is brought to you by:

things that have made me laugh, get upset, and totally lose my effin' head...

1. Miss C has been the turbo route of passing gas. Let's just say, this isn't her 'normal' behavior...she has low gas rates....but this weekend it's been hideous...only a mother's love could stand the smell of a child passing gas with the potency of a 60 year old man who has eaten baked beans....

Last night as I walked in the room that smell hit me.....

"Miss C!!! Did you pass gas??? (I don't use the word 'fart', but Miss C already knows it)"

"No mommy"

"Are you sure??? Because it stinks in here!!"

"No mommy...Miss C did not fart, ::she then grabs her butt and continues:: this is not functioning...does not function".

I don't know why I laughed so hard, if it was the fact that I falsely accused her and she defended herself, or the fact that she actually used the word 'function'.

2. Upset factor: there are a lot of things I can mention here in number #2, but let's just say...I'm dead broke this week and I think I'm gonna go and sell some of Miss C's Pet Shop toys at the stoplight...

Ok. not really. But between her b-day, vader's b-day (which is today), father's day...a kiddie b-day on saturday...I'm stressing......


3. Losing my effin' head: Why, why oh why, oh why, oh why, do senior citizens insist on working. If you are on Social Security, why oh why oh why do you do this to me. Why are you working the Cash Register at the pharmacy at 8:55am, when I clock in at 9am?????????

There was a line of about 6 people....and this little old, cute lady with her hair and makeup in place...(she actually looked like a LEGO person, you know, the kind you can remove their hair), her hands were trembling..she couldn't get the bags open to place the customers things in, people were questioning prices, she was squinting her eyes (with glasses on) to try and see the monitor....

It was excruciating.
when we walked out, True looked at me and quoted the lines of one of my favorite rap songs:

"She'll kill ya with ther Slo-mo"

Bejeezus.....I thought I was gonna hit retirement in that line!!!!

Yeah...it's like that...

Friday's Four has now turned into Thursday's Threesome.....

Today I bring to you : The Three Things that have Me on the verge of a Nervous Breakdown...in no particular order....


1. My stuffy/runny nose....homegirl either your stuffy or runny..you can't be both..but ultimately my nose has a mind of it's own and has decided to be both...who did I get my nose from? Miss C, who's constant germ-spreading actions (like not covering her mouth up when she sneezes or slobbering me with germ-ridden saliva) have contaminated my inmune system.

2. The Birthday ....Miss C is turning 5 on Monday....be tuned for a mushy mushy post...I am not big on parties, especially kiddie parties. Those readers who've been following me for quite some time, know this for a fact. But alas, I've decided she is big enough to understand the concept of one and enjoy one, so I've decided on something small at a local Mickey D's...two hours, no cleaning and everyone hits the road after that..no clowns, no entertaining on my behalf....

Yeah....I dislike kiddie parties...

If it is all planned out, then why am I so stressed you might wonder?

Well, because I fear a very small quota of people who I invited. So once again, Miss C will have a party sans children....

She is not quite the social butterfly I thought she'd be.

3. The yankees

I do not need to elaborate. Go to the standings and see where we are at.

)(*&^^%$$%^**&*&%%$#&*!!!!!

What three things have you on the brink of Crisis Mode this week?

Please share so I won't feel that much pathetic...