Todo tiene su final.

If it wasn't for the fact that the Yankees beat Boston last night and that they are winning right now as I type, I would say that this week has sucked.

But alas, the Yanks don't let me down in my time of need.

Todo tiene su final...nada dura para siempre...

That is the famous song from Hector Lavoe...

Everything has an end...nothing lasts forever...

I had a chance to see that movie last week. I hated it...I hated Puchi and I hated Jennifer Lopez...but alas...I won't be put through that torture again..

close Parenthesis..

My vacations are almost over..I'm back to work on Tuesday.
I've spent the week running errands...doing laundry...mopping...

Tomorrow I start a support group for single moms, which will meet two thursdays a month...and there goes the rest of my weekend...

Miss C isn't going to school tomorrow, I made plans to have a mom and kid day tomorrow before I head out to my support group...

She will also be spending the night over her dad's house on I have Sunday to do whatever I feel like it...

which probably translates into sleeping.


I'm a bit tired...definitely frustrated and dissapointed with several things in my life right now.

I feel for some strange reason that it's time to move more ways than one.

I won't give any details...but most of you can draw up your own conclusions...

sometimes when you give a give a lot...

I've been going round' your blogs..been reading..but my brain has got nada..nothing...

but I've been keeping up with you guys....

talk to ya' later...

Mussina Sucks...

I finally find ESPN....they are televising the last game in the Detroit series...and we get closed out.


16 to 0..............................

I was better off, not knowing where ESPN was...............

long time no write...

I've been on a semi-vacation...
I mean..I'm out of the office..but I've been working my arse off at home..

You up toys..washing clothes...

and then having Miss C come back at 5 to screw it all up again...

I've been giving some TLC to the Deathvan...and other chores...

I haven't been sleeping in, contrary to popular belief...because I have to get up to drop Miss C off at school...

So it's been more work than play...

I want to go to the beach..but the weather hasn't been cooperating....

As for sports...because this year I have not blogged enough about my Yankees...well...I haven't had time for them either...

Most of their games are not being televised....and now I have another issue..

I switched from cable tv to Dish....because Cable was sucking hardcore and was charging me an arm and a leg for some crappy channels... with Dish..all the channel numbers are I spend quite a large amount of time with my guidebook trying to find ESPN.

but in the end..I don't think my Yanks are gonna make it...they are second place in the division..and second in the Wild Card Race...and we lost yesterday....

In other "exiciting news", True and I are still very much an item...our one year anniversary is next sunday...No we don't have any, I don't have a ring on my important finger.

But..he has a new job...that we are talking bout a spring wedding....and a ring soon. I already saw some I like...I won't post the links..because I'm feeling a bit supersticious...

As for the lovely Miss C...she has adapted well to school and is talking out of her arse. Ironic how I longed for her to talk...and now, I just wish she'd shut up a little.

"Mom...did you mop today...??"


::she then gives me a thumbs up::

"Very did a good job!!!" then kisses my hand...


"Miss C!!!!!!! Didn't I tell you to pick up your toys???!!"

She walks a hissy fit attitude, hands on hips..

"Allright allright....I pick some (points to another mound of toys) I pick up tomorrow...tomorrow mom..." they say over here in Puerto the birds shoot at the guns....


I was tagged by Noemí with the Middle Name Meme.

I didn't wanna give out my middle name...but in the sake of this meme..and the little time I have left between the things I'm doing on my goes..

Here are the rules:
1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.
2. Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.
3. When you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post containing your own middle name game facts.
4. At the end of your blog-post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.


1. YOUNG...I grew up very young...there was little time to be carefree and act like a kid...I never regret having become an adult so young in life..

2. ADAMANT....I still am. Stubborn and not willing to back down if I know I am right. This, obviously has caused me many a trouble....tears and apologies....

3. DONE....I am done with certain chapters of my my parents...their fights, my first marriage and feeling sorry for myself....There are other chapters...which I will not mention, that are still Undone...and I have no idea how the hell am I to finish them off..

4. ANXIOUS..I get nervous often...I chew off my by my fingers...and mess with my hair...

5. RESPONSABLE...I may be cooky..I may be forgetful..and have a full plate on my hands...but I am always responsable...with ALL OF MY THINGS..

6. INSTINCTIVE...I don't know if this is a woman's thing....but I have like a very sharp 6th sense....I can tell almost instantly if a person is good or bad..what are their intentions...and things that might go wrong..or right....Alas, sometimes I fully ignore them and that's why I get into trouble..

