It's that time of year folks. The time where we all make ridiculous resolutions to end up not keeping them.
No resolutions for me. Especially none involving food, diets and less chocolate.
2008 was a rocky year for me.
Here are a few highlights:
- Adjusting to a new relationship, breaking up a few times, putting wedding plans on hold, trying not to poison significant other, letting go of being in charge.
- Being a family. Wednesday's at Vader's are my favorites. Nothing like Pictionary with a few good losers.
- Finding my niche in church. Building my relationship with God. I am now fully aware of what's wrong or right. So when I say "f*ck", I know it's really wrong.
- Savoring the Kid's aka Miss C's victory's. Yesterday True scolded her for running and told me, so I told her again, "do not run"....her answer : "Aww man...True told you!!". A year ago she would have had no clue of that, or Santa, or birthdays or any other thing.
- Surviving the Hell of Parenting. Yes, there is a downside. Sometimes I'd wish she'd just fall asleep for two weeks so I can hear myself think. Parenting sucks sometimes, hardcore.
- Loving the Deathvan, even though it has failed me several times. I've learned to love it, wash it and make it happy.
- Being happy. It's hard. I'm allergic to happiness. Severely, like break-into-hives-hyperventilate-allergic. But I'm trying. Yesterday I smiled, of course it was because True mispronounced something. But that's gotta be worth something...right??
- More victory's for the Kid. Big ones...like a landing role in a movie that would win her an Oscar nod and make us millionaires. ........hey a gal can dream, can't she?
- A refrigerator. Nice one. Brand new one. That won't leak.
- A new TV for the family. Mine has been in my living room broken for a while. I've been too lazy to take it to get it fixed.
- Health. Because it sucks to be sick.
- My parents to come to church with me.
- My bro to get married and make me an aunt already. What is he waiting for? For me to turn into Bea Arthur?
- No wedding. I'm not ready. I do want more time with True. More quality time.
- Our church to experience greater things.
- New friends
- THE DEATH OF MICKEY. ANY WHICH WAY IT CAN.
WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR 08'?
I placed a new trap for Mickey on Saturday before I left for True's.
A trap with a huge slice of Pepperoni.
No mouse hates Pepperoni.
I came back yesterday with huge hopes.
To only have them shattered.
Little bastard got stuck in the trap and ate his way out of it.
He ATE THE CARDBOARD TRAP!!!!!!!
What kind of Mickey are we talking about ?????????
Just what I needed.
I am still alive.
I am literally counting down the days until all this mayhem is over and I can get some normalacy in my life.
We had a weekend full of shopping, stores, food food food.
Friday I tried my best to watch Pirates of the Caribbean but ended up having Jack Sparrow watch me. I was out at 10pm.
Saturday we took the Kid to see Alvin and the Chipmunks. Her face and excitement was priceless.
My face was also priceless. I tried to survive those two hours with the least brain damage possible.
Afterwards we went to the outlets in Barceloneta. Outlets without outlet prices. It was ridiculous. I ended up in Marhall's to get a party dress for sunday.
In between shopping Miss C got a few spankings. It is literally impossible to shop with her. But then again I am a masochist. So it serves me right.
Sunday we had a blast at church. We sang, we jumped, we worshipped hardcore. It was awesome. After service the whole congregation wanted to go eat together, but True and I weren't in the mood for eating out with about 30 people. So we skipped out and headed to Denny's.
We ended our night at his folk's place playing Perfection. All of us.
The MIL, FIL and us.
It was good.
If this is a preview of what 2008 is gonna bring, then bring it on!
PLEASE IGNORE MY REALLY BAD SINGING...I WAS JUST HAVING A BLAST...THE CHORUS SAID: "LET'S ALL DANCE IN THE RIVER OF THE LORD!"
Labels: Weekend Recap
Don't ask me what the hell I did...I hit a wrong button somewhere the result was I ended up with my old old first layout and all my old settings gone.
