Well folks it's a done deal. Miss C graduated from Kinder yesterday and of course homegirl did not go out without one last huge bang for all of us to enjoy.
Though, you can't completely blame the kid.
The ceremony was held at a park. The children were dressed as sailor. They were stuck inside a building looking at the park from afar. Kids with white shirts and sneakers longing for a slide or a swing, stuck inside a room with no A/C and extreme heat.
There were tables with toys, gifts and even a table with little beta fishes in tanks, to be given to the kids as gifts.
The thing was supposed to start at 8am but began at 9am. Miss C started to cry, she wanted to go outside, she wanted to play, she wanted to jump and run and get a fish.
Everyone settle down, grownups started to speak and give long speaches in fact, Miss C got restless, she began to scream...kick, throw herself on the floor. The parents of the 'normal' children looked on in horror. I tried to calm her down. She screamed louder: "Go Awaaaaaaay!! I don't want you moooooom!!".
The teacher took her outside, it began to rain. She cried harder.
"Now I can't go out to play. Poor Park. Poor Park, goodbye!! (she waved goodbye)".
Nothing like a little theatrics thrown in for good measure.
By the time the clown came on to do his thing, it was almost 11am, she was starving as well as the other kids.
"Children, what time is it??" asked the annoying clown.
"Time to eat" the children chanted. No lie.
I decided to sneak to the food bar and try to smuggle in some tostitos, because as the clown sang, Miss C had her own chorus: "I waaaaaaaaaaaaant Foooooooooooood!!!"
"You can't give her any food because the clown doesn't like it when kids eat during his act".
"Listen lady, this isn't Barnum and Bailey's, my kid's having a tostito".
When the clown was halfway through his show, something caught Miss C's eye...a lizard. She went after it and caught it. Yes, she is the Steve Irwin of lizards (last week she snuck one into the mall in a box).
Teachers looked on in horror...."Oh my goodness do you know she..."
"Yes, a lizard. I know".
She demanded a box for her new pet, screamed at anyone who came near it and by the time they reached her name, out of the 43 other kids, to hand out her diploma and medal, she wanted to get it with the huge box in hand.
I finally coaxed her to release the poor creature and as soon as she had her diploma in hand, me and True flew the coop. Even though there were Happy Meals waiting for the kids and more fun and games, we couldn't take it anymore. How the hell were we supposed to enjoy and eat with a screaming child and a live fish on deck??
She didn't wanna leave, but I promised I'd take her to the beach on Saturday.
We hit up Mickey D's for our own celebration, came home and filled up the pool.
As I filled up the pool, the teacher called: "You left early, there was more".
More?? Thank you but no thank you, how much more can a 5 year old take without some fun involved??
And as I remmemered some of the parent's faces of joy and tears this afternnon, I dipped my feet in the pool and thanked God this uptight, 4 hour long horrorfest was over.
Thank God there aren't gonna be more of those until 6th grade. I was exhausted and wanted to slap upside the geniuses behind this badly organized event. But, one thing is for sure, Miss C went out the same way she came in: WITH A BIG BANG!
The guests have left and my house is slowly going to it's natural orderly state. In the meantime, I haven't done much but make the best of my time with Miss C, including "Mommy & Me" makeovers...
I have three houseguests, four including True, a child at home on summer vacation and a broken down toilet.
That's why I've been out of a loop.
Pray for me.
I feel like a big ol' fart, cooking and cleaning and making sure the boys have enough SPF sunscreen on their way to the beach.
"Mom, your beautiful. You are fat and beautiful. You are fat, but you are not pregnant".
Well, there you have it.
The bad news is my daughter thinks I'm fat.
The good news is that I'm not pregnant.
No I haven't been engulfed in a massive wildfire brought about with the extreme heat wave that we've been getting. It would be a hellofaway to die, imagine all the front covers...but no.
And no, we aren't having a heatwave, it just feels like it, especially with the trickles of sweat down my neck.
Mother's Day came and went.
Very glad it went.
I am Scrooge.
I dislike Holidays and the shopping mayhem it creates.
True wanted to desperately get me a present. We spent the whole day (Saturday) from shopping center to shopping center. With Kid in tow. I saw many nice things, but the thought of making a line, taking off my clothes and trying stuff on, or prying that last summer dress from the hands of the old lady buying it for her daughter in law, was not appealing.
On our last stop, I was cranky, True was upset and Miss C was crying. I begged him to set me free from this obligatory Mother's Day hellfest.
"But, I want to get you a present. What are you going to say when people ask you what I got you, and it turn out I got you nothing?"
He was mad,I was hysterical and Miss C was screaming in the middle of Baker's, while I had a black platform sandal in my hand:
"I'm soooooo sorrrry mooooooom....I'm sooooorrry".