Now..who do I tag??

All of ya'll..

It was another casual Sunday afternoon.
Me, True and Miss C were on our way to have lunch, after our usual church service.

We decided on a local fast food place...chicken was on our mind.

I sit down and observe as True is ordering.

I notice four girls ahead of him in the line.
I noticed them because one of them had the same shirt I had on, in a different color and they all seem very young, very happy, very trendy.

The typical single girlfriends who are out having lunch.


True arrives with the food. He tells me he ordered our dessert, but will pick it up after we finish our food...and we get ready to eat...

But out of the blue, one of the girls who was in the line approaches us with her tray...and a notebook in her hand...

" name you guys mind if I sit with you and share a mission I have?"

True and I exchange glances....I tell her no problem...

Silly silly me...


Retarded Retarded me..thought she was a student conducting surveys or selling something...

Here's our sitting arrangment..

it's a four seat table...two on each side across from each other.

I'm on one side with True to my left...
Miss C is across from me...

And the Girl is next to Miss C. Girl as in early/mid twenties.

She asked our names...various times...I didn't give out Miss C's full name...and as she started to eat...she briefly said...

"We are living in a hard world..I want a world of love, support...I have a mission..."

I arched my eyebrow and thought "what mission?"

But I'm smarter than that, and I did not ask...because if girlfriend was gonna start rambling on some crazy sh*t I was gonna have to beat her with my drumstick.

"You guys...what are your names again??? look like such a splendid family"

She turns to Miss C..

"What is your name??? Why do you look at your mommy so much???"

At this point, she started to creep me out because Miss C starts opening up to her..

"Love is so important, I see you are a loving a part of my mission I bought these two desserts and I would like for you to have them".

We declined.

One: We had already purchased desserts.
Two: I don't take candy from strangers.

She started to insist.
We kept declining nicely.

True got up to get our desserts.
She leans over the table.

"Can I ask for a favor?"

::arch eyebrow::

"It all depends.."

"Well, to complete my mission, I need you to eat at least one bite of this dessert, just one spoonful and that's it....please".


"Just one.."

"I said NO".

She backed off, got the picture. I could of been rude to her and told her to ...eff off, but these days with all the things I see on TV, I wasn't about to get stabbed at Church's Chicken.

"Well, it has been a pleasure sharing my mission....Can I hug you guys..?"

Before we could utter a word, she leaned over and hugged Miss C...and me and True..

As Gnightgirl would say:

Bad Juju..

And she left to the cash register to buy more desserts....Me and True looked at each other...and sat in silence..since she was still close by...

But as we began observing...the girls had all split up and each of them was at a table in the same operating method...with desserts and all..

True looks at me...nods in the direction of the table ahead of us..

"Is that another one?"


"Let's get out of here".

We proceeded to leave and there were others outside...hugging strangers, giving away desserts....acting very very weird...

It was like a Neo-Hippie movement without the weed...

As we got in our car, a few of them looked our way and smiled....

But there was something not totally genuine about these smiles...they looked off...very off...just as off as that girl's eyes when she spoke to us...

We quickly buckled Miss C in and drove off....very fast...
And joked about cults who sacrifice kids and stuff like that..

But deep down inside....we fell silent...with the weirdness and the possibility of it all...

May God forgive me if they were truly performing geuine acts of kindness...but I'm not about to die eating a chocolate brownie cake...

in church clothes...

on vacation

I"m on vacation...and I'm trying to stay away from technology...but..but..but...boy oh boy do I have some good blogging material....including a very odd cult that interrupted our lunch yesterday....and window shopping at the mall......

stay tuned....


Someone just said something that really shocked me.....

"Really....You can't eat love".

I had never gave it much thought.
But in a sense, it's true.

You cannot eat love.
You can try to live off love, but you can't eat it.

It can not soley sustain the human being.

Or am I wrong?

Is it wrong to think outside the box, outside the cutesy-sweet lil' ol' things we long to believe in?

can you eat love?

I just saw the video.

The video of the police officer executing a man on the floor.

A man who was on his way to a sweet 15.

What you see is a man on the floor struggling with an officer and after the officer shoots him once, he shoots him twice more. Then the police all walk away.

He died.
A father of three.

I had to contain myself from crying.
It was the most hurtful thing I have seen in my entire life.

I had to stop and pray.

For his family, for ours and for what lies ahead.
I prayed that God may grant serenity and justice to this family.

