The Cheese Line

So, I'm almost unemployed. My work hours have been drastically cut down to 20 hours per week, forcing me to solicit unemployment and other government aids, which I loathe, until I can find another job.

So, yesterday was my first official half day of work. After work I had in mind to stop by the Government Health Plan office and put Miss C on the Health Insurance, since I can no longer afford to pay her $200 a month private insurance.

I arrived at 12:30, made number 72 and they were on number 51.

I thought I might actually commit murder there.

Ongoing conversations of illness, coughing...rude employees...totally hell.

This one lady was telling me how when she lived in New York a man told her that for $5 he would suck something.

Only that she didn't say something, she named the part he would suck. And it wasn't a lemon.

One of the employees kept telling the little old ladies in canes to move faster when their names were called.

And at 2pm, they were still at number 62.

When they finally called my number, to which I literally sprung to the door to get away from the lady who was telling me she was remodeling her kitchen with Apple Decor, I was greeted by a lady who looked like she could summon death.

"Why are you here?"
Because I have no other important things to do, like let's say...find a job.
"Because I need to add my child to my insurance, now that my work hours have been cut off".
"Why wasn't she on the insurance to begin with"
"Because your insurance sucks and I could afford a private one".
"So you no longer can afford it?"
"No ma'am"
"So she doesn't have insurance?"

What part of NO INSURANCE did you NOT GET??

"No ma'am".
"Does she receive child support?"
"Well she has to be put on a separate insurance, because she receives an income".
"An income??? her child support is an income??"
(to which she rolled her eyes, like I'm supposed to know this crap.
She continued.
"I need for you to bring evidence of your income for the past three months".
"But for the past three months I was working full time, that makes no sense if I am soliciting a revision due to my fewer work hours".
"Do you want your revision in May?"
"Then bring those documents. If you want bring an unemployement letter. I'm thirsty".
"But how can you revise my case if you are going to be using my past three months income? It makes no sense".
"You date is May 27. Good afternoon".

What the FUDGE???

When I got in the car, this is what they asked to revise my case:

-Telephone, Cable or Electricity Bill with my name, as proof of residence.
-Letter from employer
-Social Security(which they have)
-Birth Certificate (which they have)

But alas, they sound all very reasonable.

Look what they asked for Miss C's case:

-Telephone, Cable or Electricity Bill with her name, as proof of residence.
-Social Security
-Birth Certificate
-Letter of Employer
-Voting Card or Driver's License as proof of ID

I got home almost at 4pm.
Nice way to spend my first day off.

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