I just saw a convertible BMW with it's top down.
The license plates were from out of town.
Anchorage, Alaska to be exact.
A convertible from Alaska.
?
Call me a little delusional, but I think there is a father at school who is checking me out.
One of those midlife fathers, who drives a sports car and always drives up just as the bell rings and I’m exiting out of the gate.
Let me just add: Ewwww
He’s one of those dad’s who had dedicated the later part of his life to make sure his torso is bigger than his head and that he won’t be able to put his arms side by side because of the size of his “guns”. He also has a punk haircut with blonde frosted tips.
Adding again: Double Eww
He eyeballs me as soon as he sees me and gives me his best: “I could rock your world baby smile”.
I try not to attack him with some Ms Clairol number #2 in dark adult male black.
I wanna scream out to him “What part of me screams out mid life crisis lover?”
So I try to zoom by as fast as I can and try to get in my car to put a abrupt end to his eagle eye.
Sometimes I just wish he were staring because I have some odd stain on my blouse, but is it not the case.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, a small particle of me or of any woman would feel slightly flattered that out of all the mom’s there, because let me tell ya, it looks like a fashion show in the mornings at that there school, someone puts an eye on ya…kinda feels nice.
I said “Kinda”.
Cause I’m not interested. He looks like Malibu Ken and we all know that poor Ken is anatomically incorrect. Very incorrect indeed.
I've been crashing at True's Parent's house for the past week, since my Van is in the Repair Shop, yet again.
True's parents are awesome. They take care of my kid, make sure I eat a decent meal and his mom always makes sure my room is full of pillows and fresh sheets.
What I can't stand: The heat.
The ohmyfrigginlord heat.
The room I sleep in has 4 windows, 3 of which don't open.
True's room has one window, which is almost always closed.
Their living room has 4 windows, which True's Mom doesn't open.
Their room doesn't even have windows I believe.
Their bathroom DOESN'T HAVE WINDOWS!!
And they have no A/C.
I don't mean to sound like a snob but I can't sleep without A/C in a hot as hell house.
And I sure as hell can't shower in that house without going mad.
By the time I finish taking a shower and get dressed in the bathroom, sweat is rolling down my forehead.
And I am NOT a sweatin' kind of gal.
They have a huge gigantic fan they don't use because, get this: it blows air too hard.
So I kidnapped the fan into my room.
"Are you sure you wanna use that fan? It is very powerful".
"Yes".
"I mean I can get you a lighter fan"
"No, don't worry."
"Really it is not a problem, because it blows very hard and we can never use a fan like that. The one in the family is lighter".
"Look, trust me, I appreciate it, but I'm gonna tough it out on this one. I'll risk loosing my eyelashes for a good night rest".
So, it's hot.
Yesterday I commented to Vader how the flesh below my shoulder blade hurts and it is bruised. But I had no idea how. When I went to bed last night, a spring from the mattress bulged out and almost perforated my blade.
Now I know where the bruise came from.
At 1am when I went to pick up True from work (something I have to do if I wanna use his car during the day), we drove home real quick to pick up some paperwork I needed for a psychological re-evaluation they were performing on Miss C today. As I took all my paperwork, I stood in my bedroom and felt homesick. The house already smelled like empty.
I grabbed my pillow and made my way back to True's.
It seems no matter how nice I'm treated and how good I have it at someone else's house, there is no place like home.
A cooler, A/C bedroom, Serta mattress home.
Yesterday a lady friend, a lady friend a tidbit advanced in age, confessed her love for thongs.
Like her truly passionate love for thongs and how she loves wearing them to bed.
Don't get me wrong, I am not against thongs.
I have two or three to avoid VPL (visible panty lines) but I don't sleep in them.
I don't like the idea of a string shoved up my you know what.
I am a very old fashioned traditional Hanes Cotton Bikini or Boy shorts lovin' kind of gal.
Nothing like cotton to keep my lady parts cool.
So I had no idea how to tell this lady friend that I wasn't interested in any more information regarding her love for thongs.
I am open to thong talking with a very select group of gals, it's just not something I discuss while in the dairy aisle in my local supermarket.
What subject do you tip toe around with only a select group?
"Well, how do you turn on the cable box?"
Well, I don't really know but when in doubt, "ON" always works for me.
I am so full of glee (aside from the fact that I am going into cardiac arrest per lack of chocolate)...Noemi nominated me for a Blog with Purpose Award.
I am honored and very humbly accepting the award along with a $1000 dollar check and full year supply of Coccoa Pebbles and Charleston Chew's.
