It seems that I am always lacking time.
I manage my time fairly well, but I'd love to have more time to do some of my personal favorites, like write, create, relax...
I run the house like Hitler ran his people...fist of fury...chop chop!! time's a wastin'...
But alas, Insert Sigh here...I'd like to have more time to run the house more like Maria in the Sound of Music...running through the hills, making clothes out of curtains...rowing a boat....
What would I do with more time?
- I'd finally finish the table I started on a year ago...it's a beautiful collage top, but I haven't had the time to finish it up...
- I'd get to writing for my album...
- I'd go downstairs and clean that spare room. I fear of what may attack me one night with all the obscure junk in there.
- I'd hit the beach. I am white. Very white.
- I'd take a photography course...
- I'd finally paint the bathroom
- I'd do the famous children's collage I've been promising everyone for the past year
- I'd sleep...but with yesterday's episode, I'm rethinking this item
I went home early yesterday. I was tired and my head hurt and I needed some much needed rest after not sleeping on Sunday night due to a nightmare I had that involved Vietnam's death.
As much as I dislike the poor fellow at times, I don't want him to die anymore.
I came home and decided to have a much needed nap.
After said nap, I picked up Miss C and did my night routine: homework, dinner, baths...
The problem came went it was time to sleep.
I could not sleep.
I kept wrestling in the bed.
I don't know if it was the fact that I had taken a nap or the fact that I has just finished watching The Science of Sleep.
I kept having weird dreams...I kept wrestling in the bed...kept looking at the clock...
My mind would not stop...songs to write came in my head...ideas to create...projects....
I stripped myself of my pants in the hope that I could fall asleep.
Miss C was having a similar night as well.
I kept pushing her little butt off me, she kept grabbing my hair, my hand...
by the time the alarm went off at 6am, instead of being exhausted, I was actually very awake, thrilled, alert.
I don't know if it had to do with the fact that I didn't sleep at all.
But I'm here...
alert and might I say "chipper".
all is good.
19 more days till Spring Training....
Last year at Yankee Stadium....
First Season Game: March 31st....
I'm going to New York this year...to watch a game in the House that Ruth Built...before they move to their new stadium...
I don't know how...but donations gladly welcomed....
Ahhh...::sniff:: the smell of the fresh turf....
I've been in sort of a fashion slump
dump these past few weeks.
Fashion slump as in wrinkled outfits, mismatched wardrobes, repeat jeans mode.
Today I about had enough.
My shoes were paying the price of my laziness.
I got fancied up today. Nice skirt, nice blouse and wonderful shoes!
Someone actually honked their horn at me today. I'd like to think it was that I looked nice and not that I parked in the middle of the lane to drop the Kid off at a school.
A girl can dream now can she...
Now if only I can look fabulous tonight without giving the impression that I was trying extra hard to look great on purpose because I'll be seeing some people (The Friend) who make me extra uncomfortable and always happens to look fashionably chick.
Labels: Fashion mayhem
I got a msn message from Empress the other days....
Something was found in her breast.
Something not good.
She needed studies. Doctors worried. Empress worried.
I couldn't help but choke back the tears as I read what I read sitting at my desk.
Empress' mom died of breast cancer. My second mom.
I sat in my car that afternoon and cried.
She was due for testing on Saturday.
Results in on Tuesday.
The wait was eternal and horrible.
Tests came back positive.
My best friend is all right.
**Note: positive as in "all is well" nothing bad came up on the results**
She finished her homework, basically consisting of writing a sequence of numbers...
She put her hand on her forehead and sighed...
"I'm finished. I need a drink."
You know what they say: The fruit never falls far from the tree....
Labels: Miss C
Tomorrow night we are going to an event. True is playing and I'm tagging along.
Guess who is gonna be there also: The Friend
I had not heard from the Friend in a long time, but I assumed she was still there, lurking.
We saw each other once at an event and I stayed away.
When I said I didn't wanna be her friend, I meant it.
Word is, she no longer has a boyfriend.
So now I'm really paranoid.
I asked True if he has spoken to her.
In all honesty, he said yes. A few times on msn. The Friend has also sent him messages as to why he is so disappeared...
Let me see...
