I don't know if I have mentioned in my profile or anywhere about that Miss C (aka my daughter) was diagnosed with Autism (www.autism.org) at the age of 2 (that story makes for a great post...I just have to sit down and take the time to write it). Since then u can probably imagine my life...doctors, exams, specialists, psychologist, blah blah...teachers...special schools blah blah..

It is not easy..but I am very pleased with the results of my hard labor...and the labor of her 'team'..(her therapists and docs)...she has progressed very well..and most of her severe autistic traits have been completely extinguished...for example..the hand flapping...the violent tantrums..(this one is still lurking about every now and then)..the biting...the rocking in the chair..the zoning out...but I am aware I still have a very long and steep road ahead if I want her to be a full-fledged independent adult when I am no longer here...

Tomorrow Miss C will finally have her first psychological evaluation in a year...also the first coming directly from the Department of Education...(her previous evaluations have been paid from my pocket...my very dry broke pocket might i add)...I am a little concerned...the people at the dept.of.edu. arent the most reliable people...and sometimes they can't see the real problem..for example..Miss C will go in, and be very well behaved..and they will tell me nothing is wrong...I don't think u can conjure up a complete idea of how bad any child with disabilities, situation is with just viewing him/her for 40 minutes...I also don't like the idea of having people poking her around more..asking me the same questions I know by heart.."how old was she when she crawled, walked, talked, rolled over..blah blah" "when did u notice something was wrong?"..blah blah...

I just want to work with her..I just want them to cut to the chase and make a good ABA (applied behavioral analysis) {www.autismteachingtools.com}, program for her..and stop asking me the same god forsaken questions that are already posted up in her 3 inch thick portfolio...

I also worry so much..I worry they will tell me "nice work mom..but she isnt gonna get much better than this" or "mom..(they call u 'mom' and that ticks me off) u've done a pathetic job"..
like I once was told in her initial evaluations...the 'specialist' (she obviously worked with animals prior to working with children) told me that I was a crappy mom because i did not have miss c. in private speech and occupational therapy, and only relied on the therapy given by the dept. of.edu., ...i cried that day so much ..but i realized i didnt have her in private therapy...not because i was a bad mom...but because i didnt have the means, both economically and transportation wise...

anywhoot tomorrow is a big day...i'm scared all these therapies might be too much for her...2 speech, 2 occupational, 1 psychological, 1 kinesiology, plus a specialized school...we will see how it goes....i mean a 3 year old can take so much...u know...


ttfn..