I pray for this Island, where those who are put to serve and protect are doing just the opposite.

I have never been a fan of the Law Enforcement....and this just gives me more reasons to not become one.

Maybe it is true, that this man didn't speak to the police officer in the most efficient manner, and in the struggle the police officer's gun went off, shooting the officer in the thigh, at which point the officer pulls the gun out of his holster shoots the man, who is on the ground by the way...and not content with that...shoots him two more times.....THE MAN WAS UNARMED.


The saddest part....
That the officer who did this will probably come out unharmed.

And a family has lost it's provider, father, grandfather, son and husband.

If you dare, here is the video...

Weekend Recap

How was my weekend?

Well, it involved shark attacks, baseball games, pools and valium.

Pretty action packed.

It started off on Saturday. I had a packed schedule:

7:30am drop off cable box at Cable TV...I switched to DISH, Cable TV was killing me with the bill....

8:00am go to Freshmart and get Miss C her lunch snacks..

8:20am therapy...

9:00am Doctor...get him to fill out ANOTHER Medical exam...The school asked for another form to be filled out at the last minute.

I was there till 12:00pm...True was at my place making sure my DISH was being properly installed....

Got home, took a shower and made my way with Vietnam to his company's Family Day.

After a 40 minute drive we arrived.

Miss C went ballistic when she saw the clowns.
She and clowns don't mix.

So I tried to make things work...mentioned a pool. She got happy. Only to have happiness sucked out of her, when we got there and they closed the pool in our faces.

Needless to say: ALL HELL BROKE LOSE.

My hand bares a huge bruise, souvenir of the bite she took out of me. She screamed, wailed, Vietnam was embarrassed, people looked on, raised eyebrows, made comments...I lost my temper.

I spanked her.
Yeah I spanked her.
Sue me.

I looked and said very out loud: "If no one is going to help, then stop staring!!!"

We spoke to the lifeguards, they didn't give a crap.
It wasn't until an Employee, high ranking employee of Vietnam's workforce, came over and decided this could not be allowed. He demanded that Miss C be let in the pool.

They let her in.
But it was too late.

It took an additional half hour to get her under control.
I was enfuriated.
I spent the rest of the day in the pool, sucking in tears.

As they day ended I started to prepare Miss C and tell her that we were going to be leaving soon....
A life guard came by...with a smirk on his face:

"How are you gonna get her out??? You got any valium??" ::chuckle chuckle::

and he walked away before I could say anything...

We went home and Miss C continued her hell-tour....I ended up spanking her when she reached out to bite me again.

That was the last straw.

I cried and cried and cried.

True got home and saw the whole mess...
He tries to help the poor dear, but sometimes it's just hard.

There are days like this weekend that I don't know how I can deal with her.

Days that even though deep down inside I want more kids, I don't know if I can deal with her and ANOTHER child.

Sunday, went by the same..more tears....more frustrations....

But today is a new day...a new week...and she starts it's less time with it all works out for now...I need the solo time...

This Wednesday I will be on TV, talking about I'll be sure to post about that....

How was your weekend???

Lost their Mind Friday

When I found out I was pregnant, I immediately had to find a OBYGN....

But alas, I had very very crappy Medical Insurance.

Government Medical Insurance

So the options were very very limited.

I found a doc near my new home and stuck to him.

His office was an old run down house in the downtown area, inside it was cozy, but nothing Hi-Tech or fancy.

The Doc himself was allright.

It was the nurse that had lost her bleepin' mind.

She always arrived looking like she has been dragged by a pick up truck prior to arriving.

Her hair disheveled. She wore a traditional white nurse uniform with stockings and shoes, the lil' white nurse hat (do they even use those anymore?)and she spoke very rambly like, very quick...even kind of slurrish, like she hit the Jack (Daniels) before arriving to check ta' ta's..

So anyway...she'd call you, weigh you...ramble about her sick sister, her economical situation..blah blah...

Then one she was weighing me in the little room, I was about 6 months along, she asked me: "Do you think I could borrow ten dollars?"

I'll give you a second to take that in.

I was a bit taken back....and I looked at her puppy-dog-who-just-drank-some-vodka eyes...and before I could even think about anything...

"Oh, thank you thank you...I'll repay you next week when I get paid".
"No, problem".

So, next week came, she weighed me in and nada.
The next week came, she weighed me in and nada.
And so forth, and so forth.

About a month and a half later, as she was weighing me in, she went on her usual ramble on how broke she was....and she looked at me and asked:

"Do you think I could borrow twenty dollars?"

