Never saw it coming

So I’ve been missing in action.

I guess I have.

This weekend was the most wasted weekend in my life. What started as a laid back weekend, with a nice quick dinner and movie night, ended up in hell.

Attitudes clashed, feelings were hurt and on Saturday I made my way back home, alone. No True in tow.

On Sunday the battle for whohastheworseattitude continued and in an unprecedented move, unexpected by anyone, I broke up with him.

Like that, over the phone, done, kaput.

Two years down the drain.

I was tired, he was tired. Both unhappy. Neither willing to settle down. Me tired of having to sound all the time like the crazy psycho girlfriend who just pulls things out of her ass, True tired of being the laid back boyfriend taking it all in.

Failure to communicate.

The week began with the uncomfortable task of giving back things that lingered in each other’s houses…books, cd’s, etc.

Uncomfortable text messages, messenger chats…because that’s how messed up we are. We cannot carry on a decent conversation on the phone or in person.

I spent the week at Empress, cuddling my niece, relaxed. I wasn’t upset one bit, no tears, no nothing. I have no idea what that lack of feeling means.

He then sparked up my anger by removing his ‘engaged’ status on the ever so public facebook, ignoring my previous plea of being discreet and not making this a public announcement.

He went from “engaged” to “single” to “it’s complicated”. I went to no status at all.

I dodged questions from fellow facebook friends. My status is no longer for public consumption, even if I ever get back with True again or any one else.

We’ve spoken this week, even had lunch. Civilized. Shared some nice things.

I don’t know where we stand. I don’t know if we stand at all. And I don’t think I even care to know. Things are as he best described: complicated.

And my main focus is trying to get myself back, catch up on some good books and major aunt and niece bonding…everything else will just have to find it’s way back if it can….when ever it can…if it will.

But I’m good.

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