well you know I've been brushing up lately on my Autism Knowledge...
I've been reading some new books, deciding to try some new stuff and on my way to become a more knowledgeable parent....
I've just almost finished reading: "Children with Starving Brains" (Dr. Mc Candess) and "A Biological Approach to Autism" (William Shaw)...both books got me motivated to start a supplemental approach with Miss C.
So I went online bought some trial samples and decided that yesterday was a great day to start, at least with Vitamin B-6 and some Magnesium.
I bought chewable wafers....nice tasting ones too...
Hey they taste great...they're small...they come in a cute little tub....fun fun fun!!
Miss C wasn't having it.
She bit, she screamed she wailed.
I shoved the wafer in her mouth, she spit it out, I shoved, she spit, I shoved, she almost chopped off my finger..
I rubbed the wafer on her teeth...I covered her nose so she could open her hermetically sealed mouth.
My dad stood behind me: "You are torturing this child!!!! This is sooo wrong!!"
"I spent mula on these here pills and she's gonna eat em' if it's the last thing I do".
I managed to force down one...I was too beat and too tired to go for another one. She started to force herself to vomit....I shook her like a rattle..."Don't you dare throw up!!! don't you dare!!"
I went upstairs and did what any other parent would do. I banged my head on the door for a few seconds. I am having a lovely week.
Today I felt masochistic.
I polverized the vitamins and placed them in some juice. I tried to bribe her.
"Drink up and get a prize".
I could have gotten her a life-long pass to Toys R Us and she couldn't have given a crap.
We went through the whole scenario again.
the crying the biting the screaming.
the banging head on door.
to top it all of Vader and I had a pro-wrestling match on my parental 'quack filled techniques'.
It went something along these lines:
"I don't agree with that diet of hers. That isn't a diet. It isn't fair. She is sick, she needs food. Pizza isnt' gonna hurt her".
"Yeah...Pizza is great for all kids...all the cheese, the wheat, the sauce... I just have Miss C climbing up walls for another week and a half....I love being a wicked mother and not allowing her to have any fun. Who gives a crap if she doesn't get any better, let her swallow donuts by the dozen!"
back to this morning...
I took her to school, she rolled her eyes and gave me her best: Drop dead look.
tonight I'm on the same plan.
She is gonna take those vitamins.
someone is gonna have to give.
and it ain't gonna be me.
lack of sleep
waterproof mascara that stings eyes....
nosy people sticking their heads in my office...
bad hair days
having the immediate solution to something and still not knowing what to do.
wanting to bang my head on my desk and not being able to do so.
seeing an add that read: "now you can scream through email". Really???
hot sticky weather.
the person who pays with pennies at the tollbooth.
the same person who doesn't know how to add properly, causing major jams at the tollbooth.
people who say I'm 'fat'.
Vader and her parenting 101's
people who think I'm their gopher.
the Sahara dust that is causing all types of allergies.
the New York Mets.
the spoiled brats on my Super Sweet Sixteen.
Their stupid a** parents.
did i mention rotten attitude?
MY rotten attitude.
sucky sucky days ahead.
it's raining, I'm starving, I have no Death Van.
I am awaiting my prince Charming to come in the form of True to pick me up and take me to a far far away land to eat at least a double bacon cheeseburger.
Yeah. I need the fat.
I'm sleep deprived.
I have waaaay too many things I've said "yes" to.
But Gosh darnit I'm gonna do it.
The Emergency Broadcast System has just announced sudden flash flood warnings in effect.
that means, we'll be driving by pools of black water on our way home.
she's a coniving one.
She hides toys in her pockets, hands and pretends she has none.
Shows me her hand empty....
"No, not that hand...the other one".
She gives me the "damn, my mom is waaay to bright".
yes I am.
I had brownies in my fridge and did not bring them to work.
Did I mention I was hungry.
Did I mention that for the first time in 10 years of living in my house, some crackhead....yes I said crackhead, he happens to be a crackhead, cokehead...addict, jumped over our gate, broke into my brother's girlfriend's car and stole her radio???
I guess leaving my dvd player, Ipod and purse on my passenger's seat is out of the question now. So much for only putting one lock on my door.
But did I mention that my bro, went to the 'spot'..you know, where the dealers do their thing, to search for the CH (CrackHead) and found him.
Asked him about the radio....
Guess what the CH told him??
"I'll cost ya Five Bucks".