(*&^%$#@$%^&**) what-themutha-bleepin-crap-do-u-take-my-pregnant-arse-for???

I looked at her and wanted to scream out...

"Witch...u owe me ten bucks already...I'm about to pop out a chi-chi and you want twenty more diaper purchasing dollars??"

But something about her was off.

We were alone in that room.

She was the nurse who checked my vitals and the lil' heartbeat hearing machine and gave me prenatal pills.

I didn't wanna die.

or have my chi-chi removed from my womb and sold on e-bay.

so I just said I had no money.

and she never asked me again.

I wonder how many suckers like me fell for it.

I never mentioned anything to the doctor, and now I think I should have.

But, I popped out the kid, and never went back.

As a matter-a-fact....I have never been back to a OBYGN since the kid's birth.

That was 5 years ago...imagine how much cash the witch would ask for now..??

who do you know who has lost their mind?

Real Heroes

You guys interested in meeting a REAL HERO....???

Listen to Gnightgirl on the an interview talking about her HUGE Project: Toys for Troops!!!

Sweet lil' Old gnightgirl even mentioned Moi....!!!!

Go check her out....and if ya' can...join the cause!!!! I double-dare ya' to do something nice!!


Toys for Troops

Oh Yeah??

this is the popular phrase Miss C is sporting these days...everytime you ask her to do something, or start to reprimand her, she responds:

"Oh yeeeeeeeaaaaaahhh??!!" in that squeaky baby voice of hers...

That is precisely the phrase I wanted to use last night on someone, accompanied by some blows to the head with a really sharp object.

True, another fellow Emcee and I made our way to a producer's house last night. He is doing a mixtape and asked us to participate. I had never met the dude, but True and Ale knew him, and assured this guy was good and nice and blah blah....

I of course, know better, and always keep my poker face on.

We get there, go in, guy is nice, offers beverages and we get down to business.

First of all, there wasn't a single track I liked. At least not in my taste. True kept asking which one I liked, and I gave him the googley eyed stared, which was meant to be translated to: "not a single damn one". But he kept asking.

At one point I closed my eyes to pretend I was concentrating on the listening part.

Anyway...after several tracks....True picked one out, that wasn't half bad, and the guy goes rambling on about how he is very honest, how he tells emcees to their face if they are bad..blah blah blah...then he starts rambling on how he doesn't know how people can produce and rap....

To which I felt like answering...

You don't do both simultaneously.
You first produce a track.
Then you rap on it.
It's not like your producing and rapping all at the same time...

Then...he started getting more personal with asking if we live together...when is the wedding..blah blah...

True explains..they talk...

And then the guy looks at me:

"You have a kid? dontcha? a boy."

"Yes, but actually it's a girl".

"Oh.." Then he turns to True..."...well, that's have to make sure you love his boy..You have to love this boy before you get married".

True corrects him: "I do...I love that little GIRL, alot."

The arse continues: "...cuz let me tell you offense to you, but I couldn't marry no woman with a kid. I looked hard for someone without a child. If I don't have one, why should I marry someone who already does. Why not have the privilege to start fresh. People would ask me when I would marry, and I'd be like, I need to find someone without a know there are lots of women with kids around...and I feel I deserved someone without one".On the risk of sounding cruel...I knew beforehand he had lost his first baby a few months ago....

karma is a bitch.

I kept quiet.

I tried to prevent my eye from popping out of it's socket.

I wanted to scream: "Oh mutherbleepinsonofawitch...what the hell are single women with kids supposed to do????? stay single FOREVER, because asses like you don't like us???"
and then slowly pull his fingernails out with a plier.

But I didn't.

I kept quiet.

I was an adult.

And we left.

But now I feel sick to my stomach and I have that lil' thorn in my spine...and I wanna see him and tell him what a jerk he is...

I'm sure I'll get the chance.
and maybe next time he'll actually use his brain for more than just weak beats.

Big Pimpin...

Yesterday I was speaking to the Empress. It has been a while since I've talked to her. We've both been busy....

and I feel like a turd for neglecting our friendship.

There, ya happy?

So anyways, we were just catching up on things and we were talking about how many wicked memories we were building to share with our grandkids.

And then she reminded me of one I had forgotten:

Let me take ya back to the late 90's.

It was raining.

No. It was POURING.

I was downtown rehearsing for a talent show.
Empress was standing at the bus stop waiting to catch a bus to meet up with me.

