in the midst of the KAOS...in the turmoil...as I when upstairs after being on my knees praying hardcore...True and I sat on seperate couches.
And as I sat in with my legs crossed and my eyes closed, as if I was set to do some Yoga, he sat besides me, leaned me in on his chest and put his hand on my hair.
And that was all that I needed.
Besides the diabolical doll terrorizing my shower, Vietnam has been at it again.
Me and True had to intervene last night and remove all sharp objects, knives, pills, scissors and screwdrivers out of his pad. He is not doing good.
We had to place these objects upstairs.
More knives in a house with a diabolical doll.
that makes perfect sense.
For Christmas, Vader got Miss C a Little Mermaid Doll. The one you can put in the water and bathe with her. Her fin lights up and she sings....
Very beautiful and innovative. Ariel has become a regular in our shower and Miss C can't get enough of her.
Only that now, her batteries have sort of worn out and when you press her fin, instead of singing, she sounds like Linda Blair in the Exorcist.
Eering and very very Creepy.
I'll put a vid later on...
Now everytime I take a shower I shiver when she gazes upon me with her big blue eyes and diabolical dialect.
damn you Disney.
But I'm back.
and I still breathe.
Saturday I skipped therapies and took Miss C to get a haircut...and then headed to pick up True's mom to do some shopping...they are having guests over from the states and she needed to hit up a few grocery stores...
I didn't mind taking her.
She's a doll.
So while we shopped, True was out doing some stuff as well.
After our diverse duties, we chilled at his spot.
As we sat on the porch, getting some fresh air, this scenario played out:
He was on his laptop chatting to the friend.
The friend I don't like.
Who happens to be depressed because her boyfriend's mom, doesn't like her (shocker)...and she (the mom) still wants to hang out with the ex-girlfriend.
karma will getcha everytime.
I gotta admit I couldn't help but feel a twinge of delight.
She told True she was upset..blah blah..blah..and that she got futher upset when:
"You called me and told me Mary was out with your mom".
"You called her??"
"No. She called me, I returned her call".
"Why do you have to give her a report on what I'm doing?"
He kept typing.
I tried to be an adult and not smash his laptop right then and there.
"Wanna say hi to her?"
He begins to type...."mary is here....and "
I immediately intervene and hit delete.
"Don't even go there, dude".
Luckily my phone rings.
It was about a gig.
A music gig. I stepped out to talk, due to poor reception.
I took the call, the info and made my way back to the porch.
True was still busy.
So I decided I'd tell him once he had a moment.
"So...who was that on the phone?"
"The guy about the song thing".
"And when were you going to tell me about the call, *pauses* Next week?"
Ha. Being sarcastic to Moi. People don't know me yet.
I am quick witted.
"Why do you wanna know? So you can give your friend a full report?".
Oh my. Oh my.
Homeboy stood up as fast as he could. Anger and rage all built up.
"I told you I'm not gonna take this...blah blah blah blah".
"You started. What was I supposed to do, keep shut? No way...."
I wanted to punch him.
Call the friend.
And tell them both to go to Starbucks and get married.
I had to control my temper, because we were at his house and his parents were there.
I took him outside.
We argued. and argued. and argued.
I wanted to go home.
I wasn't gonna stand for this, 'i'll say-something-to-piss-u-off-but-u-can't-return-the-favor' scenario.
His mom started calling me to join her on the couch.
My face was hot and red and I could feel the tears building up.
I went in and started fidgeting in the kitchen to calm down.
True walked past me, huffing and puffing.
And I gave him my best...I hope you choke on cranberry juice look.
He started to get something in the fridge.
I gave him my back and started washing some dishes.
He came and hugged me from behind.
*kiss kiss kiss kiss*
I wanted to beat him over the head with a pan.
He turned me around and apologized.
I looked at him and didn't say a word.
He apologized several times.
made me look him in the eyes.
I accepted the apology.
Yeah. I love the guy. Sue me.
But that kind of put a sour note on the rest of the evening.
And my mind kept thinking about this friend, who is becoming a real pain in my life.
