The Ex Factor

Today happened what we all hate and fear in life.

No, I’m not talking about Election Day.

I’m talking about an encounter with your Ex.

Encountering an Ex can be the most uncomfortable experience in our adult lives.

And I’m talking about Ex’s in general.

Ex husband, ex boss, ex doctor, ex mother in law, ex cetera.

If this person is your ex it’s because he/she was someone in your past, and if he/she is your ex, it’s because something happened and this person is no longer in your life or your present.


I found myself doing a little grocery shopping (I should say a “lot” of grocery shopping because of the bill that left my account on empty) and just three cashiers away, in the 15 items or less register, there he was. The Ex.

I thanked God for those two extra cans of beans.

The Ex boyfriend from High School. My first real love.

The one who make my heart flutter. The cutest, most proper boy in school. The one all girls wanted in 10th grade and out of all the girls he could have, he got me, the tomboy straight out of hell. I ended up being the recipient of all the Sad Sam plush toys, the Mon Cheries and the visits to my house.

He was also the one who got his heart broken by me and later vice versa with a small comeback during our Senior Year. He was also the one that dated a younger girl during said year, making me wanna scratch her eyes out.

Yuck. High School was so dramatic.

After our graduation I had seen him a few times, nothing long, some light flirtation, but nothing serious. After that I had always dreamt of seeing him again. Once I bumped into his sisters and I was, let’s say, in not such a great shape. I had to redeem myself.

I dreamt of bumping into him with Miss C in my hands, very nicely mannered, dressed very cutely and my chunk of engagement ring on my finger, not to mention 10 pounds lighter.

Today was not that moment. Due to the bad weather I had opted for a horizontal striped shirt. Me, being the fashionista that I am, knew very well that horizontal stripes were a killer no-no. I had some faded jeans, boots, hair all messy and no make up at all. And over all things, I had left my ring at home.

It was the re encounter from hell.

And let me just add, I feel nothing for my ex, I had no intentions of anything, but I wanted to be seen and say “See what I’ve been up to?”

Don’t give me that look, deep down inside, or right on top you think just the same.

I looked at him from afar. I became falsely entertained by some chewing gum that promised brighter and cleaner teeth. I hid behind the magazines in the register line, looking like a bum. He was paused in time, looking just fresh out of high school. Mr. Burns and him must drink from the same tap water.

I observed him while he checked out his few items. I couldn’t see exactly what he bought; maybe if I did I would have had some insight of his new life.

He left. He didn’t see me or if he did, he pretended not to. If that was the case, thank the Heavens.

After that incident I hit up the house of a very almost ready to burst Empress for some comfort food. Lord knows I needed it.

He was shopping in my zone. That supermarket, that whole perimeter was now a danger zone.

Now I’ll have to do my hair.

Tonight I’ll sleep with my ring and I swear on my mother’s life that I’ll smear on some lipstick and even if it pours tomorrow I’ll get all fancied up because I got a good looking boyfriend, a nice kid and that I’ve got to show off.

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