Holy Cow, Pudge has been traded to the Yankees to fill the void left by Posada.

And Manny clearly wants out of Boston!!!

October just got a little more intriguing!


"If I EVER catch you stealing again, I will call the police and they will lock you up in jail, wait, I'll do something worse, I will cut off your hand like they do in Western (Eastern?? I have no clue) Hemisphere".

"I don't wanna go to Jail, I wanna be free, I want to eat and play and I want my hand!!!"


She sobbed....she hugged me...she got serious..."I understand".

That was what went down yesterday. Miss C stole a spool of thread from a store we were in. The problem was not only that she stole, it was that she lied about it, hence making it very clear to me that she knew what she was doing.

I swear if she had been caught I would have clearly pleaded Autism in order to avoid a complete nervous breakdown.

I told Vader that I was planning to take her back to the store and hand a handwritten apology to the manager and apologize in public.

Vader thought I was being too hardcore.

Yeah, but that's how they start. Yesteray was a spool of thread, next week she'll steal a car.

They start young ya' know.

Holy War

He was there again this morning.

He approached my car and I rolled down my window for some fun.

He gave me the flyer, still holding on to the other side.

"Will you spare some..."
I didn't let him finish.
"I don't have any change".

He started to pull the flyer back..."when do you think you'll have some??? tomorrow?"

In the most patronizing voice.
If I EVER wanted to hurt a Senior Citizen, Lord Help Me, now was the moment.

I snatched the flyer back and rolled up my window.

It's on.


When I was a child and I visited Puerto Rico (every year) Vietnam would never ever miss the opportunity to take me to Old San Juan in the Ferry that left out of Cataño.  It was just me and him, before my brother was born, before my parents totally hated each other's guts.  Although I do remember once Vader slapped the shit out of me because Vietnam was leaving and I left with him to Old San Juan.


After almost going totally crazy on Friday, all day at home with nothing to do, I decided to plan an "Adventure" with Miss C.  An adventure with no cars, no guys; just two gals and feet.

So we left our car in Cataño and made our way to the ferry terminal.
After paying an exaggerated amount of $.75 cents for BOTH of us....(I have no idea why more parents don't do this with their kids instead of the HUGE amusement parks), we got on the ferry.

Miss C couldn't have been more happier.  It was an adventure, on a "Boat".

10 minutes later we were in the great "Walled City" aka Old San Juan.

We didn't have any real plans, just two gals posing as Tourists.

Our first stop: The Pigeon Park.
A beautiful area full of pigeons, where you can buy a bag full of corn for a dollar and sit and feed the birds.

I don't need to say how much the Kid got a kick out of the birds, although she was upset that the pigeons wouldn't eat out of her hands, like they ate out of mine.

Maybe it had to do with the fact that I wasn't shoving my hand up their eyeballs with corn.

After the Pigeon Park, we made our way up to the Plaza de Armas, where we had a light $5.67 lunch at Wendy's.

After lunch we made our way uphill to explore the differents shops, sights and visited the "Museo del Niño", Children's Museum, full of all kinds of sights and wonders: Dress Up area, Science Area with live dengue carrying Mosquitoes, Huge Ears and Organs you can touch and explore, a nice Recycled Craft area and a recreation of a Plaza in San Juan, with a miniature store and Piragua Cart.

That cost me $12.00 for both of us.

After that we decided to go to the Totem, where a fountain jolts water from the ground and tons of children go to get wet and cool off.  We didnt' get wet, but we did cool off with a Real Piragua for $2.00.

Our last stop, El Morro, The Old Spanish Fort.

Entrance: Free up until 16 years old, everybody else :$3.00.

We explored every nook and cranny, played "Hide and Go Seek" and decided that finally at 4:00pm (we had been in San Juan since 11:30am) we were pooped.

We headed back down, not without stopping at the bookstores to look at books for the Kid and having a hot dog before getting back on the Ferry.

Once back in the Car we were going to head out to the thrift store, but our legs were pooped.
We called it an afternoon.