He is also business savy, the punk.Maybe he'll make the next Apprentice: CH Edition.
Just as bro was gonna clock his arse, he got away and ran into some bushes, cops couldn't reach him.
Vader is worried.
Bro has spent too many night in the backstreet with the hoodlums, bringing on heat from the cops...
Ricky Martin in the South Bronx, or in Puerto Rico : The Perla...
It makes no sense.
It just draws attention and brings danger.
They could easily slice his arse and have him for breakfast.
A lá Hostel.
So that is my day.
Oh...spent it with True's parents. Nothing fancy. Just chilling.
Gulfing down Oreo Milk shakes...putting on the pounds.
I need to start Pilates.
I'll do that right after I've eaten a cow later on.
Today me and Miss C are in the Main Story of our Newspaper....
Here is the online version:
There is also a cute pic!!!!
We are on it, because I wrote a letter to the newspaper because Miss C isn't going to school because the bus drivers are on strike because they are still owed money from 2005 and are not getting paid.
What I didn't know was they were running a story on that situation in today's paper and a newsreporter called me to interview me.
The government is in a economical crisis and the governor has decided to shut down all agencies he deems are 'not important'.
Like therapists, bus drivers, asistants, people who take care of the elderly and sick.
Yeah...soooo not important.
The reporter asked me what I would like to say to the governor.....
I told him do you guys use *beep* *beep* *beep* in your texts?
then tell him this...
It's sad that they use our children for their political campaigns but when a crisis strikes, our children are the first ones affected.
Go Vader, it's your birthday...
Go Vader, it's your birthday...
Go Vader, it's your birthday...
It's Vader's B-day..I have a conflict in schedule so I'll have to split myself open in two parts to make everyone happy.
I don't have a mushy post for you.
Or maybe I do.
but here goes.
Vader, I admire your strength and all the hard work.
Working two jobs when Vietnam decided to not work, in order to put food on the table.
Not knowing English, getting abused at your job, having someone steal your purse and all other crap, so that your kids could have their Nintendo for Christmas.
Thank you for letting us know that sometimes we couldn't have all the other stuff the 'cool kids' had, but we had 'nice clothes', shoes and a roof over our head.
Thank you for sticking up for me in school when teachers mentioned I had a 'slight' disciplinary problem....when actually it was that certain teachers were plain arses.
Thank you for pushing me out of my house and having me sleep on the cot of strange home in order for me to grow up, accept my responsability and become a woman.
Thank you for trying to understand that I am an adult.
Thank you for keeping quiet even when you don't agree with my things.
Thank you for scolding me and not accepting some of my things, because I pushed harder and harder to accomplish goals just to rub it in your face..and then finally you were proud.
Thank you Vader.
I have grown to respect you and the distance between us know has provided a healthier , saner enviroment.
I love you.
You are a brave woman.
And a special mom.
is brought to you by:
things that have made me laugh, get upset, and totally lose my effin' head...
1. Miss C has been the turbo route of passing gas. Let's just say, this isn't her 'normal' behavior...she has low gas rates....but this weekend it's been hideous...only a mother's love could stand the smell of a child passing gas with the potency of a 60 year old man who has eaten baked beans....
Last night as I walked in the room that smell hit me.....
"Miss C!!! Did you pass gas??? (I don't use the word 'fart', but Miss C already knows it)"
"Are you sure??? Because it stinks in here!!"
"No mommy...Miss C did not fart, ::she then grabs her butt and continues:: this is not functioning...does not function".
I don't know why I laughed so hard, if it was the fact that I falsely accused her and she defended herself, or the fact that she actually used the word 'function'.
2. Upset factor: there are a lot of things I can mention here in number #2, but let's just say...I'm dead broke this week and I think I'm gonna go and sell some of Miss C's Pet Shop toys at the stoplight...
Ok. not really. But between her b-day, vader's b-day (which is today), father's day...a kiddie b-day on saturday...I'm stressing......
3. Losing my effin' head: Why, why oh why, oh why, oh why, do senior citizens insist on working. If you are on Social Security, why oh why oh why do you do this to me. Why are you working the Cash Register at the pharmacy at 8:55am, when I clock in at 9am?????????
There was a line of about 6 people....and this little old, cute lady with her hair and makeup in place...(she actually looked like a LEGO person, you know, the kind you can remove their hair), her hands were trembling..she couldn't get the bags open to place the customers things in, people were questioning prices, she was squinting her eyes (with glasses on) to try and see the monitor....
