feelings of gutting some 'female dog' like a fish and throwing her remains in the NYC harbor...


True at this moment is having Starbucks with the friend.

the gal pal I cannot stand.

The gal pal's sister wanted to meet up with True to coordinate some music for a fashion show...

True tells me this like 10 minutes ago on his way there.

The lil' sis is tagging along..

Ain't it a shocker..

"I didn't know she was also going"

"Oh puleeze..I could have told you the gal pal was coming along...she has a thing for you...."

"I'm not gonna ruin my day over this"

"Yeah...well you've ruined mine"

I hear him saying hi and ordering his mocha-whatever the crap....

"Enjoy your coffee with your friend".

I hung up.

Jesus....My face is so red and so hot...and my eyes are filling up with tears as I type. I am so angry.

So completely angry. enfuriated.

What if the tables were turned around?????!!!!

what if I was the one grabbing coffee with a guy pal he didn't like????


I know I shouldn't harbor any feeling of hatred and dislike...but I can't help wanna meet her face to face and give her a piece of my knowledge.

I have the urge to get in my car drive up to Starbucks and say "HI".
But it would seem to Psycho of me.

So as he sits and sips his coffee with a woman who isn't me and can't keep her hands to herself...I sit in front of my computer trying to hold back the urge to forget how much I have progressed with my Anger, and just go and do something about it.

It's hard not to harbor this feeling of complete and utter frustration and rage and anger and just plain "i-hate-u-so-much-right-now-i-could-
pull-out-your-brain-through-your-nose-with-a-hanger"

::sigh::

I'm gonna go to lunch and sit in the parking lot and sulk.

or buy a new pair of shoes.

or call Empress.

Shit.