Total tab for the afternoon:  $29.17

I'm sure it could have been equally special and cheaper, minus maybe the Fort or the Museum, but it goes to show that you don't have to go far to give your children a special day.  In the end, as we sat on the Ferry and I saw her eyes shine with delight and curiosity, I couldn't help think if my face was equally delighted with Vietnam, almost 15 years ago.

And no matter how bad we have it now, I treasure those moments with 'Nam, and I'm sure Miss C will treasure ours.

Runs in the Fam

"I don't have a cat!!!!" 

Shriek shriek shriek

"I don't have a cat!!"

Miss C was upset because Vader's new kitty ran for dear life when Miss C arrived.

Elmyra anyone?

She bangs on the table, she cries, she screams.  She draws broken hearts and little girls with tears.

"You don't love me anymore!! You have left me broken hearted!!"

and just before I could open my  mouth and say something wicked, Vader beat me to the punchline...

"...then get a heart transplant kid..."

You know what they say: The fruit NEVER falls far from the tree.

World Vision

So there he was AGAIN.

The little old man who gives away leaflets of God near the intersection.

He's dressed very sharp and looks very sweet.

He approaches my car and I roll down my window. I grab onto the leaflet.

"Would you care to make a donation for a child we sponsor?" He points to a World Vision flyer he has in his shirt pocket.

"Um, I gave you a donation on Monday for your little dominican boy".

He started to snatch the flyer back.

"Well this little boy doesn't only eat on Mondays, he eats everyday and bathes every day!".

I looked in shock.

I snatched the flyer back and rolled my window up.


You have no can with no picture on it, no ID, just some flyers and you were gonna snatch away the Word of God because I couldn't spare some change this morning.

Get out of the intersection tomorrow, if ya know what's good for ya.


This is what Mr. Savage (appropiate last name by the way) said about Autistic Children.

While my kid has now entered a little bit of Brat Territory, I can tell very well, when it's pure "I wanna drive my mom up a wall" or "My brain can't grasp certain things".

He is nothing short of an Ass and it is very clear everyone in his home is healthy and well, may he never have to go through what we go through.

Retarded People

I just had to put this in a separate post.

Sunday when we arrived at the beach, there was a little girl playing on the sand, I think she was maybe around 7 or 8. Very cute and pretty.

Her grandmother was watching from the shore, while catching up on some reading.

She asked if her granddaughter could play with Miss C since "she loved playing with smaller girls".

I of course said yes.

As a mom of a child with learning disabilities I immediately noticed something was quite not right with the girl. She reminded me soooo much of Miss C. But it wasn't something any regular eye could notice.

After a while I went in the water with them and played a bit, pretending we were all sorts of fish and water creatures, they both laughed and giggled.

Then we sat on the shore a bit.

Her other grandmother came and said: "Get in the water a little while, you shouldn't be taking in all that sun".

I quickly offered some of Miss C's sunblock.

Her grandmother turned to me with a smile and said:

"Oh no thank you.", she leaned in and continued, "She is a little retarded girl and I have to continuosly tell her to get in the water or she'll burn to death".

She said it so casually, so non-chalant.

I was speechless. I, who would usually say something back, was speechless.

I was disgusted. How can she refer to her like that with such disdain with such, yuck.
First of all, the girl showed no signs of being retarded.

She was a bit shy at first, but she engaged in converstation, she asked me if I was Miss C's mom, what grade was she in, she told me she was in a special classroom, she wanted to be a dolphin when we played in the water...that does not seem retarded to me.

Her grandmother left and her sister (a teen about 16) came over to watch over her.

We went in the water and played some more. Her sister watched and smiled at me. And laughed when she saw us playing in the water and playing with her sister. Something about her smile told me she was happy, that maybe for once, her little sister was being treated like what she was: a child.

Weekend Recap

So there was a little bit of everything this weekend: sun, sand, food, lots of driving and poop.

Yeah. Shit always happens.

We were supposed to pull out at 6am for our 3 hour drive to Boqueron, but you know my brother and we ended up pulling out at 8am.  True had already went ahead since he got tired of waiting.

So, Bro, the girlfriend, me and the Kid made our way behind.