I know that I should feel love and not hate and all that mumbo-jumbo, but girlfriend is getting on my nerves.
The rest of the weekend proceeded smoothly. With True being nice and kind and lovey-dovey...
Behaving like the great man I know.
Even touching the "M" subject again.
It sounds nice.
But there are some kinks in the system we have to work out.
I was gonna get up to do Pilates this morning, but between this, the Oscar's (Where Scorsese picked up his first statuette), I couldn't pull myself out of bed this morning...
So much for all the ab work I was gonna do...
Monday March 1st, 2007...
Baseball Season Begins...(it's actually the Spring Training Games..but who cares)
First Game of the Season between Yankees and Boston!!
Gamenights are back on!
Back to hiatus.
I'm sorta of feeling the Brit Brit....Ms. Spears...
without the shaving the head bit.
I'll be out for a while.
a semi-hiatus state.
I need to sort some things out.
Be good kiddies.
For reasons some of you know..
I decided to remove the previous posts.
Lot of shizz going on.
Be back later...
To all those that posted...
thank u...it means a lot to me.
I just had a personal pizza with bacon and a wonderful delish chocolate chip cookie...
Maybe my sweet tooth isn't lost afterall....
This weekend, might I add was the laziest weekend of all.
I didn't do diddly squat.
Friday as soon as I heard Vader was making her way home, I jetted.
She called during my escape from No Man's land...and it went something like this:
"Dad is drunk, I don't suggest you go"
"Are you home?"
"Nope. I'm not staying the weekend".
"Why you *&^%$ Egostistical(*&^^%$$!!! you and your church...!@#$$%"
::throat starts to crack::
"I'm hanging up now, when you're more civil we'll talk".
That translates into: We will never talk, Eva Eva.
So, I went to church, spent the weekend at True's.
We didn't do much but we did manage to go to the beach early saturday morning. I left my camera in the car.
I tortured myself for that all day long. The walk was too long to go retrieve it, but the day was sunny, the sea was beautiful and we all had a great time.
Like a lil' cute fam.
Miss C behaved to perfection.
And me and True desperately seeked the sun for our white asses.
Alas, I didn't get much.
I got kind of sunkissed..but that's about it.
The rest of the day transcurred with us moping about on the couches, around the house, just doing nothing.
I made us a quick dinner and we called it a night early.
Sunday we made our usual rounds of church and a quiet late lunch at Ponderosa.
Monday I had the day off and True worked half day.
So Monday was spent moping around with his folks and then we hit the mall to buy Miss C a gift for being so well behaved.
I also splurged on some much needed new outfits for her...
somehow her yoga pants and t-shirts weren't working for sundays.
When I decided to actually face the music and head home...Vader was downstairs in my dad's pad....
I had no choice but to say Hi..since the bro announced our arrival so the whole block knew we were home..
Vader's kiss on the cheek almost melted all layers of tissue and muscle..and you could faintly hear the Star Wars score in the background..
I zipped upstairs as fast as I could, but Miss C stayed behind.
When Miss C got tired of her grandma'...and wanted to go upstairs, I had to go get her.
I thought, this is where Vader is gonna lay it on me.
To my surprise, Vader didn't say a peep.
Not even breathe heavily under her black helmet of doom.
No laser eyes, no heavy artillery. She handed me the kid and went back to her lair.
I zoomed up to mine.
4 more days to go.
4 more days people....
You know where to go to see...and if ya don't...go here.
don't ask me what's wrong.
I have no effin' clue.
I guess sleep deprivation is gettin' on to me.
As long as I don't cut off someone's hand a lá Machinist...we're Ok.
On bits and ends here, I'm scared.
I think I may have lost my sweet tooth during my fast.
I haven't been inclined to eat one piece of sweets...
No ice cream, no candy, no soda, nothing...
Valentine's kinda sucked cuz I have a whole boatload of Ferrero Rocher and I don't feel like eating not a single one...
21 days ago..or during my fast...I would have sold Miss C on E-bay for a Tootsie Roll...
During my fast I talked about how I wanted Cold Stone Creamery Ice Cream.
