Tis the season...to be jolly...fa la la la la...la la la la...

yada yada yada.

Yeah...you read it in the other post...Christmas Season is here...

It is a time of peace..joy...happiness...togetherness and everyone is chipper and gay and full of glee...

Unless your the grinch...who doesn't give a rat's ass about X-mas...and frankly...sometimes...::sigh:: X-mas can be one big ball of suck. Don't get me wrogn people...I think X-mas is cute. I am so like into putting up the tree on Thanksgiving..and gifts and holiday music..and telling everyone "Happy Holidays!!", even if they stare at me with their laser beam eyes and burn off my eyebrows..

But along with the chipperness...along with the season..comes a few things that make me wanna keep celebrating Halloween and jump straight to St. Patrick's day...

So, to make up for last week's absent Friday's Four...I will add a bonus round of two more items...Ooh la la..

So here's Friday's Four: Holiday Dread Edition

1. Speeding up X-mas. There are already people with X-mas lights up and they still haven't eaten turkey....No wonder so many people die of heartattacks and get depressed during this season...some a-holes have nothing to do but speed it up a notch...

The Government has already given out the X-mas Bonuses to their employees so they could buy their stuff before our sales tax kicks in...(it kicked in today)...

2. So...the stores are jammed packed before schedule. Jammed packed as in...if tomorrow I wanna go to the supermarket I have to make sure I take at least one valium and do some mad Yoga before I head out. I must mentally prepare myself for people with their cars in the way...with blinkers on waiting for parking spaces...or people seeing you with YOUR blinkers on and them take yours...

3. The longevity of our Holidays. Here in Puerto Rico, we pride ourselves for having the "Longest X-mas on Earth". ::cringe:: Our Holidays begin right after Halloween and go into the 3rd week of January. We have Three King's Day on the 6th...the week after that we have "Las Octavitas" which is a post X-mas tradition, and the weekend after that we have the "San Sebastian Street Festivals"....

It's exhausting just typing...can you imagine the amount of family members you have to see and outfits you have to buy....speaking of which..

4. Family Gatherings. If you got a family...like mine, the Holidays are the enemy. Having a Legitimate Holiday shoved in your face and having your parents constantly remind you to that we ALL have to go to Aunt what's-her-face's-house...ya' know the Aunt you don't see all year, who happens to smell funky, have two children your age that you hate and whose water from the tap tastes like water from the tap with little ants floating in the cup...a plastic cup, from a Super-sized Combo from BK.

5. Shopping. Alas, I have done my X-mas shopping, but lifes goes on. I can't avoid the stores in their total state. I have to go grocery shopping and buy 'normal-non-holiday' items...Unless I plan to buy bulk loads that will last me like two months, the approximate time our holiday's last...

So...this means I still have to go out and go to stores and see how grown women fight over the last can of sliced pineapples, that either of them needs for their Ham...or see how 'happy' *note the term "happy" is used very loosely*, the cashier are with their Santa Claus hats, their bosses' make them wear, on their 2nd straight shift without lunch.

6. The Food. I know many Puertoricans who read this just fell back in their chairs and are prepared to set my on fire...

"How can you say that?? That's the best part of the Holidays!!"

Yeah?? Don't get ya' panties in a wad..
Speak for yourselves...
You have any ideas how many family gatherings are there during the Holidays?

Do you have any idea how homicidal it makes me feel to walk into to several houses and have the same menu served for two months..???

Rice, Roasted Pork (the kind that's been brutally killed and has a stake running through it..and spins like chrome wheels on a Pimp's Cadillac), Pigeon Peas , Potato Salad, or that Cold Macarroni salad they make...Morcillas, which is like Pig Intestines, cleaned out and filled with savory rice and pig's blood...yeah..right out of Fear Factor Folks..and for Dessert...this coconut-cinnamon concoction that looks like white jello and moves like jello: Tembleque...aka.....Jiggler...

Oh and who can forget: Arroz con dulce...Rice with sweets...Some strange rice pudding with cinnamon and raisins..

Yes..u read correctly..I typed raisins...so you can enjoy rice and raisins right after you finish the Pig's rice filled intestines...

Bon Appetite..!



What are your Holiday Dreads?