About 1 hour and a half into our drive, Miss C began to cry that she had to go "pipi".  I was like, "again?? didn't we just go pipi?"

So I proceeded to ignore her, only that she began to cry harder that it hurt.

"Are you sure it's pipi?"

Ok, so we stopped because we were in the middle of no where.  Bro's gal gave me a cup so Miss C could take a whizz.

Only that, it wasn't a whizz.  It was a little, excuse my french, "Fart with a prize".

I am only going to say she pooped my fingers then stepped on her own poop and there wasn't any water or napkins or nothing to wipe myself off.  There was only enough to get her clean.

It was the longest next 2 hours ever.

I had no option but to laugh.
I think we laughed for the next hour and Miss C, was humiliated.

She begged us to stop laughing at her.
Well, that is a good sign, she gets she is the butt of the joke.

And I just finished humiliating her, here.
What are mothers for, right?

Well, after that, which couldn't be topped off with anything else, we finally caught up to True and switched cars.

We made it to Boqueron around 11am and after leaving our stuff at the house we hit the beach for a nice afternoon.

We had regular beach food, burgers and hot dogs and played UNO (our latest addiction).

When the night came round, we made our way to the town for a little pool and even True's father showed to hang out.

I nearly froze to death with the A/C in the rooms and at 9am the next morning we hit the beach again.

We finally made our way back home yesterday around 8pm to some nice Krispy Kreme donuts and Extreme Home Makeover.

It was a nice weekend overall, and a much needed one.  But now it's back to the City. Alas, not all is eternal.

Everyone can't be happy

Having parents separted/divorced on bad terms is horrible.  It's like you have to literally tear yourself in two to make everyone happy; throw in some marvelous in laws and now you're totally screwed for Holidays.

Me and Vader have had a very shaky relationship every since we moved to Puerto Rico when I was 15. She was once my Best Friend and then she turned into something unrecognizable, heck, she turned into Vader.

Me and Vietnam, well we've never had a relationship.  We try to kill each other each second we get.  He's been a bit nicer since Miss C was born and I got divorced and after his stick up on Friday we've been very civil.

Vader's family is awesome.  I have always loved hanging out with them more.  Even though they are more on the humble side, I prefered them a thousand times over the luxury of Vietnam's family.

Nam's family always had a way of making me and my mom feel thirdworld women, degrading us, making us feel very inferior.  Always making comments on how much they spent on this and that, how much they have and how much we don't.

After Miss C the conversations were about how bad the little kid had it and how it must suck that I could no longer follow my dreams.

I banned them from my life.  I ocassionally visit my Grandmother who lives like 3 minutes away 2 every six months.

So, Vader and the fam are going out West this weekend. They rented a pad out near the beach (they do it every year) and have invited me, True and the Kid.  Bro and V are going as well.  I quickly said "Yes".  I needed to get the hell out of the Metro Area and for free, "Hell Yes".

So we are staying one night and now Nam is upset.
He invited me out East next weekend to my Uncle's vacation spot.

Puritan Uncle who I have not seen in years.
I don't go freeload on people I don't co-relate with.

Especially those folks.
And Sunday, (the day Nam wants to go), True is going to Minister for the First time in church and we can't miss it!!
So I suggest Saturday, Nam has errands to run.
Nam suggests Friday, I am not going Friday without any back up for Miss C while I drive or while I'm there.

I did that once for Nam's company party and I am not doing it again. (I'm sure there is a post around that somewhere, but I am just too lazy to find it)

So now Nam is upset, says I don't wanna hangout with him, when I have invited him numerous times to the beach, shopping, park, and he says "no" because he really needs to rake the leaves out back or wash some socks.

So that's my dilema.

How do I plan to solve it? I wrote him a letter. Because words with him are impossible.

But at the end of the day I hang out with whom I want and if some people don't like it, well, then too bad.

Have a good one folks!!

I barely talk about Miss C's problems, ok maybe I do a tad bit more, but I don't talk about it because well, I really have no idea.

Thing is today she had a medical evaluation, the typical back to school crap.

With a new doctor.
With a new government medical insurance doctor.