It was excruciating.
when we walked out, True looked at me and quoted the lines of one of my favorite rap songs:
"She'll kill ya with ther Slo-mo"
Bejeezus.....I thought I was gonna hit retirement in that line!!!!
Labels: Thurday's Threesomes
This is an event I'll be participating in on Friday.....My name is on the flyer...I ain't saying which name it is...but it's on there!!!!
I've got major practice tonight and tomorrow...wish me luck....
In other 'exciting news' this is what we saw this morning...
I need not say that Miss C had a blast seeing this....
thought of the day: Keep the buttering to the bread....
You are 5 today.
Time moves on fast in the retrospective.
But during these five years it's been a hell of a long ride.
Too long at some moments.
You are so fragile still. So small, so thin....so innocent.
You still do not comprehend many social things and still are quite solitary. It pains me to see that we still have work to do.
I feel guilty at times for not being able to give you more.
I don't know.
You are now five, fully bilingual, (although sometimes your jibberish goes in 'full blast mode' and we have no idea what you are saying)loving, manipulative and dramatic.
You have a smile that can light up any dark alley but....
You have also learned to be a coniving, manipulative lil' person.
Saying : "I love you" everytime you see me frowing in despair.
You still have your major tantrums, like yesterday when we couldn't find your toy 'lizard' and you cried and screamed and tensed up your muscles...::sigh:: you even banged on my chest demanding I do something...
Like pull the missing lizard out of my arse.
Days like yesterday are hard for me. I hurt to see you in pain, in that rage of emotions.
It is very exhausting at times.
I've learned to not focus on those times and enjoy the smaller better moments.
Like when you sleep.
Sometimes I lay real close to you to hear you breathe and smell your hair.
Sometimes I take your little hand and hold it in mine until I too, drift off into la la land.
I owe you so much.
You have made me part with my obsessive compulsive ways, at least most of them.
You have made me into a fierce advocate of your rights and the rights of others.
You have motivated me to help other parents who are swimming in a sea of uncertaintly and confusion. Like we swam in once.
Every mother I listen to, every case I see, brings back a tidal wave of hard memories I wish to forget.
But they are there.
Not to remind me of how hard it was.
But to remind me of how blessed we are and how far we've come.
You have transformed me into the mother I never imagined I'd be.
You are the reason why I lose my temper.
But you are also the reason I thank God.
My life would be meaningless without your direction, your infinite love, and blind faith for me.
I have accepted the challenge to be your mom and to embrace you for all that you are, and all that you WILL BE.
You are so smart, so brilliant, so loving, so detail orientated, so talented, that I open my mouth to *gasp* in delight everytime you do something to astonish me.
And that happens nearly everyday.
And it will continue to happen.
There is no doubt in my mind that you will be an excellent Kindergardener and a beautiful 5 year old.
No matter how many years will go on, you will always be my baby.
And I will hold your hand and watch you sleep for many more years to come.
Te Amo Chungui!!!!!!!!
Labels: Miss C
Our weekend....was awesome....Miss C had her party on Saturday and to my surprise lots of kiddies showed up....
I was most thrilled with the kiddies that showed up from her school and her old teacher....I could have almost cried...
Vietnam and Bro to my utter shock also tagged along...
True's parents went...and we even got True's dad to play with the kids....they even made him sing a reggaeton song.....
The most important part....that Miss C had a blast!!!
I'd do it all over again for her.
Later that evening True's parents were over to see the boxing match...we ordered food and had a nice dinner and a cool evening...especially since Cotto won!
Sunday after church we hung out at True's house...slept, ate....and called it a night early.....
There was of course some minor drama like: some ass jumping our gate and stealing my sister in law's radio right from under our noses (my bro's girlfriend), Miss C complaining she had a tummy ache, the Yankees kicking some major ass last night and me fumbling for about an hour because I hid Miss C's birthday presents so well, I couldn't find them....but all was resolved....
Bro didn't sleep, with a bat in hand to catch the thieves, Miss C fell asleep, I celebrated the Yankees win, I found the presents, and we decided we were gonna buy Cujo to keep him in the the carport, unfed in order to attack, kill and eat any tresspassers....in the name of Jesuschrist...
