It is what it is...

Times a we blink, as we think, as we sit in front of our computer screens, times change, people, the world, everything we know is never still, things are always in movement.

Today the movement has knocked on my door.

Miss C is at school. She kisses me goodbye. I know I will not make it in time for her "Field Day" (her first Field Day, where she will be in a race competiton), but that's life. So I drive off to court.

I have never stepped foot in a courthouse, and at 26 years old, didn't expect to step into one either. U see, when u get married, u don't go into a marriage believing your gonna get a divorce, unless ur Anna Nicole Smith, who by the way is lucky enough to be stepping inside Supreme Court.

Anywhoot, I get there, go the 7th Floor, my lawyer is not there. But there are many, many couples there. In Puerto Rico, divorces are on Fridays. It was sad to see so many people who have dedicated years into a relationship, now know that things are kaput. U could feel the tension. Some couples were nice, some were just plain hostile, but all, deep down inside carried the burden of failure.

Now let me add, without going into personal details, that hell, things ain't work out, and we acknowledged that, so we decided to split amicably. I am thankful for that. But it is sad, when two people who have dedicate their lives to each other, and have had children, end on tough terms.

Ok. back to my story. So here I am and no lawyers or Ex in site. I am starting to panic. So after a while, my ex shows up (he was dropping my mother off at Miss C's school) and he finds his lawyer...but MY lawyer is no where in I call his office: no answer...and I don't have his cell, so I call my boss and she calls him and she calls me back to let me know he is on his way up.
So in between time, I meet my ex's lawyer and he's like "don't worry maam' things are gonna be allright, nothing to be worried about..." Is there something I should worry about??? So now I begin to panic...obsessive compulsive Mary is like "should I panic? what did he say that? why should I worry? blah blah"

So I am here thinking how f*cking long does it take for my lawyer to get his ass up's 9am and things are about to i am looking about at all the faces waiting..and what do I see??

I see a familiar looking lady...she looks at me too, but doesn't say anything...Now, I could've sworn I have seen her somewhere, but I can't place my finger on it...but then...this guy comes up and says Hi to her..and when he turns around it's:


awww..ain't that nice..we do divorces in've asked for some kind of discount..and do a joint divorce..

but he doesn't see me and my lawyer is already we go over the questions...blah blah..
We go in and sit.

Order of Seating (very important for later) ex's lawyer ex's lawyer's wife (don't ask)
3.a lady old man ex

My lawyer sat with the other lawyer's, he was too good to sit with the common folk..doesn't want to get infected with the divorce bug..

So we're sitting down..big ass digital clock's a ticking...I know I am not gonna make it in time for Miss C's race...and my feet are begining to hurt, being that I wore my most fabulous shoes that my ex got me for X mas..(and yes, I looked them up online and I am shocked that these shoes are on My feet)...and no one told me that u had to park ur car in the House of Fuck and walk like a bitch and climb a zillion steps to get inside...anywhoot

So we're making lil jokes..and talking shit...and I'm cool, until they called our names. So I am struggling to remember my right and left, and raise my hand, swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth blah blah..

The judge starts asking the "what's ur name, is he ur husband blah blah questions" and it's really hard for me to answer cuz one of his eyes is like out of place...I mean like, Quasimodo type I am answering but I don't know what eye to look into ....all this while I am trying to contain the fact that NOW I am shitting bricks and my hands are clammy and I am wondering if my Ass looks fat from behind..since we are all standing before the judge in a room full of bitter people. Back to Quasimodo...I mean, the judge...

my favorite question asked by the judge:

Are u pregnant??? (haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaa..not unless I am the Virgin Mary)

So he finishes, I am glad we walk out shake hands, blah blah, and I haul my stilettos back to my car to see if I can make it in time for Miss C's race...

As I am running down the court steps, the old man who was sitting next to us in court, comes up to me with the old lady who was sitting besides him and asks me:

"Have you seen my brother in law???"

WTF? ur what?

"ur who?"

"my brother in law, ur husband's lawyer"...

My ex's husband thought that this was some type of sick field trip...

I'm like, dude, i have no idea, he was not my lawyer, he left or something...and I kept walking.

Then I got intercepted by a Jehova Witness that was in front of the courthouse and handed me some literature, being that now I am a divorced woman, I am surely going to hell for the sin of breaking a bond made by God and all. The title of the literature:

"Can this world survive?"

Very appropiate.

So get in the van, drive to the school, call teacher, tells me race is over, get to the school and what do i see:

"1st Place Blue Ribbon" on Miss C's shirt...

My daugher kicked the boys ass in school...she won!!!!

And I missed it dammit.

But my mom has told and retold me the story all day long....sounds like they had a nice time...

We went out to eat afterwards, and came home, Me, The X and Miss C, plopped down in bed (he on the mattress on the floor) and went to bed...

We all had our levels of excitement today and needed to disconnect ourselves from the planet...

The X left eventually and now it's official:

Miss C and I will conquer the world...well, she already has a crown and kicks ass in we are well on our way...

It is what it is folks, and what is today, will no longer be tomorrow. So live it up, cuz times are changing faster than you can read this post.

Have a great weekend!! I 'm gonna go recharge!!

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