But alas, there was rain, and no buses.

Then, a sleek crown victoria with tinted windows stops beside her.

Empress, puzzled, wondered why the car stopped.

The back windows come down and a head pops out.

"Where are you headed??"

Empress astonished, "Um...downtown".

"Hop on in, I'll drop you off".

So she arrives downtown in a chaufeur driven crown victoria.

"You'll never guess who gave me a ride??"

"Oh, Lord, I'm afraid to even ask".

"The mayor. Our mayor!!!! The mayor gave me a ride in his car, with his chaufeur!!".

Now let me just add, this wasn't ANY mayor. This was the mayor of our hometown for more than a trillion years. A mayor who is dearly loved by everyone, very popular, a mayor who also happened to be my grandmother's cousin (as I later found out).

So....Empress got a ride to a talent show, where I was gonna rap by our mayor.

I don't know what they talked about on the way over. And if these conversations bared fruit to any of the powerful connections Empress has nowadays...but you gotta makes for one hellofa great story for the kiddies...

"Big pimping ya'll spending cheese".

it wasnt all bad...

Last night I spent the night at my in laws.

Miss C doesn't start school this week, and in order to save some mula on childcare, my MIL offered to take care of her.

I thought the easiest approach to avoid some much anticipated traffic was to stay over.

heck, they have a spare room, with a huge bed for us, so why not.

As I sat in the living room, I remembered I had forgotten to bring soap.

To which True's Mom quickly came to my rescue....

"There is extra soap in the medicine cabinet, so don't you worry".

As soon as I had decided me and Miss C were gonna take a shower and call it a night, True's mom came in,

"I put the soap right in the shower so you didn't have to go searching for it."

How sweet.
Like it was gonna be hard searching for a bar of soap in a cabinet.

His mom is the best.

So, as I'm taking a shower, and I'm lathering up....the soap smelled exactly like the soap my grandma used when I used to visit her here in Puerto Rico during my summers.

But I kind of shrug off the smell and decide to hit the sack.

But, as I lay there all sorts of memories came flooding in.

I sank into the ambience around me.

The soft glimmer of the kitchen light coming in through the crack of the door, the fresh scent of grandma's soap, the crisp, clean bed sheets, that True's mom always puts when we stay over....the same crispness that my grandma used to provide....then there was the buzz of the fan. The buzz of the fan that lightly refreshed the room, so soft and subtle, enabling me to hear something I had not heard in such a long time, due to my obsessiveness with the A/C:

I heard crickets.
and Coqui's.

And all sorts of insects in their Melodic Symphony.

And I lay there, looking at Miss C who had already fell asleep.

Thinking of my summers in Puerto Rico, as a child, sleeping with my Aunt or Grandma, smelling like Safe Guard....hearing the crickets and coqui's...and touching soft crisp sheets....and how I loved those summers, no matter how hot they were. How I didn't care for A/C's, or fancy soaps, or tv's, or ipod' I was so happy to be there, with my the still of the night, and feel that everything was gonna be just fine.

Weekend soundcaps

...tid bits from my weekend....


"Mommy my hair is big, need haircut".

"No, sweety, you just got one, it's just a little messy".

"How's mommy's hair?"


She pauses to look puzzled at my longer curlier hair...."..hardcore, it looks hardcore".



"Now let me tell ya' something Mister..."

::pokes fingers in True's Chest to make a point::

"I need to be proposed to, in a nice manner, No Proposal, No wedding"

::pokes finger again in Chest::

"Ya got that??"

"Um...ouch....that hurts"



"I want you on your knees, with a ring...and a proposal...most people just give out the ring and skip the proposal...I want the proposal"
Clearly agitated at the fact that I am giving him a hard time with the whole proposal thing...

"Honey...Please...I am Roman....BEEEELCHHHHHHHH".

Nothing says a big cereal induced burp, when your stating you are romantic....


And that folks was the weekend....

Had a friend over for dinner on Saturday.....
Went to church on Sunday.....
Slept on Sunday....
And called it a night....


She came running in the office:

"Dial 411!! Dial 411!!"
and she bolted out as fast as she had bolted in.

It was one of the house employees...

I guessed 911 was a better option.

As I ran outside to ask her the reason so I could provide details, I saw her run into the alleyway that leads to the beach.

"Ma'am...? is there a fire? someone drowning? anyone hurt??"

"Um. I really have no idea."

"I'll send some police officers your way".