We went yesterday.
I ate it very mechanically.
It was good.
But I wasn't into it.
IS THIS ONE OF THE SIGNS OF THE END OF THE WORLD???
Everyone says: it's great you no longer like sweets..
Oh Yeah ?? Great for who???
I might have a lunch session with Empress today. A late Valentine's lunch.
I think I need it.
I'm missing our bullshit conversations.
Miss C's Psychological therapies have changed from Friday's to Tuesday's. I've been going on Friday's for a year now. I've missed the past two therapies due to Amnesia. I keep remmembering on Thursday when I pack her therapy tools that they are on Tuesday's now.
I called the therapist to apologize for the 3rd time (I missed the first session last month as well) and she told me:
"Don't worry, I'll make sure I get you into Mepsi (A pshychiatric hospital)"
::insert lame chuckle on her behalf::
Somehow I don't think it was meant to be a joke.
Miss C's school called. She has the runs. Nice way to commence the weekend.
Vader will be landing at the DeathStar this weekend. She'll be housesitting my dad's pad.
I have made sure to stock up on some much needed Paxil, Zoloft and a shiny new Machete.
I think I'll RSVP for a week at True's.
The label on one of the Perfumes True gave me read: Do not spray in eyes. Maybe Harmful.
The label itself is not alarming, what's alarming is the fact that some asshole did spray in eyes, hence the need for the label.
There is a new link in my blog roster...
brought to you by the maker's of This Just In. It's Back Talkin'. TJI is a must on my daily blog reads, and seems like BT is gonna be right up there too. Gnightgirl is very witty...and her look on things, whether verbal or visual (she is an awesome photog) is a mix of funny, sensitive, witty and charming...Go check her out!
My weekend? it all depends on a crappy kid...literally. (see above segment on 'runs')...so I'll keep ya' posted...
Aww...the Kaos has come to an end.
The hearts, roses, chocolates are all over.
Back to reality.
Valentine's was hectic...but in the end it was all worth it.
I've been on call at the office for an emergency trip to the west and after originally thinking I would not make it for Miss C's crown ceremony...the trip was moved for today and I was able to go.
I decided to take her to the office afterwards and spend an afternoon: mom and kid.
It was awesome...
True and I had planned to go see a flick in the evening. Nothing too complicated. No dinner plans, because dinner reservations yesterday were nearly impossible. So we decided a flick and a drive around would be good.
So after work we drove to True's house and spent some time with his folks before True showed. His mom was gonna look after Miss C, so we could spend some alone time and have a nice evening.
True arrived and after he settled down we proceeded to exchange gifts. I had gotten him some nice dress slacks, he desperately needed. I saved the gift receipt just in case, since True is such a picky person. To my luck...the slacks fit and he was delighted...I nailed it.
Whoof...::swipes sweat beads off forehead::
I received a very elaborate, big shopping bag, with tons of tissue, that I had to dive into....
Inside, a big Velvet Heart with a bow...at first I believed it to be chocolates, but the heart was a tad too heavy...
Curiosity killed the cat...I opened the heart to find a collection of Liz Clairborne perfumes....3 to be exact....Yummy!!!!
But there was more...Inside the bag was ANOTHER perfume..from her collection...a special edition perfume...
With proceeds of that sale going to the American Heart's Association Go Red for Women
"I thought you might like it!! and it's all for a good cause!!"
Awww..I'm a sucker for good causes...
So after the mushiness...and card exchanges...(Me and Miss C made handmade cards, which had the phrase "I love You" in different languages) we made our way to the movies...
In the car, True handed me a box full of Chocolates, Ferrero Rocher Chocolates...he had to wait till I got in the car so Miss C aka Chocolate Freak wouldn't see them...lol...
We were a lil' late for the movie we orignally wanted to see: "Pan's Laberynth", so we went to see "Notes on a Scandal" instead. It stars Cate Blanchett and Judi Dench.
The movie is awesome. Judi Dench is a sick twisted woman and the scandal is delish...a must see!!
In the movies we happened to sit next to a couple that we know very well...funny coincidence huh?