Maybe it's because he has a girlfriend....
True said he's just been ignoring her.
But the problem is, galpal can't take a hint.
So I told True he is gonna have to talk to her.
Tell her the truth.
Cuz this paranoia thing I get every time we go out somewhere, and she happens to show up, ain't growin' on me.
I got enough to be paranoid about, like no one steppin' on my shoes and looking fabulous...
Saturday was a long day. We all gathered at Vietnam's pad to watch the fight. Bro, his girl, her parents, my in laws...the complete gang.
Only Vietnam was a bit drunk, upset and being a real ass.
I was trying to tie him up and keep him locked away to no avail.
I sat down angry, upset and hurt.
I thought: "The only way we'll have peace in this family is if he dies".
He fell asleep and bothered no more.
Let's fast forward to Sunday.
The theme was: "Asking for forgiveness in order for others to repent".
A kick in the butt, huh? I started to sing along in the praise, then all of a sudden I began to cry...I mean hardcore cry...I had to get down on my knees because I could no longer stand.
Then it happened. God spoke to me. I mean he's spoken to me before but what he said was mind blowing. He began to give me examples of lives he had changed...dozens of examples...then he stopped and said:
"What makes you think your father needs to die, so all will be well?? I can do that. Let me do that. Worry no more".
He took me in his arms and swayed me...he kissed my forehead.
I stood up and True put his arms around me. We started to pray together...the band was playing, the congregation was worshiping...and then we were immersed in the current of the Holy Spirit.
I mean drenched.
I literally felt I was burning up inside, I could not control what was coming out of my mouth.
I was crying, praising, burning up...the works...
There were people around us, praying, singing...I could hear our pastors...it was a worldwind...
I finally fell down...on my knees...a cloak was placed over me...
Then it came...a breeze...a light refreshing breeze...I started to get goosebumps, and I peeked out to see where the breeze was coming from...
It was coming from God.
It was the most awesome Sunday.
I believe in the power of my God.
I believe everything is gonna be allright.
Snap. Crackle. and Pop.
You know those guys??
Well, they have officially invaded my phone line.
I tried slamming the phone up against a wall but that doesn't seem to get them moving out.
For the first time in a long time,
I am going Commando...
I have no plans for the weekend.
hell just froze over a tad.
"Here they were having a promotion thing this morning and they were handing them out, I thought you might like these".
Vietnam hands me 2 packs of Oreo Cakesters.
"I can't eat them. I'm on a fast".
"Well then just put em in the fridge and eat em' when it's over".
He means well, I know he does...but:
ARE YOU SERIOUS..? KEEP THEM IN MY FRIDGE!!!!
To further the humiliation:
"Hey...I just brought over some fresh baked bread, have a bit!"
Has the devil moved in and I didn't receive the *&^%$(*^&%$ MEMO!??
I went upstairs and prayed.
I have a wonderful ::snicker:: sensation of vomiting in my mouth.
I think I just might roll over and die.
Obviously I won't. Neither the rolling over (I'm in a skirt today) or the dying part.
Things are in complete sucking mode.
All I can say is that my sorry ass has been in bed at 9pm on the dot.
I wake up around 4am with the sensation there is someone in my house.
I try to go back to sleep only to wake up very tired.
I was hearing a song today "You are the Sun" and I started to cry.
I feel just like the moon, with no light of my own...trying desperately to face the "Sun"
all will be well, and this too shall pass....
I am so full of glee (aside from the fact that I am going into cardiac arrest per lack of chocolate)...Noemi nominated me for a Blog with Purpose Award.
I am honored and very humbly accepting the award along with a $1000 dollar check and full year supply of Coccoa Pebbles and Charleston Chew's.
If ya'd like to participate here are the rules:
1. Awarded parties must nominate five people who have not received the award.
2. The blogs that receive the award must serve some purpose.
3. In their post about the award they need to link back to this entry.4. Awarded parties
Okay, so many blogs so few awards...
1. Katie Morton. Writer.Lover.Goofball
Originally also known as "Dating is Hell". I have followed Katie all the way from her dating adventures, to dating steady all the way up to her new found engagement bliss. I admire her hard working effort to try to balance everything and keeping us all on that hopefulwave that love can show up for us all.
