So in walks Santa.

It was Miss C's last day of school and they bring Santa with presents for the kids.

Santa had a French manicure and was looking a tad slender. Out of all the Santa's we could get we got the Santa that is having sexual identity issues and is really Ms. Claus.

Miss C's eagle eye immediately knew something was off.

Santa also saw Miss C’s doubtful eye and called her up first for a gift to keep her busy while the other children received theirs.

She smiled stiff and odd.

She sat with her box unopened and looked on, scrutinizing Santa. I asked her what was wrong.

“That Santa. That Santa is weird. The suit is weird.”

I tried to convince her otherwise, but she wasn’t having it.

“The suit is weird. That isn’t Santa, that Suit is weird”.

I insisted she open up her present. When she did, to her dismay and my disgrace, it was a present she already had.

“I have this. I need a child. I need a child to donate this gift because I already have it.”

I tried to convince her to stay quiet, I pulled her aside.

“Listen to me, do you know what I got one year from Santa, some shorts from Kmart, that’s it. Some really bad shorts in fact. And your grandmother, she used to get fabric, 3 yards of fabric for school uniforms, so you take that gift and hush”.
It was no use.

She wanted to go talk to Santa, I had to hold her. She insisted but when she saw I wasn’t budging, she looked at me and said:
“I know that isn’t Santa. His suit is weird. If that was really Santa, he’d know I have this toy already. That is a weird suit and a weird Santa”.

And that was that.

We managed to exchange the gift for something different and Miss C let Santa go, since she knew that, that Transgender Santa with the French Manicure was not the real thing.

His suit gave him away. So Santa, if you are reading, take note and have Chanel draw you up a nice new suit for Wednesday evening, because Miss C ain’t having anything less than that!

Happy Holidays to all!