I had to start from scratch and put up my pics, the links and the music player up again.
I had to make a new player because I couldn't find the account information on the old one.
If I am missing anybody's links please advise me....
I added a new song: "Say" by John Mayer....totally totally awesome song...
Overheard on some crack cartoons the Kid was watching this morning:
"A beating heart is very important in order to be healthy".
Ahem...a beating heart is very important in order to be alive....
"Momma, wake up, it's the Holidays! It's Christmas" She whispered in my ear, in English no less.
She woke up around 8pm, very patient, went to the tree and saw her gifts...she opened them with a huge smile. She was delighted.
I even threw some presents near the chimney. She squealed.
She got tons of Pet Shop toys, a V Tech V smile Game Console, new sneakers, "Rabatooie" (Ratatouie), clothes, pj's, the dancing My little pony, Spongebob Operation (which she is terrified of) and lots more.
I got a wonderful, much needed Elizabeth Arden Makeup Kit from True.
I got clothes from my mom and candles from my bro's girlfriend.
We spent the morning at home, had a huge breakfast, pizza for lunch and then headed off to True's house. We spent the afternoon with his parents then headed out to Vader's in the evening.
There Miss C had a blast, bro and girlfriend went overboard with presents for her.
Hasbro should give them a prize for buying them out. I think she officially has all the Littlest Pet Shop collection.
We all exchanged gifts, then sat down for a little Pictionary. We giggled and almost wet our pants with our expert drawing skills. Vader looked on in delight.
Empress showed up bearing gifts for us as well.
She looked at us playing and said: "You guys look like the wholesome all american family".
That was the nicest comment I could have received that night.
Pictionary, good food and an almost normal family.
Now if I could only fast forward New Year's Eve and The Three Kings Day.
"Here's your present, put it under the tree!"
I immediately shake the box True has handed me.
"Don't shake it and don't cheat. You can't open it till Christmas".
It was a rectangular box with a huge bow. The bows that the people at the Walgreens gift wrapping station make. The gift station that wraps up perfumes.
"You didn't get me another perfume? did ya?"
"Maybe!!?? I told you NO perfumes. I have zillions of little bottles on my dresser. I don't need, I don't want another perfume".
He looks dissapointed.
"But, I didn't know what else to get you".
"But, why on earth did you ask for suggestions??!! I told you cd's, dvd's, new covers for my van, shoes...but not ANOTHER PERFUME!".
True had given me perfume for my Birthday and then for Valentine's he bought me, not one, but 4 perfumes.
Vietnam also gives me perfume for Christmas.
If I get another Eau de Toilet I might just go to the toilet.
"But...but I think you just might like this perfume!"
"No, No, No". I put my head down on the bed. I start to whine.
"Take it back...if it's a perfume, take it back...in fact, if it's a perfume you aren't getting your gift".
"What???!!...ok, ok, ok, I lied. It's not a perfume".
"But it looks like a perfume box, with a perfume bow".
I make him swear to God it's not a perfume.
He crosses his legs.
Swears it isn't.
Santa is a very cruel man and if it is a Perfume I'm officially banning the Holidays.
Do you have a gift you hate to get?
"Momma, " she sticks her head under our chimney..."Santa comes down through there..He does not come through the doors and windows!!"
"Momma, we have to leave some cookies and milk for Santa.." pause..."No...no milk, just leave him some water".
"Momma, did you know Santa comes on Tuesday, and he is gonna take me to the beach?"
The beach?? Well I guess the old guy would want a vacation after having his slaves..err elves make zillions of Ipods and electronic devices for minimum wage.
We are heading off to Vader's tonight...nothing fancy...just us and good food.
Miss C is anxious to get her gifts...she is happy and excited. It's the first year I've seen her so thrilled....she is soaking everything up....
I'm putting Ebeneezer away for today, for the sake of the Kid. Just for the Kid.
Happy Holidays to all!!
Well more like Little, black and white polka dot dress.
That's what I could finally find to wear to my church's X-mas party tonight.
