So today I received a Multimedia Message on my phone.  You know the one with Gene Wilder, as Willy Wonka?  Where he says something smart ass along the lines of:

"So you...." blah blah....

you got to know the one, cause there are tons of them all over the place.
Well this one started off with the sentence, and I am gonna repeat it for the sake of writing, because believe me kiddos, I would rather not repeat this one...."So you have big tits...."

Insert long ass pause here.
Insert bewildered, whatthehellano face in here.

I mean, we are all adults, and I received some cray-cray texts and pics from my female friends and we kid around a lot...but this, coming from a member of the opposite sex; a member whom I don't consider in my inner circle of "ifyougetarrestediwilljoinyouintheslammer" friends.

I, the woman with a thousand words and quick wit, was astonished.  Flabbergasted.  Offended.

Should I answer and how?


It was all I could conjure that could every so eloquently speak my mind.

I was immediately accused of having no sense of humor.

Dude, do I look like I'm 17 and shop at Hot Topics?  I am a woman...a grown ass woman.  You are a grown ass man.  Ever wonder why you're still single?  Hint, muthableepin', hint.

I have a sense of humor, a dark, dry, sense of humor, but alas, I do have one.
I can be witty, funny, charming, comical.

I like humor.
I don't like crass.

There is a difference.

"CRASS".  There is a reason "ASS" is in that word.  It ain't no coincidence.

So I curse you technological Gods for creating Multimedia Messages and giving people the sense that crass and vulgar and cheap, equals funny messages to share with people you don't barely see or hang out with.

And I thank you because in that same world, I can choose to unfriend and delete such crud and block further bodily parts and function jokes from every invading my space.

I have bodily parts and functions...but my ASS has CLASS.

That's the difference.

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