newsflash

STOP THE PRESSES...

True has said a curse word....

an itty bitty small word that almost doesn't qualify for a curse word, but still in fact, a curse word...

He is human after all.

Tidbits

Things are back to normal on the school front. Miss C's teachers took that day to show their suport for the strike, but are back to working.

Thank sweet lil' baby Jesus.

In other news, we had a meeting today to discuss Miss C's academic future. I was given the nice news that she will indeed be hitting First Grade. But...

Yes, there is always a but.

We still have to work on her behavior. Her behavior has gotten worse after her Auditory Training Therapy. Her language and her imaginations and academic skills have gotten very good, almost above her level. But everything else has gone kaput.

She's obsessive over certain teachers, classmates, she's isolating herself, doesn't wanna eat, doesn't wanna go in the cafeteria, wants to do things her way or the highway, can't sit still, has severe tantrums....and the list goes on, and on, and on.

First Grade, I am told, is much more difficult and competitive than Kinder.

If she has seven notebooks now, 3 of which I've had to replace twice because of all the work, I can't wait for First Grade....

::snicker::

************
One of the positive things we've reaped after Auditory Training is her drawing skills. She used to never draw, and when she did it was barely legible, just a whole lotta chickenscratch.

Well now...she's a regular Picasso.

She does cats, dogs, deer, girls, boys, with glasses, with hats, shoes, hands, spongebob...

She tells you the stories that go along with the pictures....very impressive!

So, Monday when I picked her up at True's, she had gifts for us. A card she made with her very hands.

She handed mines first.

It said "momma" in the front, but inside there were just a whole bunch of blue waves.

I thought it was the ocean, but she quickly corrected me and stated it was a story and those "waves" (stupid mommy) were actually "words".

When True opened his, he had a major drawing...grass, sun, an animal...

I was jealous.

I get "words" and you get a "Monet"???

He was a proud dude.

"Come here baby...why don't you explain this drawing for me?"

"Sure...This is the sun, and the grass, and this is the skunk and these are the farts. The skunk threw a fart".

buaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh...!!!!

A farting skunk.

I was taken a back and tried to correct her, since we don't use the "F" word in our house...we prefer the term "gas"...

but it was impossible.

I had to bury myself in a pillow and enjoy True's deflated face of happiness.

I prefer my "waves" over any skunk.

Any day.

at my door

The strike has made its way up to my neck of the woods.

I was upset for all the other kids who weren't having classes, but thanking God my daughter's teachers were a little bit more conscious and were still giving classes.

Well, the gig is up.

I drove up to school today to see teachers in front of Miss C's school.

Not just any teachers.

Her teachers.

I walked in.

I heard what I knew I was gonna here.

There is no one to take in the kids.

Miss C began to cry. She began to pull on my arm. She didn't understand the commotion, the ruckus.

I took her to my car.
She was visibly upset.

I called my emergency daycare (True's mom/She has a regular daycare but I was already running late and taking her back would have cost me an hour of work).

As I carried her into True's house, her face was disheveled.

Poor Kid did not understand why she was being taken to this house in her school uniform, she didn't understand why we went to school to just stand there.

I stayed a few minutes to comfort her until she eased in.

Now, this is personal. Now this is pissing me off.

Strike

The teachers are on strike.

Yes. We live on an island where teachers go on strike, put caca on the locks, tape, glue, throw rocks, scream into a big ol' megaphone, (during class hours) and basically go apesh*t.

Not all the teachers. Thank God. Just a few.

I'm not gonna go into the details of the strike.

All I'll say is that there are other things at stake....oh let's just say for example rooms of autistic and other handicapped children that have to deal with the noise, the disruption and some who don't even have class due to angry teachers.

Reason #1592 to board a plane to Missouri.

Shapes

So we're doing homework...

Miss C is on shapes.

But not basic shapes...she's like on cylinders and spheres and cubes and such.

I didn't have those things till college...

ok.
I kid.
Not college.
But sure as hell it wasn't kinder.

So she has to identify all the cones from various drawings.

She decides to quiz me.

"What's this mommy?"
"Cone"
"Good"
"And this?"
"Cube"
"Good"
"And this?"