As I was trying on dresses on my lunch break I finally realized why I bought jeans and shirts to wear for Christmas:
All the dresses/skirts this season are balloon type outfits.
Believe me, you do NOT wanna see me in a balloon type outfit.
Never mind the fact that I was trying these outfits on while still in my shoes.
I suck at dressing room etiquette.
I was exhausted. I was lamenting. I had tried on a great dress a few weeks back at The Gap, but didn't wanna plunk down the $70.00 for it. I should have. It was a great dress. Now, at this time, I wouldn't go to The Gap even if my life depended on it.
I ended up buying a semi-nice fitting dress. I tried to find a picture of it online and could find none that would do it justice. Spaghetti straps, empire waist, black with white polka dots and a black short cardigan to go over it.
Only thing is, that after all the hassle I might not be going to the party. The kid is sick. She has been complaining of a massive headache all day long. I have a babysitter, but my mommy heart would feel too bad leaving her in the care of someone else. There is nothing like a mommy to take care of ya' when you're sick.
We'll see how she's doing when I get off of work.
As for the rest of the Christmas Hullabaloo, well, I don't know what we'll do. My in laws are Jehova Witnesses and don't celebrate Christmas. I do, but ain't in the mood to party. Vader has a gig at her place on Christmas Eve, so I guess I'll crash over there for a bit.
I still haven't finished my Christmas wrapping. Every time I put the Kid to bed to wrap her presents I fall asleep with her.
Maybe I'll explain that Santa is going green this year.
Speaking of gifts, the Kid, ever so smart, found one of her gifts, hidden under my carseat.
The Rat DVD.
"Wow!! a movie for me!!??"
"Hey! Put that back!" while trying not to steer off road.
"No.." she gigles "...I love this rat movie!"
"Put it back..it isn't for you..it's for another kid, a poor kid who doesn't have DVD's!!"
"Oh...Ok...you can get me one too momma!"
Kids can be so gullible.
She put it back.
But I guess that' s one gift that won't be a shocker.
Santa must be really coy.
In spite of the horrible morning, day, week, I tried to tough it out and I put some Christmas music in the office.
Martha Stewart's Jazz for the Holidays
Today was hell.
Heller than Hell.
Miss C screamed, bit, kicked and threw stuff during a whole 30 minutes.
30 minutes may not seem like a long time.
But sitting there in therapy, 30 minutes was eternal.
I fought to place her in the car. She screamed and threw stuff while I was driving.
"Shut up!! go away"
Then she would clasps her hands together...
"I'm sorry Santa..!! I'm sorry please help me!".
midway I had to stop.
And did something I don't usually do when she is like this.
I spanked her.
I felt the obligation to give her a reason to cry.
After that I was happy, even though she kept on with her theatrics I knew she at least was crying because of something.
I just so dislike empty tears.
"Mom...thanks a lot...you just ruined Christmas!!!!!"
Upon receiving a scolding on my behalf...
10 minutes later her screaming was a tad different..
"I'm sorry Santa....I'm sorry Santa!!!!!!!!!"
I spent the whole weekend carrying Miss C around to her AIT: Berard Method Therapies.
I don't wanna be too quick to judge, but is seems like everytime they are done, they hand over a monster.
Yesterday I just wanted them to change her back to how she was.
Crying. Emotional. Angry. Bossy.
She was all this before.
But this time it's like double the pleasure, double the fun.
We got our hair cuts this weekend.
We actually look swell.
Miss C even thought so.
"Momma how pretty we look!"
Miss C wants to go to the movies.
She wants to see "Chica wa wa, Chica wa wa".
I spent all weekend alone.
I spent my Saturday with the kid in the house putting up curtains, cleaning up the kitchen. Actually enjoying the quiet of my home. Enjoying cleaning the kitchen.
How do I know I'm screwed for life?
I actually squealed when I saw that Tilex Mildew cleaned up my sink so purty.
Yep. I'm a mother.
