4 fingered Mary

I almost lost a finger this morning.

Did I cut it off?
Did I jam it in a door?
Was I in some freak accident?

No. Not really.

I had a 5 year old bite it to the bone.

My index finger.

of my writting hand.

It is swollen and it hurts like hell.

That'll teach me to make her swallow her vitamins.

take that you wicked witch!

*chomp chomp*

True tried desperately to help...

"It's either your vitamins or you're mom is gonna spank you! Which is it?"

To which Miss C coyly answered:

"The spanking" and she approached us prepared to be spanked.

I jammned my finger in her mouth to make her swallow. She bit, hard. And would not open her mouth.

I howled in delight.

I take it in stride. I don't drink coffee, so that was my picker upper.


Saturday we all went to have a quick dinner at a local fast food place. We were already seated when this lady at the register was having a fit. I don't know exactly what happened, but the manager was trying desperately to calm her down and meet her needs.

"I'm trying to help you, ma'am".

Ma'am decided to stay and eat.

Hey. If you're upset and not satisfied, leave.

But don't bitch and moan and whine for the entire stay.

Forcing me to bite my tongue and hold my hand in order to prevent me going to the table besides me and bitchslapping you into common sense.

"This bitch..! blah blah..I'm a paying customer...You'll see what I'll do....blah blah blah"

*rolls eyes*

But she kept on going. So....

I got up from my table and I slapped her.

Ok. that really didn't happen.


these are the moments I wish for the wrath of God.
Or for her to choke slightly on her Frosty.

Which ever comes first.
It's all good.

I would have loved to give her one of my good fingers....
in a bad way.

Thought of the day: Crocodiles have a gazzillions tons of force in their jaws....but they ain't no match for crock-a-toddler Miss C.

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