::snicker::
If ya'd like to participate here are the rules:
Rules:
1. Awarded parties must nominate five people who have not received the award.
2. The blogs that receive the award must serve some purpose.
3. In their post about the award they need to link back to this entry.
4. Awarded partiesOkay, so many blogs so few awards...
1. Katie Morton. Writer.Lover.Goofball
Originally also known as "Dating is Hell". I have followed Katie all the way from her dating adventures, to dating steady all the way up to her new found engagement bliss. I admire her hard working effort to try to balance everything and keeping us all on that hopefulwave that love can show up for us all.
2. Gnightgirl
This is my home girl...and I'm proud to say it...a great writer, even greater fotographer, but best of all she sees the good in everything, her silver lining is my goal...Her only son is out in Iraq and instead of moping around she has started Toys for Troops....to help out the troops and children in the Middle east...definitely not your average soccer mom...
3. TMI
Another super trooper. I found her through and Autism sight. She is a mom of three, one of her children just like Miss C. She manages to make it all work, especially the baking and cooking gluten free, how she does it, I don't know. She's witty, caring, outspoken. My kind of Mom.
4. The Simple Family
Been a reader for quite some time. From the Sarcastic Journalist days...and although she is no longer that, I absolutely love her writing and even more so that I'm trying to be green. I love her tips and they way she balances two young children, writing, working and helping mother earth.
5. It's myEscape
Chelle is awesome. Period. She has some hard times. Sometimes too hard, but she sucks it in and gets through it. She manages to go through hard times with fabulous hair. Believe me, you wouldn't wanna see me in hard times...I love reading about her trips and her insight on relationships and life....did I also mention she is a great mom??!!
This blogger award thing is not fair though...cause you can't nominate anyone who has been nominated...
So I'm giving out extra awards...lol...
Noemi and Yoly
Noemi...how do you manage with all that testosterone in a house away from your native habitat...I don't know...but you manage....and that in itself is great..
Yoly...you have the same struggle I do, plus more kids, a husband and a house to run...no easy feat, but I enjoy reading all about the struggles and the triumphs, which I savor as if my own...
I dreamed last night that I was hanging out with John Mayer and he was my boyfriend.
Then my *&^%$#$%R*&^(^/ !!!! alarm went off.
Talk about a party pooper.
Britney Spears is in a whole messa-of-trouble.
Poor kiddies.
Meaning her (she is so young still) and her boys.
We'll see what this all entails.
As for the rest of you folks, have a happy weekend.
It's 3 Kings Weekend, the Holidays are almost over....
Miss C is back to school on the 10th, traffic begins, but normality is oh so close!
I'm staring off on a green foot.
Just like Gnightgirl, I have been meaning to incorporate more 'greenness' into my life.
Ever since "An Inconvenient Truth" I've been wanting to do more.
Back in Jersey we used to recycle and not use plastic bags.
Where we live now, Puerto Rock, there is recycling in certain areas only.
My area not being one of them.
So I contacted my Mayor, found out where the drop off places were and decided to start dropping off.
I also bought some cool totes in order to eliminate the plastic bag usage.
I am also gonna get a little cart to tote my groceries in.
Hurray for us!!
We are gonna start doing some damage control...
I put a new song up on my player..."Say" by John Mayer
"Say what you mean to say".
Amen.
I will not be afraid to speak my mind, my heart or my soul.
You never know when it may be the last moment you'll do so.
Don't ask me what the hell I did...I hit a wrong button somewhere the result was I ended up with my old old first layout and all my old settings gone.
I had to start from scratch and put up my pics, the links and the music player up again.
I had to make a new player because I couldn't find the account information on the old one.
If I am missing anybody's links please advise me....
I added a new song: "Say" by John Mayer....totally totally awesome song...
Overheard on some crack cartoons the Kid was watching this morning:
"A beating heart is very important in order to be healthy".
Ahem...a beating heart is very important in order to be alive....
I almost forgot to give thanks for something else...
We caught Mickey.
This morning as I was doing my makeup and Miss C was watching me, I mumbled to myself:
"I gotta get more traps, this mouse is chewing up the rubber on my screen door's bottom".
I don't think I had finished the sentence when:
"Squeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak...ohmygodimtrapped......squeaaaaaaaak!!"
Miss C jumped up, scrambled to the bed, covered her ears..."What is that?"
I went to the kitchen...Mickey landed in the glue trap I had placed near the stove counter, he got stuck and was face down on the floor stuck to the trap...
I called mice expert, Vietnam.
