The End of an Era...Part Deux

It wasn't originally intended to have sequel, but that is the way it goes.

I don't think I've mentioned that True is beginning to move his DJ equipment into my house.

Well, Our Future House.

So I have tables with speakers and turntables and cables, and a desk, and soon there will be crates with records, and he's brung along some wall hangings and etc. etc. etc.

He's talked about getting a new kitchen table and redoing the wall in the kitchen and, and, and.

Last night as we dragged up his desk up my stairs and I pushed it way back into my hallway, until I could find a suitable place for it, True asked me where to put some wall hangings he had bought along.

I went blank.
It was 11pm, I had just carried a desk up a flight of stairs, I had to put Miss C to bed, I hadn't had dinner, I was sweaty and the last thing I wanted was to figure out where to hang stuff up.

He placed one of the thing-a-ma-bobs on the chimney.

I went on automatic pilot and removed it : "that will NOT go there".

*silence*

"Ok, we can figure where to put them some other time".

I didn't mean to be rude and I sure don't mind his stuff being moved to my place, afterall if we get married, that's what's it's gonna be like. His stuff is gonna be moved into our house.

But hey, my OCD kicks in and I go in meltdown mode....I see confusion, a change of habitat, a change of my 'normal life'. I have to come to peace with my house being re-structured and not see it as my house being "invaded".

I have to come to terms that within a short amount of time I will be waking up with another human being close to my age, rather than a Toddler who could care less if I strike up a conversation at 7am.

I don't think True sensed my level of 'meltdown' until he mentioned buying a Curio Cabinet to display his Coffee Mug collection.

::arched eyebrow::

"No, we will have no such thing".
"But look at my collection! This one is from Colombia!".

I could care less if the President of Zimbabwe gave him one on his deathbed.

"I haven't drawn up any lines as to the things that are being transferred into the house, but I think I'll start now".

"Ok. But when we buy a house and I get a room to myself, I'll put them there".

Fine with me.

He asked me if I was uncomfortable and if I wanted him to take his stuff back. One of the main reasons his DJ equipment is being moved, is so he has more space and time to practice. His house is a little on the small side and he doesn't have enough room to set up his stuff comfortably. I don't want him to take his stuff back. Eventually his stuff is gonna be there when we marry, so might as well start adjusting now.

It's just hard. Soon I'll have to share my toothpaste with someone and wake up next to someone and Godforbid *gasp* talk to someone in the morning, my mornings, when sometimes I just wanna be in silence. My house is no longer going to be My house, it's gonna be Our House. And I can no longer make decisions based on what I like, now I have to take an extra person into consideration.

I'm not a selfish prick.
so stop rolling your eyes.

After almost 4 years I'm gonna be sharing again.

After almost 4 years of living in a static, statuesque state of being, my items, my refrigerator, my bathroom and eveything else is changing.

Life is being breathed into my home.
And I'm freaking out.

But deep inside I'm happy. Ironically enough. I'm happy that it's him and not some madman or Godforbid that my re-structuring was due to having my parents move in.

So, it's another end of an Era.
The end of eating in bed and leaving it undone and hogging sheets and long bathtimes because no one is waiting for the bathroom and items strategically placed which remain never touched and in statuesque-like state, are over.

I have to start welcoming an era of breakfast at the table with a family, sharing bathroom space, being considerate and understanding that the "Me" is gone..and now it's a "We".

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