The sales clerks, laughed, "awwed" and thought that I was the meanest mommy on the block.
"You wanna get me something? Get me home"
I grabbed the kid by the arm and went home.
I happily got online and purchased 4 pairs of shoes, courtesy of True.
We spent sunday at Vader's with the heat and Vader itching to get us out by 5pm since she was going dancing.
I let it slide, since she did write me very long note stating all the wonderful qualities I had as a mom and how proud she was of my braveness.
I will have that coated in 24k gold and framed on her door, so she can remind herself, everytime she is about to say how crappy a mom I am.
On the work front, I have decided not to rush into anything. I am making enough money to cover my bare necessities and won't have any bill collector's at my door and I am actually *gasp* enjoying my time home with Miss C.
I have gone to several interviews, got two job offers and declined them all.
I actually signed onto one job, but I later evaluated the offer and decided that working for a man who didn't believe in the 4th of July and refered to Miss C as an "it" (As in "how old is it?") wasn't an option.
So I'm home by 1pm, 'dinner' is at 5pm and clothes and bedsheets are fresh and crisp with the smell of sunshine.
I also have the whole DVD collection of Sex and the City, so I'm brushing up on my fashion.
It's all good folks.
It's all good.
Now if I can only get the Yankees on a winning streak.
This is a cautionary tale to all future mothers, that means you Empress, so stay away...
What other way to start the celebration for Mother's Day than to stay up all night cleaning puke from your 5 year old.
Puke on the freshly place sheets, comfortables, pillows, pjamas, legs, arms and hair.
Then have a second screening of "Lé Puke" at 4:00am, followed by a special earlybird matineé of "Nowmytummyhurts".
Ah...the pure essence of mommyhood.
Hood in all it's components.
Happy Motherhood day!
Ship, we deserve a whole fudging decade!!
There will be ABSOULUTELY no talking about the Yankees until further notice.
Until they win.
We can talk about Boston, who lost last night.
I've gotta make lemonades outta somewhere...
I got a call yesterday.
For an interview this afternoon.
After a full week, a zillion resumes and three billion slices of chocolate cremé cake, an interview!
I was happy, but not too happy. Not good to get hopes up too soon.
My only dilema was: What to wear.
The climate here right now is hot and humid and offices aren't usually too on the formal side, unless it's a bank or something of that nature, dress attire is usually casual-dress. If that really does exist.
First off, I don't have any dress pants. I stopped buying dress pants, too expensive to have them tailored and trimmed. I can't find pants that fit nicely and that don't need half of the legs cut off due to my tall *cough* figure.
I own several summer dresses, too summery for a job interview.
Too many tank tops.
And definitely too many skirts.
I didn't realize how many I had until last night.
I didn't want to wear a skirt, because I didn't wanna show off my tattoo right off the bat...but it was either a skirt, or some capri jeans with a tank top that read:
"You suck and that's sad".
So I settled for a nice A line brown skirt, a burnt orange top and a jacket.
I'm not gonna go into too many details on the interview, though I'm dying too, but really, I get scared at the thought of who might be reading.
Let's just say, except for a couple of "yeah's" on my part, I think it went well. The benefits are great, but I'm not to thrilled, call it my sixth sense.
But if nothing else shows up, this might be my new job. So it might mean I'll need some pants pronto...and a hell of a good tailor.
"I'm sad. I'm fat and I'm ugly".
"Aww," ::with her doe eyes piercing into mine:: "...don't say that".
"But I am. I am fat and ugly. You said so yourself".
"...well, you're not ugly momma".
"I'm not fat and ugly".
"Let's just say you're not ugly."
Baseball is good. We sweeped this weekend. Unfourtunately I couldn't see any game because I was all over the place this weekend.
Running lots of errands, stretching my dollars and feeling mopey.
This job situation is looking bleak and I'm actually working more and with lesser time than when I was a full time employee.
Today I plan to do nothing.
I plan to ignore the gushing fluid that is leaking from the Death Van and I plan to sleep this afternoon.
I plan to eat nothing but chocolate cake and then cry myself to bed as I finally understand why Miss C calls me soft and fat.
It's one of those weekends, weeks and months.
I dropped the bottle of detergent this morning, breaking it and spilling half of it.
I forgot my wallet, license and money.
Had to turn around to Vader's to borrow 20 bucks.
I was late for my HUGE 4 HOUR work day.
And I'm just starving and groggy.
How are you managing?
Labels: Weekend Recap
"Mom I am skinny and firm. You are fat and soft".
Don't children just make your heart feel all warm and fuzzy inside?
Labels: Miss C