I hate these doctors.

That's why I had private insurance because I cannot tolerate these people.

Today was nothing different.

This was our 5th visit or trial visit. Everytime we went, they'd send us home because they were too full. I have a card that boasts the office hours from 8am-5pm and at 11am they attend no more patients.

Well then don't false advertise.

Anyway we went at 7am, take that you sicko's!!

They wanted her Social Security Card. I declined. You can't have it. It's against the law, due to identity theft, to ask or use my card or her card for any identification purposes, that is why she has an INSURANCE CARD.

After several odd looks, they obliged.

We made the #2 slot. They sent us in quickly.

After a few quick questions and revisions of her paperwork, the doctor quickly remarked:

"This child was misdiagnosed. She was never AUTISTIC."

WHAT??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!! YOU DON'T SAY!!!

"I'm so sorry Doctor, I do appreciate your expertise, but she was diagnosed correctly".

"What are you trying to say?? That she is cured. NO ONE IS CURED FROM AUTISM".
She's a real bright one ain't she.

"I understand that, but she is recovering. You didn't see my child when she was at her all time Autistic high. Headbanging, handflapping, tiptoeing, screaming, no talking, obsessed, ritualed child. I KNOW. I lived through all of that. That my hard work paid off, that my sweat and tears and money made some of it go away, well that's a whole different story."

She sat in silence.

She then questioned as to why my child has not received Physical or Visual evaluations.

"Do you have any idea of how the Department of Education works?"

"Well, if you ask for these evaluations they will give them to you".

"Yeah, real soon, I got the Physical Evaluation 2 years after I originally asked for it and I fought for it too. I am not your average mom".

"Well, some parents don't work hard enough. There are organizations and lawyers who can help. It is a shame so much money (public funding) is not used because parents do not fight for it".

I sat flabbergasted.

What was this imbecil telling me??? That I wasn't doing my part. That I have been sitting on my ass for 4 years, waiting for it all to come to me????

"Well, Doctor, I disagree. Some of us, do work. But the problem isn't us, it's our government and the damn burocracy in which things are run".

She finally shut up and did her work.

She found a throat infection, was quick to prescribe antibiotics (which I will not give to her) and said:

"Well her not being Autistic should be a thrill to you!! You should be happy she doesn't comply with any of the traits".

"Yeah, well she still needs helps and just because she has gotten so much better doesn't mean it didn't exist".

I left.


How dare she tell me that none of our lives ever happened. That I was a paranoid mother. That I did not cry for several years not knowing what would happen to my daughter. How dare her suggest that doctors didn't know what they were doing? Doctors not paid by the government, private doctors paid out of my pocket!!! And not to be stuck up, but the best doctors I could get!!!

How dare you be a Doctor and yet be so completely ignorant!

You should have your licensed revoked and you should dedicate the rest of your life to rocks.

Weekend Recap

After a very scary Friday, we managed to get our stuff together and have a nice weekend.

I hit the beach on Saturday with Miss C and then church on sunday.

Enjoy some pics !!


Friday Vietnam was robbed at gunpoint. The intention was to grab him coming out of the house but since he went out a little earlier the man got him at the bus stop.  The man put a gun to his head and took his cash, his bracelet and his Senior Year Graduation Ring (1974).  The man then hit him and took him to the ground, told him he was going to kill him right then and there. The bus that usually picks up Vietnam stopped as usual, full of passengers, saw Nam' on the floor, pleading for help and no one did anything.  They drove off.  They didn't even honk the horn or scream or call the cops. They just left him there to die. He didn't die though. The delincuent ran off. Nam', for the first time in a long time cried.  He said he thought of us, of his granddaughter, of life. Police were notified, he went off to work.  He couldn't bare stay at home alone, waiting for me. I took him to get a new phone, almost killed the lady behind the counter when she wanted to charge us $107 for a new phone, when he has insurance. The man almost got his brains blown off, show some sympathy. I managed to get him a new phone free of charge. I made dinner for him and took him to the Precint to look at mug shots. He made dinner for me on Sunday. Yesterday I watched the Home Run Derby with him (by the way Hamilton rocked with 28 runs). We had quite a scare, but I guess in some sick sense, it has made Vietnam a lil' bit nicer, a little bit more like a dad.