This is my home girl...and I'm proud to say it...a great writer, even greater fotographer, but best of all she sees the good in everything, her silver lining is my goal...Her only son is out in Iraq and instead of moping around she has started Toys for Troops....to help out the troops and children in the Middle east...definitely not your average soccer mom...
Another super trooper. I found her through and Autism sight. She is a mom of three, one of her children just like Miss C. She manages to make it all work, especially the baking and cooking gluten free, how she does it, I don't know. She's witty, caring, outspoken. My kind of Mom.
4. The Simple Family
Been a reader for quite some time. From the Sarcastic Journalist days...and although she is no longer that, I absolutely love her writing and even more so that I'm trying to be green. I love her tips and they way she balances two young children, writing, working and helping mother earth.
5. It's myEscape
Chelle is awesome. Period. She has some hard times. Sometimes too hard, but she sucks it in and gets through it. She manages to go through hard times with fabulous hair. Believe me, you wouldn't wanna see me in hard times...I love reading about her trips and her insight on relationships and life....did I also mention she is a great mom??!!
This blogger award thing is not fair though...cause you can't nominate anyone who has been nominated...
So I'm giving out extra awards...lol...
Noemi and Yoly
Noemi...how do you manage with all that testosterone in a house away from your native habitat...I don't know...but you manage....and that in itself is great..
Yoly...you have the same struggle I do, plus more kids, a husband and a house to run...no easy feat, but I enjoy reading all about the struggles and the triumphs, which I savor as if my own...
Our congregation started a 21 day fast on sunday. No meats, no chicken, no wheat, no soda, nothing canned or ...jesusholymarymotherofgod......
fish, juice and all fresh is in the mix.
Oh did I mention we can't eat candy.
Monday evening I sat with my sorry looking corn on the cob and a shrunken up piece of snapper.
the bastard shrunk in the oven.
Alas, I was miserable.
And as I was washing dishes my eye got hooked on something in the clear plastic bin where I put Miss C's cookies after mickey's invasion:
A mini-Charleston Chew
Good Lord, I ignored it. I tried to ignore it. I swear I did.
I put it out of sight.
But it was already in my head.
I ate it.
I gobbled it up and begged God for forgiveness all night long.
Well last night Charleston's Chew's ghost came back to haunt me.
I dreamed I was eating those suckers with such delight....
Then just like the John Mayer dream, I woke up.
I got ya' Jesus. I did wrong.
This morning as I was making Miss C's lunch, I found a closed bowl of coccoa pebbles.
Temptation is a witch.
I opened up the bowl....
I took a whiff....
intoxicated my nose with the sweet chocolate scent...
and threw the cereal in the garbage.
I took an apple to work, chained myself to the desk and put a bucket under my chair.
There's a candy dish in the hallway.
"I can't give you what I don't have".
it's not about giving what you don't have, it's about putting other needs before your own.
it's about teamwork.
it's about getting there together.
"There is no I in TEAM".
But there is an I in "I don't need to put up with this crap".
She calls him "my new dad"
I almost burnt myself with the iron when he said: "When we start combining our finances"
When people say "they wanna eat wedding cake"
When I think of all the S.S.B. (Single Social Behaviour) I have to abandon.
All reasons why I stop dead in my tracks and think maybe this marriage stuff is a way over my lil' ol' head....
Labels: Wedding plans
I dreamed last night that I was hanging out with John Mayer and he was my boyfriend.
Then my *&^%$#$%R*&^(^/ !!!! alarm went off.
Talk about a party pooper.
"Momma, look at my picture!"
"Baby, I'm trying to finish up your notebooks for school tomorrow, I'll look at it later".
"Momma, look at my picture!"
"Ok. What is it?"
"It's rain. and Jesus."
"Jesus? What Jesus?"
"Jesus Christ Momma!" (insert duh from daughter here)
"And what is Jesus doing?"
"He is dancing in the rain, he loves dancing".
And with that she left.
We have a dancing Jesus in our house people.
Dear radio station suited for the office,
I do not need to listen to a song and then immediately listen to it's cheesy elevator instrumental back to back.