"Place it in a bag, close it tightly, it will suffocate on it's own. Unless you wana hit it with something to kill it sooner".
I'll pass.
I'm not afraid of mice, roaches, crap like that.
But the idea of picking up a glue thingy with a live creature still attatched was disgusting.
I squirmed as I placed it in the bag.
I asked Miss C if she wanted to see it.
She passed.
I placed the bag where Vietnam ordered me to and I was off.
Mickey was caught and now the Kid and I could sleep in peace.
A night wasted.
I could've made some curtains for Miss C.
But noooooo...
I spent my evening at a 10 year high school reunion.
I remmembered why I wanted to graduate so fast in the first place.
Fish out of water.
Once again.
"Hey look!!! It's the 'rapper'...!"
The rapper????
As in rap artist???
Good Lord the things I get myself into.
"You haven't changed a bit".
Is that good or bad???
Actually it wasn't all bad until the subject of kids came up.
"Well I have a girl..." I mustered...
"You do?"
"Well I don't have any kids...thank God.." ::rolls eyes::
"I don't either"
"I don't either, I love my free life...nephews are enough for me".
Lots of single ladies in their late twenties...all drinking it up, acting like they graduated yesterday...
The women with children were set apart, like if we were a plague.
"Come along ladies, where are the mom's...?? a picture of the mom's..."
I declined.
Having kids isn't a plague.
Hell, I'd be worried if I was almost 30 single and sans family.
But, whatever floats your boat, ya know.
At 11pm me and True, poor lonely True who sat and watched it all unfold, made a silent exit...went to Starbucks and headed home.
I dropped him off and went to pick up a sleepy Miss C.
I plopped her into bed and scoffed...
I gazed at the sleepy kid who was hoggin' my sheets and the tons of toys scattered in my room...
"these people don't know what their missing..."
They really don't.
Aw man...who else is having a hard time getting up at 6am to read, pray and do some pilates???
anybody???
.
this ruling the world thing...maybe a bit too much for my plate for now.
I have a headache the size of Mexico or Texas..or whatever piece of land is larger.
I have two big things this weekend and I'm pooped already.
The Parent Support Group I am in is doing a Mall Tour to create Autism Awareness. They have visited several of the large malls in Puerto Rico. This weekend I'm in charge of the mall in my area. I'm not even gonna go into details, but I am stressed. Luckily there are many people helping and the leaders have been great....it's just me...it's a bit hard you know...saturday for 12 hours and sunday for another 5. Without Miss C.
It's neccesary though. We need to create awareness of this epidemic, we need to help other parents who are starting in this long journey. I wanna help. So I will.
So far we have many volunteers including therapists, teachers and other health profesionals. So I hope it all turns out well.
*****
Miss C has jumped off the wagon. She bit her tongue this weekend and is using that as an excuse to abandon her vitamins.
But I have bigger plans.....bigger strategies that would make the FBI and the Navy Seals shiver in their combat boots....or suits and ties....
I am blackmailing her.
In every possible way.
I've got her up to half a vitamin already.
Her Magnesium is being slipped into her juice...and pretty soon we're back on track.
****
Funny story...
As I was exiting Subway with my lunch in tow...a little old lady approached. She kind of looked like the lady who used to be in the Old Navy Commercials. No, not Morgan Fairchild...the one who had the big dark rimmed eyeglasses.
"Excuse me Miss, are you going this way...(she pointed to one of the mall exits), you see I am lost, I took the wrong bus and I need to get to the bus stop".
I look at her...puzzled. Because the bus stop isn't that far away.
"Um...no actually I'm in quite a hurry and I'm going the other way".
"Oh....(Pause) ok..thank you" and proceeded to look for another person.
I lied.
I was going her way.
But the situation was odd. She was a well dressed woman, about in her late 70's, wasn't too far from the bus stop, it wasn't raining...and she stayed to see if someone else would randomly pick her up.
I'm sorry but I am NOT making it on the FRONT PAGE:
"20 something year (cough) beatened and robbed by the notorious Grandma's Ganstas..."
it ain't happening....
I wonder who gave her a ride.
I wonder if they'll come out in the paper.
I'll keep ya posted...
Just saw a box of Pasta.
Made with "Real Jerusalem Artichoke Flour".
You don't say?
True is in the paper today....no pics but a cool interview on how our work (going to preach in the streets) is impacting our youth...It was a four part series on Hip Hop in Puerto Rico, and we were fortunate enough to get mentioned today!!!here
The article is in spanish, but you can see his name in there..!!!