I took a shower put on my pj's and put the Kid to bed.
I then went to the family room and lay on the bed and watched Sex and the City reruns.
I was alone. in a clean house. with a christmas tree. watching TBS.
and I saw the episode called "The Good Fight", where Aiden moves in with Carrie and she is having a nervous breakdown with all his boxes and crap and invasion of her apartment. She has been single for her whole life and has never lived with someone.
They are arguing because he wants her to clean out her closet to make room for his stuff and then his dog chews up one of her $400 pair of shoes.
She screams. He screams.
"Won't you just shut up?" she yells
"Yes, shut up.. All you ever do is talk...blah blah blah...all up in my face, how are you, where ya been? who've you seen? Just shut up!!".
Sometimes silence is golden.
I turned of the TV.
Admired my Tree.
And went to snuggle with the Kid.
"Kid, I'm sad cause' you're sleepin' over at your dad's house tonight. I'll be sad and lonely. You sure you wanna leave momma alone?".
Kid walks over, grabs my chin in her hand, twists my frown into a crooked smile.
"Momma, don't worry. Don't be sad. You can play with my toys while I'm gone".
I think I've said it already, but I really dislike the old guy at the Wendy's parking lot who instructs us how to park.
He whistles to signal not to back up any further.
I'll decide whether I wanna ram my car into the wall or not mister.
I need a trim. A trim during the Holidays. I wonder if trimming my own hair is advisable.
I have electricity in my room. In random sockets. I can turn on my A/C, but I can't turn on my lamp.
Christmas is right around the corner. I did all my shopping in November. Vietnam wants me to go get my sister-in-law a present. This defies the purpose of my early Holiday shopping.
I'm not feeling very Christmasy. But I've been sporting a tote bag Vietnam gave me, which is red with a big snowman on the front. Inside are 5 holiday CD's I've been carrying around. I haven't played one yet, cuz I'm feeling kind of Ebeneezer. I figure though, if I get run over by a car, I have my tote bag with me and people will actually think I was a dear ol' thing.
No cars, no home, not even putting clothes in the hamper, in the end I ask: "Is that love?"
That is a good question Aimée, hell it's a great question!!
Is it love?
Is it love that makes us tolerate these behaviors from our opposite sex?
Or is it fear of being along?
Or is it just things that we've grown accustomed to?
Or all of the above.
When Vader would bitch because Vietnam would be obsessed with cleaning or leaving dirty towels on the doorknob (yes, he is a very odd, extreme man), he would just shrug his shoulders, apologize and do it all over again the next day.
As the years progressed, Vader stopped bitching every day. Every now and then she'd do it, but she kind of just stopped the main dramatic show she used to put.
Her explanation: There are some things you cannot change.
So, either you go with the flow or you die of a massive heart attack?
Is that what she tried to teach me?
I have never been a 'go with the glow' gal. I refuse to believe that: that is just the way it is.
I believe in Pavlov and ABA and all modification techniques.
I believe some things can be changed.
I believe I don't have to tolerate certain things because I love some one.
I believe some people tolerate things, NOT because they love some one. They do it because they've grown accustomed to it or in Vader's case, she feared being alone.
Until she realized being alone wasn't so bad and flew the coop. Now, there is no way in hell she is going back to Vietnam and the life she had.
She realized it was not love what held her in the house. It was the routine, the custom of just putting up with it and being a good wife. In her upbringing women had to be prepared to put up with a lot of crap.
I thank God know that this is no longer true.
I loved my Ex. We had a fairly good marriage, but there were somethings I was not willing to stand for and vice versa. Love played no part in this. In fact the only part Love played was leaving all together.
I put up with certain things because deep down inside, beneath the layer of sarcasm and hardcore bitchiness, lies a woman who is a firm believer that people deserve a break and that maybe I might be too hard on folks. I think, "Jeez Mary lighten up a little".
I don't know if you people are getting this.