Today is Miss C's official birthdate....Vader, who didn't make it to the party on Saturday is throwing her a lil' souireé today, Shrek themed....so we're chilling out there tonight.....
Labels: Weekend Recap
Yeah...it's like that...
Friday's Four has now turned into Thursday's Threesome.....
Today I bring to you : The Three Things that have Me on the verge of a Nervous Breakdown...in no particular order....
1. My stuffy/runny nose....homegirl either your stuffy or runny..you can't be both..but ultimately my nose has a mind of it's own and has decided to be both...who did I get my nose from? Miss C, who's constant germ-spreading actions (like not covering her mouth up when she sneezes or slobbering me with germ-ridden saliva) have contaminated my inmune system.
2. The Birthday ....Miss C is turning 5 on Monday....be tuned for a mushy mushy post...I am not big on parties, especially kiddie parties. Those readers who've been following me for quite some time, know this for a fact. But alas, I've decided she is big enough to understand the concept of one and enjoy one, so I've decided on something small at a local Mickey D's...two hours, no cleaning and everyone hits the road after that..no clowns, no entertaining on my behalf....
Yeah....I dislike kiddie parties...
If it is all planned out, then why am I so stressed you might wonder?
Well, because I fear a very small quota of people who I invited. So once again, Miss C will have a party sans children....
She is not quite the social butterfly I thought she'd be.
3. The yankees
I do not need to elaborate. Go to the standings and see where we are at.
What three things have you on the brink of Crisis Mode this week?
Please share so I won't feel that much pathetic...
Labels: Thurday's Threesomes
speaking of Blah Blah Blah's....
that was it...
Blah blah blah.
I need a bed. a day off. a Dr. Pepper.
Whichever can be prescribed quicker.
I'm in a crankypants state.
it has something to do with the idea of losing your identity.
I'm not saying I'm losing my identity.
But lots of things have got me thinking.
As I smoothed out my hair...yes, my hair, with the tips of my fingers, I gasped out loud, in the realization that so many things have come to pass.
where is the line of your makeover and your takeover?
where is the line between the things you've wanted to change and have, and the things that have changed on their own and kind of crept up on ya?
change is good.
we need evolution to prevent extinction.
but sometimes the line is so thin. so waiferly thin that you are practically skating on thin ice.
and deep down inside you know you'll fall through.
I know if may seem like a bit of a ramble. But seems everything is in constant change. I probably had never noticed it until now. Where were you last year at this same exact date and timeslot?? What were you doing?
Me? Recently divorced, coming back from Florida, dating "A" and having no clue as to what to want for me and my life.
Funny how much a few months can change things.
Some people state that not all change is good. That when you, "me" or "we" change, we are selling out. Usualy this happens when the change is good.
You don't usually see people complaining about how you've changed when things are messed up.
And that's when you drift.
that's when you don't know how much is much.
how much change is coming from you, and how much is induced.
how much of your identity do you want to compromise for this change?
how much are you willing to pay to get to the spot where you 'wish' or 'think' you should be or deserve?
yes. I'm rambling.
but my brain has been on full head on ramble mode.
I've noticed all the changes around me and it has got me thinking, how many people and situations are changing simply because people want them to, and how many are changing simply because 'we' feel obligated to change them?
My mom has left my dad. That change was because she wanted to.
My brother quit his job unexpectedly and went to go work with his girlfriend. In part I think he wanted to, but I think part of this change was induced, by people telling him that 'change is good'.
Miss C is off to a new school. This whole scenario is completely induced. I'd keep her in that school forever and ever and ever...but everyone confirms that once again 'change is good'.
change is good.
change is good.....
how has change been good to you?
"Miss C!! I swear if you leave one more toy on the ground I will pick it up and....."
::quickly interrupted by the kid::
She places hands in form of puppet and opens and closes her hand like a mouth..
"Blah Blah Blah"
::immediate gesture of opening my eyes as wide as a freezer fish::
"What did you just say?? I know you did not just..."
"Blah blah blah".
I kid you not, I don't know where in hell she learned this.
I kid you not, that I wanted to die of laughter but had to remain firm on my "G.I. Jane" mom look, to prevent this behaviour from happening elsewhere.
"You stop that!! Right this minute!!"
::the kid gives me a huuuuge smirk::
"I gotcha good, didn't I?"
Remind me to have a lobotomy when I mention the possibility of having more children in the future.
Labels: Miss C