Don't u ever wish u went MIA...aka...missing in action....don't u have days when u don't wanna even answer ur celly..and just wanna ball up and not have anyone know about u, not have to deal with toddlers demanding ur every second for attention, of not having to make small talk with people, and go completely into "I dont wanna talk to anyone or see anyone mode"....this is looking out to be one of those 'weekends'..
but as I come to think of it...I have been MIA...for years i think...it's funny how certain events can trigger u into this defense mode...and change u forever...yeah i'm talking bout kids...but in my case it was more than having my daughter....
u see...

a very long time ago..in a very foreign land....(actually here on this island)...i was a semi-artist...lord dont let me go into details..but i was sort of in the music business....i did the whole clubbing..studio..show thingy...and it was the most fabulous part of my life...a part i never wanted to forget...

and poof...all of a sudden i wanted to forget...after having Miss C...i wanted no part in that life anymore...i think i did one more show...cuz i got inspired..but then the momentum was gone...i hated having been a part of that 'era'....i would not know how to explain it...but i no longer wanted to be a part of it..and wanted no link to it whatsoever...which meant i stopped speaking, contacting or seeing people, lots of them very good friends, due to this....I completely went MIA...people would ask about me...ask me to keep in touch..whenever i was 'spotted' somewhere..but I just didnt wanna...

i know remember those times, like events that happened in a very far away place...really surreal like...

this weekend...i have felt this way again...i kinda of dont wanna answer my phone..dont wanna talk to anyone..and go completely missing...for this weekend...i dont wanna talk about, autism, housechores and the lack of life i am having at this point...i dont wanna talk to anyone and explain why i have not wanted to answer my calls...etc...

everynow and then..it is good to delete...i just dont know up to what point it is healthy to do so..and lose very important people that are attachted to the package, called ' my life right now '...

bare with me while i ramble on about this ....