"It's cold out there" 

I had not heard a more accurate or real as hell phrase that so bravely and so boldly expressed in a nutshell what the dating world is...or relationships in general.

It is a cold, cold world as Gza would say.

Dating is hard. Dating with a kid is harder. Wanting to date, is a whole 'nother story.

I am single, by choice. I don't mean that in a cocky manner. It's not like I have a line outside my door of suitors wanting to date me (though I should, cause I am awesome)....all jokes aside...I have had my share of experiences in the dating world and have found some interesting, good people. Just not interesting, good people for me. 

Truth is, I still cannot come to terms with giving up control. But even as I sit and type this and even if I say in millions of conversations that all is swell and that I love my liberty...

I realized this past New Year's Eve, that I got cold, I got the chills. As the clock struck twelve and my lil' brother kissed his wife, I couldn't help but feel a bit cheated. I bit like, has this world gone mad? My little brother has a relationship. And I by choice, have decided to stay on the sidelines. I scrambled as far away as I could, in a room, and couldn't help fight a couple of tears as Empress called and told me "it will be better". 

So I am at this crossroad. Do I want it to be better? Do I wanna take the chance? Can I bare exposing myself and risk becoming one of THOSE people I loathe at times? The ones who talk all giddy about their other half and seem, at times, like conjoined twins. I did that and in retrospective realized I had lost myself; and am back on the road to recovery. 

So, yes, it does get cold out there. Yes, there are times I might feel like maybe I'm missing out and that I am walking a very thin line to becoming the crazy cat lady but then again, maybe I won't. Maybe there is a happily every after, with a conjoined twin...or not... 

 Either way, I brought my sweater, if it gets chilly, I'm ready. 

 Always ready.