It was a drawing of a speaker.

"Um...Um...sweety, I don't know"
"What is it mommy?"
"I don't know"
"What is IT MOMMY!!??"
"I don't..."
"Mommy!! WHAT IS IT?"
"JESUSHOLYMARYMOTHEROFGOD I HAVE NO IDEA...A RECTANGLE!"
"Wrong...it is a rectangular prism"

Jesus Christ what kind of Kinder Curriculum is this?!

Funny Video on what Mom's Say...

Weekend Recap

Soak in the shock...bliss...of an engagement...look at ring with wonder...shock...amazement...bliss...shock....did I mention shock?

Ran a couple of errands.
Did church on Sunday.

Did I mention shock? Did I mention my pastors didn't take the news as well as I thought? and that Vader didn't either?

Shocker people.
Shocker.

Monday was a Holiday, so that meant I busted my butt doing laundry. Took the kid out to dinner...Bro dropped by with V...and her new Wii...

I played with Bro...as usual, he kicked my butt...
I suck at Wii.

I think I have arthritis.
I sucked at billiards, at the posing game and definitely at Fishing.

I didn't suck though on the cow racing...I kicked his butt...but I think I hurt my wrist in the process.

The night was on the verge of ending nicely until Bro announced he, his girlfriend and his dog were going to split.

Miss C went apetsh*t.

"Leaving?! You can't leave..!!? I wanna leave too!!"

It got worse when I told her she was not leaving and that it was way past her bedtime.

Wah Wah Wah Wah Wah!!
Dramatics kicked in.

As bro was leaving she clung onto his leg.

He looked at her..."kid you deserve an Academy Award".

I managed to pry her from his leg and she looked at me with eyes that could kill...

"I don't want you...I want my other family...I want my Grandpa and my uncle...my other family...Not YOUUUUU!!"

"Really???..well since you don't want me, then you'll be completely satisfied with sleeping in your own room tonight and not hogging the bed or sheets of a woman you consider a stranger".

I started to drag her into her room.

She immediately put on the brakes. She may have been hysterical, but she isn't crazy.

She dropped to her knees...clasped her hands together in prayer-mode, gave me her best pussnboots face and cried...

"But I looooooove youuuu!! don't do this to me....I looovvveee youuu....I promise....I loooove you Mom!!"

She went to my room and after about two more threats she shut up, crawled into bed and whispered in my ear...

"Mom will you read me a story?"
"No"
"Please"
"No"
"Please"
"This is the story of a little girl named Miss C who wouldn't go to sleep and made her mom extremely upset by crying and misbehaving...her mom was fed up and said, 'lights out' and turned off the lights and put her to bed. The end".

"Thank you mom, now I won't cry"


Mommyhood Moments

There are moments where being a loving caring mom, can easily turn into a mommyhood moment, like, oh let's say for example, and this is just an example, I'm not saying that this just happened to me like 10 minutes ago and I'm still cleaning up a mess....a box of 64 crayons, 64 crayons!!! opens and completely spills in your bag, while your trying to find your id in the line of the bank...

Valentine's Part Cuatro

So we're arguing right. We are arguing about the fact that every time a Holiday comes around, he tells me he wishes he could get me something spectacular, but can't. We are arguing because he does not know what to do and all I really want him to do is come over and get this Valentine's day thing over with.

Although deep down inside I wish he'd come with a huge teddy bear and chocolates.

Because I am a hopeless romantic.

"True, you wanna get me something?? Get me a pizza and come over"

I proceed to finish writing on the card I got him and I'm so pissed I only manage to write:

"Thanx for the good times".

Very smooth, eh??

So he arrives, with pizza and chocolates and some votive candle holders with hearts on them.

Nice. But all I wanna do is eat pizza.
He hands over his card. I lay it to the side as I grab a slice, I hand over his.

I'm upset. I'm tired. I'm cranky.

Blame it on Valentine's. Blame it on PMS. Take your pick.

I begin to read his card as I continue munchin' on the pizza.

"God is nice..blah blah..thank you...I love you...blah blah...will you marry me?"

To which I look at him and reply..."Yeah..very funny..."

He's proposed to me a zillion times...but it's all talk...it's like a bad inside joke...but as I started to chuckle...I saw his face.

