Before getting into my post I would just like to say...

The Yankees beat the Red Sox last night...

We've been sucking hard core this season....but we are no longer in the last spot in our division...we'll see how it all works out...

****

Well, today was Miss C's last day at school. Technically Monday was her last day. I had to go today to pick up her stuff and say goodbye to an excellent teacher and human being.

Her teacher, since day one, has been a great one!, she has helped Miss C in so many areas, that I know that without her, we would have never gotten this far.

All the assistants in the classroom were equally great...kind, patient, loving...

I gathered all of Miss C's belongings and quickly said "See you guys later" and then I looked at the teacher "We have a date on the 18th of July!!" (We are going to go see Gwen Stefani in concert together). I can't do mushy 'goodbyes'.

I walked out with her bag of stuff got in my car and sat there and cried.

Tears are beginning to build up as I type.

Miss C was there for two years!!!!!!

She will be starting a new school on June 4th, with some teachers and personnel I particularly didn't like very much when I went to visit on Monday.

I cried because my little one is going to be removed from her comfort zone into completely uncharted waters. I cried because I have to learn to let go and let her roam free a little. I cried because my little one is no longer so 'little' and that the uncertainty of her future, which is unfolding as I type is nervewracking....I cried because I don't know what lies ahead and I want to make sure I'm there when it unfolds. I cried because I would like to keep her in my house, in my grasp, FOREVER, where no mean teachers and snotty-bitchy personnel will deal with her. I cried because I worry, maybe too much.

And as I sat there in that parking lot with a bag full of two years of struggle, tears and eventually many joy and progress, I kept repeating the words everyone is telling me to remain focused, calm and fret-free:

"It's for the best".

The end of an Era is here and it's time for Miss C and mommy alike to move on, to bigger and better things.

And I drove off, crying, and praying that it would all work out, with as few tears as possible.

And then God told me:

"it's gonna be ok".

::shrugs::

::sighs::

Hey, who are we kidding? I'm pretty sure the first week Miss C will cry, scream and go through all sorts of phases of adjustment, but heck maybe I'm wrong and maybe she'll fit in right from the get-go.

But I pray all her services, such as therapies, transportation and other things are quickly resolved so she can get right back on track....and mommy can finally breathe normally....

keep ya' fingers crossed...