It's like my kid for example. I don't put up with her bad behavior because I love her. I don't put up with it, period. If I put up with her bad behavior because I loved her, I'd be encouraging it. Instead, I try to correct it, I divorce myself from my kid when it comes to her discipline. But I don't completely abandon her, because I know that with a little guidance she'll be just fine.
I feel the same way about relationships. It isn't love that makes me tolerate certain behaviors, in fact I rarely tolerate inadequate behaviors all together, but I stick it through because deep down inside I feel that with a little guidance we'll be just fine.
But this all looks much better in writing than in the actual field.
I talk a lot of crap.
Most of it not making any sense.
But as the lovely Tina Turner might say: "What's love got to do with it?"
I think, nothing at all.
Day 3 of no electricity in my room.
My uncle/electrician checked it out. Seems a pipe broke, water came in through the breaker boxes and kaplat. There you have it.
New re-wiring is needed.
Merry X-mas to me too.
We'll see how long I'll last without electricity in my room without killing anyone,
or doing my makeup without looking like Bozo.
I have tons of house work to do, presents to wrap and last minute gifts.
What I really wanna do?
Lay in bed with hot chocolate and come back out when X-mas is over.
That's Ms. Ebeneezer to you.
add up the fact that Miss C is going through some sort of regression, which involves kicking, screaming, biting and calls from her teachers who are puzzled about her behavior.
That's Ms. Psychotic Ebeneezer to you.
So...bah humbug, go kick a squirrel and have a hot cocoa on my behalf.
Murphy is a swell guy. Those who've been reading for quite some time can remember Murphy from various incidents in my life.
Well he was on vacation and decided to visit me for a few days.
I have no electricity in my room, since Monday night. I had assumed the storm had knocked down the electricity in the whole house, but surprise surprise, I woke up and heard my fridge running...
Why is the fridge running if there is no power??
Ha! There is no power in your room only Mary. Oh, and in the laundry where the water heater happens to be.
So no electricity, no A/C and no hot running water.
Not to mention the flooding in my living room do to the extreme raining we've had.
And when I say flooding, I'm talking about a pool in my living room.
A nice little wading pool, in case you feel hot in the evening.
Happiness and Joy people.
Happiness and Joy.
During some portion of the night I managed to scream out of despair. Dramatics have always been my best.
True, unfortunately was on the other end of the line when I did the screaming.
Sorry kiddo. But sometimes it's necessary.
And sometimes Men don't understand.
Sometimes I wish I had a husband who could take care of the electricity, the flooding, the car and the water heater, so I could just sit back and take care of the Kid.
But alas, that is not happening.
frankly, I don't know if I want it to happen.
I just don't think there is any man out there up to the challenge.
Anyone except Ty Pennington and Bob Vila...and Bob the Builder...
If ya fellows are reading...drop a girl a line...will ya?
Got the Van again and I'm churning out my Christmas Carols all night long, decorating and sleeping early.
It's been pouring these past two days cause of a storm that's north of us. It's very uncommon at this season to get a storm, but with all the global warming issues, I am not surprised.
Miss C starts AIT (Berard Method) therapies this saturday. It will ten days straight worth of therapies and frankly I don't know how we're gonna do it, but by golly I got the Department of Education to pay for these therapies so I'll figure out a way.
We, True and I, still haven't figured out our Holiday rundown and frankly I miss the warmth of my lil' bitty house, so I'm hoping we'll get to spend some time in the my crib.
No matter how nice you're treated, there is no place like home.
Speaking of True, we are getting by.
Trying to be civilized and be nice and loving.
Lord knows it's hard at times, but we are surviving.
At times I just feet quite lonely frankly. This week as I was scrambling to try and get someone to drive her to her second section of AIT therapies (they are twice per day), I felt like:
"if I only had family...hell, if I only had a husband who could tell me, you know what dear, don't go to work and take care of the Kid".
but, le sigh, it is not the way it is.
Momma has to make it work.
and at the end of the day, it's momma and the Kid, lying in bed, cuddling up.