Blog list is down again...typing it again....bare with me...if there is someone I haven't put up yet, holla at a gal...
Everything else is honky dorey.
my knee hurts, I'm hungry and sleepy.
All is well.
Ever since starting my route back to God, I've been struggling with certain personality traits that really kill me.
- I don't know if "being a Bitch" counts as a personality trait, if so, it's in the top five, fo' sure.
- I am a tad rebellious. I don't like being told what to do, when to do it and how to do it. Blame it on my independent spirit. For example, I don't feel the necessity for me to report my actions to everyone. I feel like when Carrie moved in with Aiden. Every time she'd get home he'd be all up in her grill: "Where were ya, who'd ya meet, who'd you see?".
I said "almost".
- Moody. Very moody, almost bipolarbritneyspearish moody. It's like "Oh Miss C that's wonderful darling...I love you so much" followed by "Sweet Lord!! Can you just go have a spin around the block, grab a drink and let mommy think!"
- Sarcastic. I like to refer to it as witty, alas, other don't see the charm.
- Speakbeforeithink syndrome. I got this one real bad. Yesterday when True asked me if I wanted to eat I responded,
I felt bad after I gotta a look at True's reaction. But also morbidly gratifying.
So that's it.
I just hope the Big Man Upstairs keeps on working with me, cause if not I am gonna have the fate I once predicted upon Empress:
- alone with a cat
things in 2008 that drive me mad:
The Old Guy at the Wendy's Parking lot.
I've mentioned him a thousand times.
But this Friday he really did it.
He's a little old man.
Who watches over the lot. To make sure people park correctly and go directly to Wendy's.
He gets in front of your car to give your driving directions.
He pisses me off.
This Friday I go in to park and he immediately starts giving orders, I pull back in order to let another car get out of the small lot.
He starts barking.
"You can't leave your car there"
"Mister, I'm waiting for the other car to leave so I can park correctly."
He keeps barking.
I get out of my car.
He keeps barking.
"Your car is crooked. You can't park like that, don't complain if some one hits your car...you women drivers".
I did a double take..."women drivers???"
"Hey Dude, you see those yellow lines? I'm supposed to be parked inside them. The car could be upside down and as long as I'm in between those lines, I'm good. So shut it".
He shut it.
I had my lunch.
When people push me to eat.
When I say I'm not hungry, I AM NOT HUNGRY.
Don't keep saying: "Oh Lord you have not eaten...I'll make you something, aren't you hungry?"
NO, I'M NOT HUNGRY.
Thank you so much, but I'M NOT HUNGRY.
When people think I don't have anything to do.
I have a house, a kid, laundry, crap.
I have crap to do. If you want me to do something, give me a hand with my crap.
If not, take a cue from the Wendy's guy, shut it.
The Kid, aka Miss C is in love.
"Momma, we go to school on Thursday?"
"I love my school, it is pretty".
"I like Gerardo".
"What???, Who?? Gerardo??"
She smiles. A wicked smile. A wicked smile children should be giving in 7th grade not in Kindergarten.
"Gerardo. Gerado is pretty and I like him".
"To your room, right now...!"
Damn you Jamie Lynn Spears
"Momma, this is what I want the Angels to bring me" pointing out to a toy in a magazine.
"Angels? What Angels?"
"Well, after Santa, the Three Kings, now Angels".
"Hell to the No".
The Chaos is over. The Holidays are officially over. We had Three King's Day on Sunday and next weekend is Octavitas, but it's all over. School starts on Thursday, yes Thursday and things get back to normal.
I can go grocery shopping without having to kill anyone for a box of crackers.
What I won't miss? The light traffic.
Hellatraffic starts on Thursday.
Can't please me...nevah.
Miss C has a blast for Three King's Day. She put the grass, the cookies, water and juice. Grass and Water for the Camels. The rest for the Three Kings.
I got up at 4am to make the grass disappear and to spread some around in a trail.
"Boy, momma, those camels sure are messy!!"
As for the rest of the weekend, yesterday I had off from work and spent the entire day cleaning.
My favorite, the cooking.
Chicken breast stuffed with bacon and wrapped in bacon slices over white rice.