This morning he asked me if I still loved him.

"What kind of question is that?"

"An honest to God Question".

Well, there's my shot of caffeine this morning.

Love has nothing to do with it.
We are just on two major different pages in our lives right now.

I just want to have my car back and start seeing what I'm gonna do about my job situation.
I just don't want people to keep looking at me with sad puppy dog eyes and go "it's gonna be allright".

At times I feel I can't properly explode. That I am forced to pretend I am completely happy in order not to piss off those who are genuinely happy.

I am pissy, snarky, sarcastic and pretty much don't care about anything right now.
I've shut off the radio and prefer to lay down on the floor with Miss C and color.

I have in my own way become Autistic.
Ignoring all social cues that my behavior is not at all acceptable.

That it is not right to have a full blown tantrum because my refrigerator broke down or I misplaced my keys, or that my car, freshly out of the garage, might need a new battery, which I have replaced in the past year.

It is much more acceptable to just shrug it all off and go "aww fuey" and put on a happy face.

That is the reason so many people are hanging themselves with belts in their closets.

I'm not saying I am gonna do the proper. I am just saying a gal needs to vent, without judgement without fear that everyone is going to be upset that I am upset.

It has nothing to do with love, but rather with the fact that I am bored out of my wits with my routine of no money, no full time job and the heat.

With the car that won't hurry up and get better, with the fact that I couldn't go to Yankees Stadium this year, with all the things on my to do list which are still pending.

I don't think I have been this occupied yet this bored in my life with mundane activities.

And I'm not asking for slack. I am just asking to let me be.

Until I can find a way out.

No place like home

I've been crashing at True's Parent's house for the past week, since my Van is in the Repair Shop, yet again.

True's parents are awesome. They take care of my kid, make sure I eat a decent meal and his mom always makes sure my room is full of pillows and fresh sheets.

What I can't stand: The heat.

The ohmyfrigginlord heat.

The room I sleep in has 4 windows, 3 of which don't open.
True's room has one window, which is almost always closed.
Their living room has 4 windows, which True's Mom doesn't open.
Their room doesn't even have windows I believe.

Their bathroom DOESN'T HAVE WINDOWS!!

And they have no A/C.

I don't mean to sound like a snob but I can't sleep without A/C in a hot as hell house.

And I sure as hell can't shower in that house without going mad.

By the time I finish taking a shower and get dressed in the bathroom, sweat is rolling down my forehead.

And I am NOT a sweatin' kind of gal.

They have a huge gigantic fan they don't use because, get this: it blows air too hard.

So I kidnapped the fan into my room.

"Are you sure you wanna use that fan? It is very powerful".
"I mean I can get you a lighter fan"
"No, don't worry."
"Really it is not a problem, because it blows very hard and we can never use a fan like that. The one in the family is lighter".
"Look, trust me, I appreciate it, but I'm gonna tough it out on this one. I'll risk loosing my eyelashes for a good night rest".

So, it's hot.

Yesterday I commented to Vader how the flesh below my shoulder blade hurts and it is bruised. But I had no idea how. When I went to bed last night, a spring from the mattress bulged out and almost perforated my blade.

Now I know where the bruise came from.

At 1am when I went to pick up True from work (something I have to do if I wanna use his car during the day), we drove home real quick to pick up some paperwork I needed for a psychological re-evaluation they were performing on Miss C today. As I took all my paperwork, I stood in my bedroom and felt homesick. The house already smelled like empty.

I grabbed my pillow and made my way back to True's.
It seems no matter how nice I'm treated and how good I have it at someone else's house, there is no place like home.

A cooler, A/C bedroom, Serta mattress home.


Sometimes I love silence.

Sometimes when I drive I shut everything off including my brain. Because silence is golden.

I hate it when people disturb my silence and try to make me talk.

Sometimes silence is grand.


Yesterday a lady friend, a lady friend a tidbit advanced in age, confessed her love for thongs.