I mean, don't get me wrong, True is a swell guy and he helps out.
But it's not the same thing.
He kind of still doesn't get the amount of work I have to do in the house, at my job, with the Kid.
Just yesterday he told me I could stay over at his parent's house if the storm was really bad.
He then added: "I'm not gonna go over cause I'm tired".
I told him I couldn't go over, I had a house to attend to.
Make sure windows are locked, put towels where water seeps in...etc., etc., etc.
I guess everyone can't be happy.
As for the rest of it, Christmas is right around the corner and although I originally wanted a new Ipod (my old one was stolen), I'd settle for new car seat covers.
Cause I'm a soccer mom like that.
What's on your Christmas wishlist?
"Momma!!"...she squealed in pure delight...."you're lips are red!! they sure look pretty!!"
Aww...sometimes they can be awesome..
Labels: Miss C
Wednesday I had to put everything thing on hold because I got a call from Miss C's school that her eye was swelling up.
An infection due to a mosquito bite.
Rushed to the doctor's, left van at the vallet.
Got out of doctor's with a thousand instructions and prescriptions, go to vallet.
Vallet goes to get my car and says, "Ma'am your van is funny".
Funny as in the guy who parked my van yanked off the shift handle. He broke it off, it was hanging, broken.
Police came, we had to file a report, see how the vallet parking's insurance is gonna handle the whole mess.
Ex helped a lot. He swung by the hospital, lent a hand with the van, gave me a ride.
True took me to the pharmacy to get the Rx. And this is where it gets better.
True is in the car with Miss C who is crying. She's tired, sick, her eye is swollen. I understand her.
But, Pablo, the Pharmacist, did not.
Pablo was an Ass.
"Ma'am your card is not valid."
"What do you mean it isn't valid, I was just at the doctor's".
"The laws have changed and you need a new number for this card. The insurance didn't send you one?"
"If I had a new card, would I be giving you this one?".
"Sorry?? Can't you call the insurance? I pay 180 dollars a month for this insurance, can't you call?"
"No, I can't. They are probably not there at this hour".
It was 8pm.
"Ok, how much is the anti-biotic, cash".
"110 dollars. Do you want it?"
"When can I have it?"
"11pm????!!! Look Pablo, if I pay for it cash I want it now!".
The people in the line were starting to get upset.
I was getting upset.
I could feel the tears in my eyes. I started to ramble.
I demanded my Rx back and I sat down to call the insurance company.
The guy from the insurance gladly gave me the new number and told me the pharmacy was supposed to call and get it themselves.
I rushed back to Pablo. I threw the scrap of paper with the number at the counter.
He looked at it, like if I had thrown a dead chicken.
"The number you needed, now get my kid her medicine".
"I can't have it for you until 11:30pm".
"Pablo, my kid is sick. She has a severe infection. If she does not have at least her anti-biotics now, her eye is going to shut and then it will go onto the other eye and it will shut as well. I need her medicine now!!!".
He talked to the pharmacist and got me the antibiotic.
Her eye drops and her lotion weren't ready until yesterday at 3pm. 3pm!! I left the Rx at 8pm the previous day.
I didn't leave until I made sure Walgreens understood that they are monopolizing creeps. That it is very inconsiderate that a child has to wait more than 5 hours for medicine.
Why don't I go to another pharmacy?
Because Miss C's doctor always prescribes some weird medicines that are never available at other places. Believe me, I've tried.
So now I have a kid who looks like Rocky Balboa. A Van that is not functioning and a Father who insists that I take him to Marshall's, even though he knows I have no car.
Labels: anger management
My weekend had the following in no particular order:
Trying on clothes and realizing nothing fits
Wanting to break into a song in the middle of the parking lot
Rain, lots of it
Bickering, even more than rain
kid behaving badly
opening a car door while it's in motion
getting out of car
plenty of F words
My middle name is now officially DRAMA.
Labels: Weekend Recap