The rest of the evening went by nicely. Me and Vic (Bro's girlfriend) raiding his closet trying to get it clean and playing V-Smile games with Miss C.
And I've proved once again, that I suck at video games.
Diego was getting his ass kicked hardcore by the monkeys who throw the coconuts.
Yes, I'm almost thirty and monkeys threw coconuts at me.
Britney Spears is in a whole messa-of-trouble.
Meaning her (she is so young still) and her boys.
We'll see what this all entails.
As for the rest of you folks, have a happy weekend.
It's 3 Kings Weekend, the Holidays are almost over....
Miss C is back to school on the 10th, traffic begins, but normality is oh so close!
I'm staring off on a green foot.
Just like Gnightgirl, I have been meaning to incorporate more 'greenness' into my life.
Ever since "An Inconvenient Truth" I've been wanting to do more.
Back in Jersey we used to recycle and not use plastic bags.
Where we live now, Puerto Rock, there is recycling in certain areas only.
My area not being one of them.
So I contacted my Mayor, found out where the drop off places were and decided to start dropping off.
I also bought some cool totes in order to eliminate the plastic bag usage.
I am also gonna get a little cart to tote my groceries in.
Hurray for us!!
We are gonna start doing some damage control...
So...I stopped believing in Horrorscopes. After I returned to church I stopped reading my favorite go-to-for-the-future-man.
I used to swear by Walter I mean I would actually look under my bed to see if this sucker would be under it, because he was right on the spot, allthemuthaeffintime.
But after a while...after a long while...I stopped believing in Walter.
I mean, just look at him.
He's a Man-Gal in a Cape, who's motto is "peace and love".
So anyhoot, every year Walter does his 2008 predictions.
I plummeted under the temptation.
I couldn't stay away.
Ok. I didn't peek. I kind of surfed on through the column.
I'm gonna have a swell year, lots of companions, NO WEDDING.
I don't know if to be relieved or pissed.
What the hell does this Flying Gypsy know about MY RELATIONSHIP.
But then again, I HAVE NO RING.
And to be completely honest,
HAVE NO RUSH TO SAY I DO.
So I'll give it to ya' Mr. Mercado.
Maybe you are right. Maybe there will be no wedding in 2008.
But then again a man in a cape can't have all his marbles in one place, now can he?
They hugged. He took her firmly in his arms and hugged the life out of her. He swayed her like if they were dancing in complete silence. He looked into her eyes and gently kissed her on her cheek and whispered in her ears a sweet nothing that sounded like: "I wanna marry you".
He pulled away to gaze into her eyes.
Her hands went clammy instantly.
She felt the little wave of nausea climb up her esophagus.
Nausea in a bad way.
Complete panic paved it's way.
He waited for a response.
"Did you hear what I said?"
She fakes it..."No"
"I said I really love you"
The nausea crawls its way back down.
This tale is purely fiction. Any resemblance to any one's life....::cough:: is mind boggling coincidental.
We spent the New Year's at Vader's.
True, his folks, Vader, a cousin, Bro and Girlfriend.
And we slightly invaded the neighbor's bash.
They had a live band.
We sat in the driveway with our instruments and played along. Instruments meaning a bucket with two sticks, our big mouths, some bongos and a guiro with a fork.
Eventually they took a break.
A long break.
And waited for us to leave so they could play again.
We had a lovely time.
And while everyone else ate pork, I ate shrimp.
As the clock struck 12, everyone hugged. I hugged Vader.
She whispered in my ear: "I hope I haven't ruined your life too much".
I looked at her: "Not much".
We hugged again for an eternity.
Then we whisked Miss C off to the bathroom since the fireworks made her haywire.
After the initial noise factor she curled up in True's Dad's arms to watch the fireworks and fell asleep.
I hugged and kissed everyone and settled back into Vader's arms.
She looked at me: "Hasn't our relationship improved?"
"Yes Ma'am....Yes Ma'am".
We called it a night at 1am and I proceeded to my first snuggle with Miss C of 08'.
Labels: X -mas
I put a new song up on my player..."Say" by John Mayer
"Say what you mean to say".
I will not be afraid to speak my mind, my heart or my soul.
You never know when it may be the last moment you'll do so.