We interrupt the normally scheduled programming to bring this announcement:

SPOILER ALERT: Curtis Lemanski aka Lem is dead....Someone must pay..now I have to wait God knows how long to see who gonna pay for his death...The writers on The Shield are asses...making me cry like they did..

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Now back to our regularly scheduled programming...


Ha!! The things parents will do for their kids...


Friday when I picked up my Gold Medalist at school, she was awarded a free ticket to go see:

Barny's Circus Show
featuring: clowns, Baby Bob, My little pony and much much more!!!

No..I did not spell Barny wrong..or Baby Bob..that's how they were spelled on the flyer....immediately I worried...if it's spelled wrong from the get-go..lord knows what else to expect...But I figured..hey maybe they spelled it wrong purposely due to copyright protection..so I gave them the benefit of the doubt...

So we decide to take her cuz she was such a good girl at school on Friday and she did win First Place...so the Ex signs up for this Barny thingy..and we're off..

Now, the signs were there...the mispelling...the small coliseum..but did we see the signs???

NOOOOOOOO, cuz we're stupid hopeful parents...

Personally I don't like Barny,Barney or any other purple dino-shmore who sings in a high strung pathetic voice...but hey...it's better than letting Miss C watch Violent TV, where she has already learned the phrase "Kill..kill"...

So we go inside, get seated...and these clowns come out, do their show..and Miss C is like:

"you stupid ass clowns need to get the f*ck off this stage and need to pull out Barny before I yawn to death"...

So without further a do'...out comes Barny...

The x and I exchange glances of horror!!!

what happened to Barny..he looks like he's on heroin...he is sooooo skinny..and a tad too purple...he needs to put on sunblock when he hangs around at that park with the kids...

But Miss C is like in Shock...She doesn't even blink..

While me and the X are struggling to contain our histerical laughter...even the mom next to us was like:

"What the hell happened to him??"

Then it gets better...Barny brings out Baby Bob...and she's even worse...her face looks like it was in some bad plastic surgery and too much botox....tsk tsk..

So they sing..and dance..and blah blah..Miss C is still in Shock..and then...

Barny says he has some special friends he'd like us to meet (insert very concerned face) and out comes:

Homer and Bart Simpson...

OMG!! WTF???!!!!!

Since when is Barny chummy with Homer and Bart!!!!

So they come out...and now we're really laughing our asses off...and Homer is like dancing to :

Daddy Yankee's song : Gasolina

and is really getting his groove on..but I couldnt stop looking at his 'hair'..
u know how Homer has this receding hair line around his head..well his hair line was looking like the stripe on Charlie Brown's eternal yellow shirt...and Bart..well..let's say Homer probably strangled him too much cuz his neck was like really long....

So anywhoot...they leave...and barny takes a recess..then comes back again to introduce yet another special friend...

So now me and the X are scared of what might come out from those curtains...we've had too much excitement for one day...

Then out comes this thing....it was a cross between a horse and a pig..or a boar...it looked like some cross mutation experiment from the Island of Dr. Moreau...and it had this white long streak mohawk...something like a animal version of Billy Idol on Crack, no I take that back...it looked like the result of a cross mutation of Billy Idol on Crack with a Wild Boar...we didnt have a clue of what that thing was...until Barny announced it was:

My little Pony!!!!

(picture histerical laughter here....banging foreheads with palm of hands...and looking in complete disbelief)..

Shit..that ain't right..they ain't done justice to Miss C's favorite horses...

She didn't even have a clue to what that was....
(I will post pics later)

It sang some type of distorted song and left...
Then out came the last surprise..

Dora the Explorer...who had to be guided to the stage cuz her head was so big from all the fresh purified air she gets in whatever island she lives on...hawaii, maui..whatever...Puerto Rico it ain't...too much vegetation and the air is fresh..anywhoot..so she comes out with her fro'..sings, dances..blah blah...then Barny the acid version shows up..sings..and it's over...

and they didn't even sing the "I love you" song...

Now I cry, because we are emotionally scarred for life...I will never forget those images flashing before me, like some twisted torture device...and I quote a fellow blogger Carolyn:

"OHHH MY EYEEESSS!!! " and I add : "MY EARRRRSS!!"..

Now I am even more concerned about the welfare of my child...she is mute...she didn't even blink...I don't know if she has enjoyed the show..or is actually silently processing this for further discussing with her shrink when she is an adult...hey maybe we can get like a group discount or something...

The things we do for our kids...I've sat through Elmo Live, The Wiggles and now Children's Favorites on Acid...

What have u endured for ur kids lately???