Out with a Bang

Well folks it's a done deal. Miss C graduated from Kinder yesterday and of course homegirl did not go out without one last huge bang for all of us to enjoy.

Though, you can't completely blame the kid.

The ceremony was held at a park. The children were dressed as sailor. They were stuck inside a building looking at the park from afar. Kids with white shirts and sneakers longing for a slide or a swing, stuck inside a room with no A/C and extreme heat.

There were tables with toys, gifts and even a table with little beta fishes in tanks, to be given to the kids as gifts.

The thing was supposed to start at 8am but began at 9am. Miss C started to cry, she wanted to go outside, she wanted to play, she wanted to jump and run and get a fish.

Everyone settle down, grownups started to speak and give long speaches in fact, Miss C got restless, she began to scream...kick, throw herself on the floor. The parents of the 'normal' children looked on in horror. I tried to calm her down. She screamed louder: "Go Awaaaaaaay!! I don't want you moooooom!!".

The teacher took her outside, it began to rain. She cried harder.

"Now I can't go out to play. Poor Park. Poor Park, goodbye!! (she waved goodbye)".

Nothing like a little theatrics thrown in for good measure.

By the time the clown came on to do his thing, it was almost 11am, she was starving as well as the other kids.

"Children, what time is it??" asked the annoying clown.
"Time to eat" the children chanted. No lie.

I decided to sneak to the food bar and try to smuggle in some tostitos, because as the clown sang, Miss C had her own chorus: "I waaaaaaaaaaaaant Foooooooooooood!!!"

"You can't give her any food because the clown doesn't like it when kids eat during his act".

"Listen lady, this isn't Barnum and Bailey's, my kid's having a tostito".

When the clown was halfway through his show, something caught Miss C's eye...a lizard. She went after it and caught it. Yes, she is the Steve Irwin of lizards (last week she snuck one into the mall in a box).

Teachers looked on in horror...."Oh my goodness do you know she..."

"Yes, a lizard. I know".

She demanded a box for her new pet, screamed at anyone who came near it and by the time they reached her name, out of the 43 other kids, to hand out her diploma and medal, she wanted to get it with the huge box in hand.

I finally coaxed her to release the poor creature and as soon as she had her diploma in hand, me and True flew the coop. Even though there were Happy Meals waiting for the kids and more fun and games, we couldn't take it anymore. How the hell were we supposed to enjoy and eat with a screaming child and a live fish on deck??

She didn't wanna leave, but I promised I'd take her to the beach on Saturday.
We hit up Mickey D's for our own celebration, came home and filled up the pool.

As I filled up the pool, the teacher called: "You left early, there was more".

More?? Thank you but no thank you, how much more can a 5 year old take without some fun involved??

And as I remmemered some of the parent's faces of joy and tears this afternnon, I dipped my feet in the pool and thanked God this uptight, 4 hour long horrorfest was over.

Thank God there aren't gonna be more of those until 6th grade. I was exhausted and wanted to slap upside the geniuses behind this badly organized event. But, one thing is for sure, Miss C went out the same way she came in: WITH A BIG BANG!

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