The plans are already set. The dates are almost completely plotted out and the menu is read’ to go. Nothing extraordinary. I mean, besides the extraordinary people who will be with me. The longest Holidays in the world (we finish about the second weekend in January) with the people I love and hate. Bro, his girl, True, my aunt, Vader, Miss C, Empress and mini Empress Kamilia. I pitty the fool male in our presence.
Card games await, “briscas” (Spanish cards), UNO,coquito, and jokes (I’m already looking some up) and of course a little girl who will say:
Honey, we are Nieves (our last name), we were born with a Bose system inside the box of our lungs.
The presents are under the tree with no name tags because Miss C has acquired the Skull of Reading. So, bro, if you by any chance get Vader’s underwear by mistake, please do not try on, since I cannot return anything due to hygienic reasons.
Las night I watched my daughter in her first Christmas (I say “first” because it is the first where she experiments the Holidays in all their splendor), as she prepared gifts made by her little hands for everyone, gifts such as geometric figures cut out of colored paper and toys she is donating. I watched as she wrapped with such care and placed tags on every gift. I saw her illusion, that magic, that enormous heart, thinking about everyone, so everyone can be “happy”.
I thought that for the first time, Christmas will be celebrated at my house, with the people I most love, cherish and admire. We will celebrate in health, with a roof over our heads and delicious food. I thought about those ugly shorts my mom got me one Christmas because there wasn’t money for anything else. I thought about my destroyed illusion. I thought about my reborn illusion by a maternal love that covers everything, supports everything and heals everything. I thought about Vader’s words as she saw me parading about with my new Zune this week:
“I’m so glad you got that. I wanted to buy you one, but I didn’t have enough money”.
That gesture was enough and I almost forgot about those hideous shorts that I wore on that Christmas day so she wouldn’t feel so bad.
I thought about all the things I wish I could buy everyone; all the spectacular gifts in those catalogs across stores everywhere; all the gifts that not even my five pockets could afford to buy. I thought about all those gifts direct from the heart that we bought this year; all those handmade gifts, made by people dedicated to their art, craft, and their talent. I thought about all the glue I still have underneath my fingernails from all that gluing colored pipe cleaners and felt to our gifts for wrapping.
I thought of those who have nothing and my heart shrunk a bit. I thought of He who has given us all, and gave thanks.
Thanks for the Coquito, the presents, that superkickassspectacular dress I bought that fit and didn’t make me suicidal, my mom, my best friend, my family, my new niece and my daughter and her Christmas Illusion on her First Christmas.
And I asked God to direction to remain equally grateful and be able to see those small details of love towards us, every single day and asked for the ability to keep giving and loving and appreciating all that He has given us…and before I ended my prayer, I asked for one more thing…
I asked to keep giving us that winning streak we have at cards over my brother the ex-card champion…
Because winning feels good…and that’s all I want for Christmas.
Happy Holidays to all, pass the keys and put aside your differences and give the best of yourselves to He who gave the best to us…
Love,
Mary P. & Miss C.