After the movies...the couple commented on how happy they were to see us perfom, together (True and I) last Thursday. We were very flattered... I actually told them I admired them..both local DJ's and Hip Hop activists...a truly beautiful couple..
After the movies we decided to go to Old San Juan for a quick coffee run and we talked about how we met...old memories, old feelings...
True was haunted by the fact he didn't speak his feelings way back when we first started to go out...and I confessed I was too...He told me how proud of me he was and that I was a great mom...that his mom was equally proud and happy, and that she too, thought I was an excellent mom. Compliments are grand..but when they say I'm a good mom...that takes my breath away...
The compliments continued....blah blah blah...and we blushed, smiled...blah blah blah
You know..mushy stuff..
After the coffee run...we called it a night...I went to my lair, he went to his...
I spent an evening with my True...and I snuggled up to my Miss....
In a home that had an air of love.
If I could only bottle it up and share it....
I thought you might need a picker upper...
Labels: Silly Crap
Labels: Pics CNC
We have the right to be loved.
We have the right to not take crap from anyone including men.
We must break the cycle of co-dependency.
We live in modern times. We must learn to become breadwinners and advocates for our families and children.
When a man yells at you or degrades you in ANY shape, form or fashion, something needs to be done.
We, and I include myself, need to work with our self-esteem and need to look at the big picture.
Some things cannot go on.
There is only a certain amount of pain we can endure before we reach our breaking point.
I've been observing this pattern lately. A pattern two people I know are going through.
There is one particular person who I know personally and is very close to my heart.
She needs to breakaway.
Scumbags who scream, degrade and hurt,
Need to be vanished.
You need to love yourself.
For so many years I did not love myself and I got into so many relationships that did not do anything for my self-esteem. After a long term relationship, I plummeted into depression thinking I needed a man in my life. Thinking I couldn't do this on my own. And I didn't have a kid yet.
I lived a life where both parents hated each other. Physically and verbally abused each other. I lived running from house to house, running scared for our lives. Living not knowing how much blood would shed.
I lived with words that got us, the children, involved in the crossfire, words that hurt, words that told me I would never amount to anything...
That I was a Bitch, just like my mother.
I lived with parents who never went to my events..never gave a word of encouragement.
Who only drove me into the ground.
I decided I wanted out. I got married.
I lived a good marriage for a while.
Then things turned sour.
Our marriage started turning into what I didn't want.
I stayed there trying to make it work for my daughter.
Scared I could not provide for her on my own. That she needed a man in her life and so did I.
One day. I decided I could no longer do this.
I did my math. I took the inciative. No one thought I had the balls to do it.
Many were shocked.
I got divorced.
I cried. I cried many nights late ...in my shower...with 2 dollars to my name and bills and a sick child...
I wanted to kill myself...I wanted to leave it all. I was consumed with loneliness, with grief...I started to look for love in all the wrong places, I hurt all over, I kept getting hurt.
I gave up on everything. And in a moment of weakness thought I should give my marriage another try.
But then...I really don't know what happened. In a night of complete and utter desesperation, I understood that this was the way it had to be. I had to learn to love myself. I didn't appreciate or value who I was. I didn't think I was capable of doing this on my own.
What happened to the confident debate team leader? What happened to the girl who could take the stage without fear?
What happened to my outspokeness?
Why did I doubt my capacity?
I was gonna do this on my own. I was going to love myself and make ends meet and give my daughter an adequate life, even if it costs me everything I had. I was going to smile and be brave, even if it meant breaking down once in a while in my solitude.
And here I am.
As a song I love says: The moment I let go of it, was the moment I got what I could handle, the moment I jumped off of it, was the moment I touched ground.
Then things began to fall into place.
I decided to put myself where I belonged.
In the top spot.
The breadwinner, the chief of the family, the ultimate mom, woman.
And I look back and think...jeez..how did I ever get through that..?
How did I ever crawl from that dark cave?
How did I ever survive?
Deep down inside, I really have no clue. I guess I never stopped believing afterall.
Returning to the original purpose of this post.