That face.

He wasn't laughing.
And a small box had made it's way onto my table.

A green round box with a pink bow.

My laughter turned into panic, I felt my face flush.
I felt nausea, I felt like I was getting sick.

"What's in the box?"
"Earrings"

But somehow I knew that box didn't have earrings.

"You can't be serious...this is a joke right?? tell me it's a joke"

I opened the box. It had a very simple, delicate gold engagement ring.

Then there was silence.
I had gone blank.

He looked at me..."I'm bad with proposals, I wanted to take you out, I know this is not the ring you wanted, but all the ones you showed me were on the internet and I couldn't buy them...but...but... but will you marry me?"

I started laughing nervously and I think in some moment between my laughter I said "Yes".

And continued to eat pizza.

More silence.
True was worried.

We moved to the couch. I made a comment on how sappy and cheesy Valentine's is.

"Even if I proposed to you today? it's still cheesy?"

Silence.

"Are you happy??? Do you wanna do this?"

"Yes I do",
in a very convincing (insert sarcasm here) voice.

He went on to tell me how happy he was, how much he loved me, how he was dying to propose, but I was making it all so difficult. He went on to call his parents, who were in on the plan, he wanted me to talk to them, but I declined.

Let a girl wallow in her state of shock, thank you.

I wanted to cry. I literally wanted to cry. It wasn't happiness, or sadness, just plain "Jesuschrist there is a ring on my finger!" kind of cry.

I had wanted this for such a long time and now that I had it, I didn't know what to do with it.

I felt like Carrie Bradshaw when Aiden proposed. She wanted it so bad, that when she discovered the ring hidden in his bag...she immediately threw up....it wasn't that she didn't want to marry him, it was that, this was a big step....goodbye independence...you are gonna join your life with someone else...people it's not the same having a boyfriend as marrying him.

So there you have it folks...karma is a witch...the story of a woman who hated Valentine's...who called it a commercialized monster, and was proposed to on that very day.

.......

PS

As if that wasn't enough Empress got engaged too...on the same day...two women who disliked Valentine's got engaged...












Valentine's Part Tres

Did I ever tell you the one about how Valentine's Day totally sucks, like hardcore, and how I think it's just an overrated commercialized monster that comes once a year to make people feel like crap....??

I'm bi-polar today.
I wanna go home and sleep and not have to hear "I can't fight this feeling anymore", anymore.

Valentine's Part Deux

How do I know today is Valentine's Day?

Well maybe it's because for the past two weeks, I've had a kid tell me, over and over...

"It's February...it's Malentine's Day (Malentines?), the month of love and I love Gerardo"

I got it kid, you're in love...ease it up a bit...

*****

This morning Miss C was sooo happy on her way to school...I was driving enjoying her Malentine's bliss..."I am so happy mom...we are giving out cards at school and candy!!"

Then all of a sudden the bliss was gone...

We were in horrible traffic, the light was green and no one was moving...

"People, move it...the light is greeeeeen!! Why aren't we moving people!!"

Thing is...that quote did not come from my mouth...it came from Miss C...

Where on earth did she get that from?

::snicker::

*******

What to get True...? that was the questions of questions all last week. What do you buy a man who is pickier and finickier than you?????? Add to that, the fact that you're on a very very slim budget....

Well, Holy Little Baby Jesus, enlightened me yesterday...and this is what I got him...



















I had taken these fotos a while back and never did anything with them...well yesterday I turned them into Mosaic's using other pictures I had and had them framed...

I couldn't wait till today, so I gave them to him last night...

He loved them...

I did too...

I also had some done for me...

It was a great, meaningful gift at a great price...

Sometimes we forget that a little personal detail such as a treasured picture, nicely framed, makes a swell gift option..





Valentine's Part Uno

Yesterday our whole island started a campaign that will be running through today (Valentine's Day) to prevent suicides. As some of you may know, many people, sadly commit suicide on dates like such. I applaud the effort and the way they are doing it...the event is called "Don't quit!!" which is awesome and catchy...but...

but...

You know there' s a but in here somewhere...