The police came...combed the beach, found nothing, asked me, I had no answers.

The employee had gone missing.

I went back into my

If someone had died, I'd find out sitting in my chair with the A/C on.

Minutes later I called the employee.

All I understood was:

"Ok...I got the guy..."

I hung up.

Minutes later she walked in.

"Um. 411 wasn't available and 911 wanted to know what the problem was".

"I didn't have time to explain the problem".

"Well, next time you do, I can't tell them to send firefighters when someone is drowing".




"Soo...what was the problem??"

"Did you look outside?"


"Look outside".

"What's outside?".

"Look outside, there was a guy next to your car, I thought he was trying to steal your tires, but he was doing something else."

Well, first of all I wished he would have stolen those tires, it would have given me more motivation to get those new tires I've been saying I'm gonna buy for over 3 weeks. Second of all, I thought the guy had taken a crap next to my tire.

But, ::le sigh::, that was not the case.

Instead I saw a whole crapload of flowers and aloe plants uprooted, yanked from the ground.

The guy stated he wanted to steal the plants.

He was trying to steal an aloe plant.

Did he have a severe sunburn that needed attending to?

Are we that messed up that he prefered to steal a plant than steal my deathvan????


I guess it works out in the end.

He didn't steal my deathvan..and our employee ran a couple of yards to trap the Aloe Thief.

Some excitement in the office on a Friday at 3:30pm isn't bad at all.


And we lost tonight....we had a perfect streak and we messed it up....damn Yankees....we are still not even qualified for the wild card....We need Boston to keep on lose lose we can crawl back up....

we'll see how it goes, but the season is winding down....::sigh::

Even sports can be stressing...

Miss C is now free of measles....has a nice new sharp haircut and has been spending her days not really caring I'm her mom.

She prefers to spend time with anyone but me.

Wednesday, for the first time in a zillion years, I slept by myself. She decided she wanted to spend the night at Vader's.

An empty bed for me, sheets all for me, the TV ALL FOR ME.

SILENCE all for me.
No having to get a kid dressed in the morning.
Being able to wake up and not have to chit chat or give orders.

sounds cruel, but it was pure bliss.

I needed that alone time, especially since she is being such a turd lately.

Yesterday I went to church for the first time in almost a month. I had been absent due to all these illinesses and so forth. Miss C wanted to tag along.

It's kind of hard to get your spiritual groove on, when you have a five year old attatched to your leg, desperately screaming: "Ceeeeereeeaaaaaaaal!! I want colored cereeeeaaaal NOW!!!"

Even the pastors couldn't get their ALELUYA ON, with the kid demanding a snack.

Thank God for Back to School's.

Which happen to be next week.
Only Miss C's teacher has informed me that she will not be receiving her students the first week, she will be receiving the parents for meetings.


Back to School for me.

I adore going to schools and mingling with the personnel.

::rolls eyes::

As for the rest of the eventful days, so tenderly called "LIFE".

Well, let's just say it's there.

I've tried to manage through the days as best as I can. Yesterday was our (True and Me) 11 month anniversary....we are a month away from having our one year celebration.

I'll give you a moment so you can appreciate the crickets in the background.

I was so tired I feel asleep yesterday.
some celebration.

We've definitely have had our ups and downs.
The wedding plans are on hold, until he gets a stable job. His work hours were cut in half due to the economical crisis the island is facing.

and I love the guy, but I'm not getting married to anyone who can't hold his own, wallet wise.

I've got enough sh*t in my life right now to have another worry.

So he's working on the job thing.
We've been looking at rings.
He's noticed my dismay and reduced excitement on the whole wedding thing.

I'm just going through a period of dismay.
I'm dismayed at a lot of things right now.

I've had lots of ideas on the way things should be, and they are resulting in other things.

But I'm still here.
Eating up all the chocolate cookies I can get a hold of to ease the pain.
Surrounded by very understanding people who know it's best not to mess with me when I'm this way.

a lil bit of the old mary keeps piercing out...and even though i'm trying to keep her underwraps, I can't help myself at times...

Like, let's say, yesterday a woman honking her horn at me, so I would move out of the way, clearly not seeing I had stopped because there was not one, but three police officers stopping the car in front of me.

The police look at me, like if i'm the crazy woman honking the horn, but realize it's not me.

meanwhile crazy lady keeps on honking and talking trash at me.

a perfect scenario for mary to run loose.

"You stupid ............*&^%$"


I can't help it.
some people just ask for it.

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