We live in an era of co-dependency. We still are being fed the idea that we need a man in our life to make ends meet. I'm not saying that marriage is bad. I am just saying that sometimes a relationship reaches an unhealthy level and if things can't be worked out and a serious danger looms, we need to build up the courage to know this and get out.
No one has the right to put us down.
No one has the right to make us feel we need to shut up, because voicing our opinion is hazardous to our peace.
No one has the right to place their hands on us...if it is not to love.
No one has the right to take it out on our children.
No one has the right to make us believe we need them to survive.
We need to love ourselves.
and this Valentine's..instead of buying chocolates for loved ones (some who don't even deserve it) or cards, love yourself.
understand that you do not need to take bullshit from anyone, just because.
YOU ARE WORTH EVERYTHING.
So..after therapy....I made my way to True's to take a long nap...
We had a quick dinner and got ready for our Saturday get-to-gether.
On the way over we had a discussion over a quick stop to the pharmacy to buy a lip gloss.
See, True is not as steadfast as I when we go out. He takes longer and when we are running late...let's just say he isn't the most chipper chipmunk in the pack.
"You can go to the pharmacy next to the church."
"Fine...I'll cross the dangerous avenue"
And hopefully get run over so you will never be able to sleep again in your entire lifetime.
I didn't actually say that outloud, but I hope my deathglare got the point out.
"Everytime we go out it's the same issue".
We tried to kiss and make up and play the happy couple and the rest of the evening we played nice.
Sunday we were back on our routines, church, fighting off a Mad-Rabid Miss C who wanted to take my $20.00 bill, and a flick later on.
Pre-flick, I saw gal pal had been lurking about.
After the flick, I wanted to go home.
So I headed home. True in tow.
We sat and watched the grammy's and it was nice, but something was not right. I was still mad. After slashing my finger up with a knife and rushing to my first aide kit, I decided to level with True.
I told him how I felt. And as soon as he started to justify her, my calm adult approach was borderline 3-year-old-autistic-tantrum-carrie-rage-of-hell.
He was justifiying her.
I clearly pointed out that several people approached me to say her behavior was a bit inappropiate and that made me feel like crap. How would he like it if it was the other way around??
His answer: but she has a boyfriend!
Then she better effin' act like it. Because next time, I won't be so nice.
The gang-banger in me has not been put to rest, just yet.
He thought it was comical that I was jealous.
I was not jealous. I just think it's very dissrespectful of her to act the way she acts. Period.
So after telling me to calm down, saying that I was right, blah blah blah.
I stayed and cried.
I was enfuriated.
Was I over-reacting?
Or was I right?
Whatever the case, I was mad as hell. I was upset. I kept hearing him justify her and it made my blood curl.
True called me during my weep-fest.
"Don't cry...I love you. You are right and if you see anything strange, let me know, you are on the outside and maybe you can see stuff I don't...I love you, really I do".
And we called it a night.
I feel more relieved, but my weekend was stressful and I am not the kind to let my guard down.
So I'll be watching you my pretty...
The weekend started early.
Thursday to be exact.
Thursday was the show.
It was packed. It was good.
A nice mix of old friends, good music and fun.
Except for two tiny teeny details.
When it was my turn, I froze up on a verse. I went blank.
*gasp gasp gasp*
*think think think*
You'll see the beautiful video.
It was horrible.
But people applauded and I got my shizz together.
I finished as I could and good bye stage for that night.
The second tiny obstacle.
Was a gal pal.
A gal pal of True that was getting on my nerves.
She spent the whole night taking pics and being all lovey-dovey.
She ignored me all night and at the end, when she didn't have a choice she finally said hi.
Me and C were having a hard time containing ourselves. We both wanted to scratch her eyes out.
But I had to play nice.
I could take her little comments, her smile, her hugs...but she was starting to get on my nerves.
At 1am, after a drunken guy, a friend of the gal pal, took the stage and stammered the intellectual lyrics:
"Plo Plo Plo (trying to immitate gun fire), my kung fu style..blah blah"
we called it a night.
But as we were pulling out...gal pal made a run for it...tapping on the glass..