I don't think the effort will be successful if all the radio stations on the island are playing REO Speedwagon, Chicago, Journey and tune with such titles as "I can't live, if living is without you.."

We know it's Valentine's and all, but even I wanna find a noose with those tunes....

Maybe "I wanna dance with somebody" by Whitney Houston is a better choice...

....
....
....

"with somebody who loves me..."

or not.




Class of 2008

My daughter is not having a kindergarten graduation. She is having a "Day of Achievement" ceremony.

Might as well have a prom with all the mess they talked about at today's reunion.

All year long to plan this event and we had our first meeting TODAY.

Let me just add, I've never been a school mom.

You know the type...the type that hang around school ALL day, bring (bribe) the teachers with junk, avon books, cookies...small talk. The kind that think they rule the school and not the principals.

I'm a good mom. I cooperate, I talk to the teachers, but I'm not a leach.

Well this morning I was in a room of leaches.

"We should do this....we should do that...No no no...we should all meet outside after this meeting for another meeting".

What???

The teacher, God Bless her heart, said "There will be no meetings outside of this classroom concerning this event".

Good.

They wanted a sea theme. The mother's suggested the children get dressed up as sea critters or sailors...

People, I don't have time to go running around for a costume and spent extra money aside from the quota established. Some parents, like me, proposed a nice t shirt, with the theme printed on it...easy to buy, inexpensive.

The quota was established at $60.00 and most leaches thought that was too little.

Are you planning to hire a band???

The parents are going to donate the food, the tables, the chairs, it's gonna be at a park...

There are almost 50 kids...!!!

That's enough to cover for the activity.

Don't get me wrong...I'm not a cheapskate, but I don't think our children want, need, all the frills of a fancy event...they wanna eat snacks and play at the park...

who are we trying to impress????

Oh, did I mention you have to come up with more than half in the next two weeks, plus there is a field trip in two weeks as well...

As soon as the meeting was over I slipped out the door...squirming at the fact that we all have to meet again...::shiver::

The school mommy gene, sure ain't in me.

News

I have no weekend recap. Because all that got blown away by the following phrase:

"You are going to be an Aunt!"

Empress, my BFF, my sister, my sidekick...is preggers...

And I am ecstatic!!!


I guess my fortune telling skills are put to shame...I always predicted she was going to end up alone with a dog....

How does she feel about it all?

"Everybody's getting knocked up, why be the exception!!"

I'm gonna be an Auntie!!

speaking of death

Since we are on the subject of people arranging for my life to be terminated...I stole this little sucker from Gnightgirl:

Writing my own obituary:


Month, Day, 2094

Today, at the age of 115, Mary Poppins, aka Shoegirl, aka E., has left this world to go be with the Lord. She parted silently in her country house in Puerto Rico while dusting off her massive shoe collection, which she also took with her to heaven. She was best known for receiving zillions of calls from Families of Autistic children in need. She also preached about the Lord to her infamous stalker who tried to end her life in 2008. This grammy award winning evangelist, musician and shoe lover extraordinaire dedicated her life to making the world nicer, greener and fashionable. She leaves behind her daughter Miss C who is a veterinarian, her son the artist, and a Pet Cat named Motts. She was a mother, wife, caregiver, best friend to Empress and very fashionable lady.

There will be no funeral and no flowers. There will be a block party in her old neighborhood and only loud hip hop and house music will be permitted. She will greatly appreciated any donations made to the Alianza de Autismo de Puerto Rico for Autism Research.


Photobucket



(if you wanna get a tombsone go to Tombstone Generator.)

Dial "M" for Murder, Part Deux

I had told Vader last night about my stalker.
She was a little more enthusiastic about blessing me and reminding me to keep all my doors locked and not open up for any strangers. She started naming along with me, possible suspects in the case, until I told her I wanted to hit the hay.

Nancy Drew...ahem...Vader, called in early.

"So, did he call again??"

"No".

"Well I have an idea".

::cocks eyebrow::

You don't understand Vader's Ideas...

"lay it on me..."

"Well I was figuring you could talk to the guy when he calls. Tell him that the Lord put you in this path and that you want to bless him and his family. Tell him the Lord loves him and that Christ wants to help him in any way...."

Silence on my behalf.

