Call me a little delusional, but I think there is a father at school who is checking me out.

One of those midlife fathers, who drives a sports car and always drives up just as the bell rings and I’m exiting out of the gate.

Let me just add: Ewwww

He’s one of those dad’s who had dedicated the later part of his life to make sure his torso is bigger than his head and that he won’t be able to put his arms side by side because of the size of his “guns”. He also has a punk haircut with blonde frosted tips.

Adding again: Double Eww

He eyeballs me as soon as he sees me and gives me his best: “I could rock your world baby smile”.

I try not to attack him with some Ms Clairol number #2 in dark adult male black.

I wanna scream out to him “What part of me screams out mid life crisis lover?”

So I try to zoom by as fast as I can and try to get in my car to put a abrupt end to his eagle eye.

Sometimes I just wish he were staring because I have some odd stain on my blouse, but is it not the case.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, a small particle of me or of any woman would feel slightly flattered that out of all the mom’s there, because let me tell ya, it looks like a fashion show in the mornings at that there school, someone puts an eye on ya…kinda feels nice.

I said “Kinda”.

Cause I’m not interested. He looks like Malibu Ken and we all know that poor Ken is anatomically incorrect. Very incorrect indeed.