"You're leaving without saying goodbye"
Mind you her boyfriend was there.
I gave my best unapologetic smile.
which translated into: Haven't you had enough?? You spent the entire night on stage...taking his pictures, you hugged him...you've been all night on his grill...give me a break!!!!
But I remained calm..and I played nice.
"I'll stop by your job to buy some Cd's soon"..
Thank God True left right then and there.
I didn't say anything to True.
I didn't wanna spoil his night. Even though mine's was.
I spent the night. I had asked for the day off and while True worked, I spent the day with his mom. Later on I took Miss C to Chuck E. Cheese to spend a lil' mom and daughter time....
It was nice....It got my mind off chopping heads for a while.
Later we stopped by Vader's.
And I was quickly reminded why I don't go as often..
I quickly fled to my weekend home..True's.
While True was at Church, so I just chilled with my In Laws...who always make sure we are having a good time.....
Around 1am..we called it a night....
And I was still holding in Thursday's anger...
Miss C is in love.
God help us all.
Why did she have to fall into this pit of grief, sorrow and heartache...??!!
You are only four!!
Besides..I already had someone for you to marry...Aimee's Adorable Son...
Seems like there is a new boy in class. A cute lil' new boy. Seems like they both hit it off.
He's a bit younger....Miss C is regular Demi Moore(I need to stop letting her watch E! while I do my toenails)...and he is adorable...
From what the teacher has told me, they are very similar. They share similar interests and share some of their similiar disabilities.
As the teacher would put it: They are both very Picky-Smicky...they like everything nice and neat and clean...
Great...and Obsessive Compulsive Match made in Heaven..
Bring on the Paxil's.
They sit next to each other, they eat together, they play together, they hold hand and in the afternoons they sit and watch movies together. Inseperable.
This, is all new to me. You see, Miss C is not a very buddy buddy type of gal. Sure she sees kids and plays with them, but for the most part she rides solo or isn't really attatched to any child friend in particular.
Here's the shocker...it seems that during recess...Miss C was getting all obsessive with her new buddy...she wanted him to go play with her.
But New Buddy was getting an early women-need-to-chill syndrome. He didn't wanna play with her. He didn't even acknowledge her presence....
Typical Male Species...He went to go play with the boys...After all was said and done, and they were leaving recess he came back and tried to hold Miss C's hand..
Miss C wasn't having it.
That is my girl, well taught.
The teacher said, she couldn't help but laugh when she saw the scenario.
Miss C was pissed and she remained pissed for a while....until snack time came...then she opened her lunch box and shared her juice...
Everyone stared in awe, seeing Miss C actually share her Holy-Grail-Sacred-Snacks...
Then they trotted off to see a flick...
I just love it when love was so simple and uncomplicated...
Valentine's is sooo overrrated..
I dislike Valentine's...
I was in the Valentine Card Section the other day....(ironic, huh?) and did you know they have cards for Grandparents, mom's, nieces, pets..the whole f*cking enchillada??
I remmember when Valentine's was for lover's and couples only....
Now even the neighbor gets a Mon-Cherrie...
My pocket ain't having it...
The school usually picks out a boy and girl for King and Queen...which reminds me...offering a slight parenthesis...it was my official Blogaversarry this week!!!, anywhoot...and Miss C being the only girl is always Queen..
This year they've changed it up a bit...giving each parent like a Bingo Card...with stickers...you have to convince people to peel off a sticker and whatever is underneath, that is the donation they have to make...donations run from 15 cents to a dollar.
I think it's a waste of my time.
I don't have time to ask people for money.
Does the school know our economical crisis?
The few times I've asked for donations I have to give the whole puppy-dog-please-give-me-a-quarter-so-my-daughter-can-be-queen look...
I really could care less if my daughter was Queen or not...
but here they have me like an ass, carrying around my card round' town...
and I still have to buy a Valentine's present for True.
Yeah Yeah..I hate Valentines...but I get sucked up in the Vortex like the rest of you folk....
What to get a guy who is so difficult to buy stuff?
Clothes are like No-No territory.