"Don't you think that's a good idea?"

"Yeah...I'll send him a fruit basket while I'm at it".

Dial "M" for Murder

I have a stalker.
A "ihavenothingbettertodothancallyouazilliontimes
andhangupinyourface"
stalker.

At first I thought it was a mother seeking some help and that she did not want to leave a voice mail. So I called back. No answer. No voicemail.

Then it rang again, no answer.
Then it rang again all throughout the day.

I thought "Ehh..probably bad reception".

I about had the last straw at 10:30pm.

I asked True to call the number from his phone.

A man answered, then tried to disguise his voice.
A smart man who picked up on the fact that I had sent True to call.

Then started to play hang up with True.

"Great, this is just what I wanted to avoid", he huffed.

Thanks a lot sweety.

He hung up.

I could not sleep. I was scared.

I called True, asked him to pray for me.

He prayed all huffy puffy...

"Dear Lord..blah blah blah...bring peace to Mary, let her see your in control...please protect her from the man who is playing a joke on her....please protect her from the man who is attempting against her life".

ATTEMPTING AGAINST MY LIFE??????

What in the name of the Lord does that mean??

A serial killer??

"There, now go to bed".

Yeah...like I can really catch a wink now.
Way to go kid.

Hangover

::ring ring::
It was almost 3 in the morning.

"Can you open the gate for me? I forgot my keys".
It was bro. Gotta love your bro.

I opened the gate and headed back to bed.
Half an hour later we had no electricity. It had been raining...I expected as much.

So I lay there in bed, trying to ignore the fact that it was getting hot. I was laying face up when it happened.

The bed started shaking. I mean SHAKING! Up and Down, left and right. I was rolling (it has wheels).
It was an earthquake.

I could literally hear the earth growling.
Those were the longest seconds of my life. Fear came over me. Fear of God. I started praying. I started crying...and as it got more intense the only words I could muster were: "God Please Have Mercy on Us".

I remembered the story of Abraham, when God was going to destroy Sodoma and he asked God that if he found at least one good person would he still destroy Sodoma, and God replied that he would not.

Then it stopped.
I was shaken. I called True. Poor guy probably almost died when he saw my number at 4 in the morning.

The only thing I could say was: "Pray with me".
He had not had the pleasure of feeling the Quake.

We prayed. I cried.

A Quake in the complete dark.

I called my dad because I knew he was up. He asked if I had a lantern to loan him for him to get ready for work. I went downstairs. God moved me to pray for the house. I roamed the living room with the flicker of a candle and prayed for my dad's house.

I went upstairs and knelt to pray and started to cry.
Never have I felt so sad for my Island and for the consequences of its ways.

I tried to go to bed and I started to praise God...
Half an hour later the electricity returned.

I tried to catch a wink but it was almost time to get up.

I have a huge headache, a hangover of some sorts and I would never want to experience this again.

The news says the quake was 5 point something...felt throughtout the whole Island.

Curiously enough Rwanda and the Congo were also hit my severe quakes, killing a few people in the process.

Thank God it was only my bed.

Thank God.

happy friday to all...

Hello there. I am still alive for all those interested. I've been quite busy with a few little thangs here and there and haven't had much time to chit chat.

I can say that I am still on the Dream/Nightmare frenzy...last night was like my fourth night in a row with crazy dreams...I don't remember exactly but one of them had to do with hard boiled eggs.

Yes.
Hard Boiled Eggs.

If that means I'm gonna win the lotto, become a millionaire and move to Wisconsin, please holla at a gal.

Amongst other things, I got my hair trimmed yesterday. Might I say it looks very cool, like a Marilyn Monroe type look, minus the blond, the mole, the sexy smoky come hither look, the body....

Ok.
So maybe it's not very Monroe.

But I like it.

One little detail, I forgot to mention to True I was getting it trimmed.
He almost had a heart attack. What is it with men and long hair?

I'm hair challenged. I don't have the blow dryer gene, or the styling gene or any other hair gene for that matter.

It's a cute little curly bob, I didn't go GI Jane on him.
In the end, after seeing it, he liked it.

But even if he didn't, I don't really care.
It's hair, it'll grow back.

In what women's or men's department are you challenged??

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