Like her truly passionate love for thongs and how she loves wearing them to bed.

Don't get me wrong, I am not against thongs.

I have two or three to avoid VPL (visible panty lines) but I don't sleep in them.

I don't like the idea of a string shoved up my you know what.

I am a very old fashioned traditional Hanes Cotton Bikini or Boy shorts lovin' kind of gal.

Nothing like cotton to keep my lady parts cool.

So I had no idea how to tell this lady friend that I wasn't interested in any more information regarding her love for thongs.

I am open to thong talking with a very select group of gals, it's just not something I discuss while in the dairy aisle in my local supermarket.

What subject do you tip toe around with only a select group?

Things people say

"Well, how do you turn on the cable box?"

Well, I don't really know but when in doubt, "ON" always works for me.

Weekend Recap

So it was a extremely busy weekend, with the Yankees FINALLY beating Boston last night, after two horrid nights of being whupped.

Thursday I made my way with a huge homemade slice of Lasagna and sat to soak in some Sex and the City...ahhh...I love Carrie.

Miss C made her way into the living room to announce her loose tooth had just gotten looser with something she ate. I thought it was going to be worse, but she took it very well and let me pull her tooth out. Gal just saved me $65 bucks at the dentist.

Of course she put her tooth under her pillow for the "mouse" to leave her some cash. We don't have toothfairies, but mice do the job just as well. She was excited with the $2 bucks she got at home, 2 more at grandma's and 20 at True's, which I quickly took back and made True give her 2 bucks. Not only is the mouse make several stops at different houses for the same tooth, but it seems the tooth business is going well.

Friday, 4th of July, we didn't make it to the beach, since I am not suicidal (and thank God I didn't because they killed a person in broad daylight; nothing like hotdogs and homicide to make a day). We decided on a lighter, less blood-shed activity like hitting Border's. Miss C loves books and she was saving some money Vietnam had given her, plus her new found riches thanks to a very generous mouse, so it seemed like a fun thing to do. She hanged on to the Wall-E display and squealed in delight with the tons of books. In the end, we had to help her with the bill, but her face of joy was well worth it.

True headed off to work (yes, he worked), I headed off to my aunt's house for some pool fun.

Saturday we layed low, did some school shopping and rented some movies.

I also decided to experiment in the kitchen and make some stuffed Manicotti. Those little suckers are hard to fill, but the final result was finger licking good. True is one very lucky man. I cook.

Sunday we hit our favorite pizzeria after church and sat our asses to a few more movies.

After the flicks, a mini nervous breakdown with the dying refrigerator, I decided that was my cue to call it a night.

Today I've got tons of crap to do for the back to school season and hopefully I can get my head around a nice nap.

How was your weekend?

Other nothings....

We were trying to put on a movie on the DVD player.

Some malfunction occurred.

"Ah Shit!"

True looked at Miss C.
True looked at me.
I tried to ignore the whole thing.

"Did you hear what she just said?"
"Ask her"

Crap. I wasn't getting out of this one.

"What did you say sweety?"

Please don't repeat it, please read my eyes and don't repeat it.

"Aw shit momma".

Sh*t indeed.

Where EVER did she learn THAT from??

Sweet Nothings

We were in the dark, in bed. I was tired and just wanted to go to bed.

She leaned in and asked "Momma, where is your ear??"

She searched for it in the dark.

"I've gotta tell ya a secret".


"I love ya"

"Well I got a secret for ya too"

I managed to find her forehead and whispered into it.

"I love ya too"

She started to scream and kick and squeal....


I smiled.

She suddenly stopped, turned around and said "Ok. Time to sleep".

Way to cut off the love kid.

open mouth, place foot

"Would you like to walk tomorrow morning?"

I don't know what got over me as soon as those words came out of my mouth, I wanted to run into the middle of the street and lay face first into the scorching pavement.

I had asked my boss out on a morning excersise date.

Her eyes opened up in excitement. "Thank you. I really would like that. I don't have a walking partner anymore. See ya tomorrow!!"

I had just sold my soul to the devil.

In Steve Madden's clogs.

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