He is pickier than me...color coordinating even his shoelaces...to an exact tee. Wearing nothing but ironed out T Shirts and clothes, every article of clothing in its place and nothing less...
When a man is pickier than me when it comes to clothes....I worry.
Man do I worry.
He needs slacks for formal events...and Formal shirts...
But dare I navigate the trecherous waters of the men's department..?
I'm a sucker so that means, probably.
Thank God for Gift Receipts...
If it don't fit..or he doesn't like it...he can take it back...
I really could care less...
I've got like 20 more stickers to peel off...
No...I haven't found a cure for Autism...
I still have mad scientists under the grip of my whip working on that in the shack of my backyard...
But, alas, it is the most beautiful day in my life...
I fit into a size 6 skinny leg pair of Jeans!!!!!!!!!!!
I've lost one whole pantsize...
Do you know what that does to my self-esteem???
I didn't have to scream in the fitting room or kill the sales clerk...
I went into the horrid corridor of death aka the fitting room, with a size 8 and a size 6....
I decided to be a fool and try on the 6 first...and to my surprise...
The fit...they fit good..no ass hanging out....they were even size 6 'short' which means I don't have to take them to the tailor to get them fixed...
The only downside...
I had to pay 60 bucks for them...
But alas, Gap...you are the man...and I'd pay any price for a good pair of jeans that will fit good....especially if it means I'm skinnier...
You know what that means?
I have to buy some new shoes to celebrate...
Now, ::ponders:: if only I can do something about reducing my boobs...
::scrapes bottom of purse for change::
Nope...that'll have to wait for now...
with my ass looking so good in new jeans no one will notice the mommy boobs...
Labels: Fashion mayhem
When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a
When I stand up for those I love,
They call me a bitch.
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.
Being a bitch means I won't
Compromise what's in my heart.
It means I live my life
MY way. It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.
When I refuse to tolerate injustice and
Speak against it, I am defined as a
The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish.
It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be.
I am outspoken,
Opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!
So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me.
You won't succeed.
And if that makes me a bitch,
So be it!!!
I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.
B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H - Herself
B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman
B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle anything
Today, we had to take a seminar at our office. Bare in mind I'm the only payroll employee, but the seminar was mandatory for the main contractors, the house employees and me.
Now..I've never been a fan of seminars...and this was not the exception, but the idea of sitting for three hours on our most busy workday, Friday, and not doing anything was good enough to have me convinced. Not to mention the lunch afterwards...
The title: Emotional Intelligence and Partnership
Very quite appropiate for an office who's main leader has ADD, the second in charge likes to spend his time surfing and the secretary has a major personality disorder and shoe fetish.
The seminar was nothing out of the ordinary..and frankly it failed to impress me, like all other seminars.
The only interesting part was trying to prevent my toes from falling off due to frostbite...and the Emotional Intelligence Quiz.
My score: 40
Out of: 160
Suggestions to my score: Please read on the subject matter and get proffesional help.
I don't understand I mean...one of the questions went something like this:
You're with a friend who happens to be driving and someone cuts her off in traffic, she gets angry and starts making a fuss, you :
a. Put on music to distract her
b. Start arguing alongside her to make her feel supported
c. Tell her a similar story that has happened to you and how you made it past the storm
d. or say: "F*ck it...nothing happened..!"
Of course the real answers slightly differ...
I picked B.
Of course I'd bitch right along side with her...
Parenthesis: my boss business partner has just walked in with his "hello my name is" sticker on his forehead...
I can conclude we've all learned valuable lessons with this seminar...
Like for instance...trying not to hang yourself in the bathroom with a shoelace because the lunch served was nothing you could eat due to your fast...
Or learning to avoid eye contact with a certain fellow who is sending you his: OOOh baby..your so hot..looks...without vomiting in his face..
Very Productive indeed.
In other enlightening news, I have my show on Thursday..
Ask me how many times I've practiced ?
Ask me if I know what I'm gonna do? If I know the song?
Yeah..that's the answer..
Welcome to my weekend.
Add a feverish toddler and served Chilled...
Labels: The Office...