i have not been feeling well these past few days.

i dont feel good.

i dont feel my usual self.

i feel like the 'me' has been sucked out and replaced with some strange, stressed, angry version of the person i used to be.

even before church and true and God, i wasn't this strange.

please bare with my ramble.

i dont feel like doing much lately.
the only thing i wanna do is lie down and sleep.

a lot.

this morning when i dropped Miss C off at daycare my heart slight broke.

"i dont wanna, i wanna stay with you mommy!!"

oh baby.

i wanted so badly to whisk you away and go home and stay in our pj's and watch tv.

but i had to work.

i think it's an indicator that i need a vacation.

i need to unwind.
maybe that is all i need.

but my actions and attitudes are beginning to affect those around me, and that's where i begin to worry.

i've charted into the waters of: 'push-everyone-who-gives-ashit-about-you-away'.


with no paddle.

forgive me if i'm not my usual self and forgive me more if you've stumbled on this dreary entry when you were having a great day. carry on.

nothing to worry about.
i'll be ok.

it's just that all sucks right now.
big time.

and just like Miss C, i'd do anything right now to crawl into Vader's lap and let her whisk me away with kisses and "everythingsgonnabeallright's"

everything is gonna be allright.

i'm gonna go get my shizz together.

have a good one.