Um...I don't have a scanner so I'll just re-type:

"I have understood what the solution to this problem is. I am going to kill myself today. I understand that I am the problem and that this is the best way to finish it all. May God forgive me and may he punish all of you people who helped her. May it forever rest on your consciences."



My Dad

This was the note left on the door this morning of their house.

My mom moved out yesterday. He came home early and caught her. He didn't know about the moving out bit. He suspected it. But shit hit the fan when he actually saw her. My family had to mobilize my mom quick before he went crazy and threw all the furniture out.

I came home to a home sans mom, furniture outside and neighbors busy poking about.

My mom had called me on my way home to tell me about the move.

asked if I can bring over her bedsheets which she couldn't take out in time.

I tried. But Vietnam was on a drinking spree and I did not want him to think I was some sort of accomplice.

Miss C. Smart cookie. Sensed something was wrong immediately and wanted Vader.

I had to take her in to show her Vader wasn't around.

Vietnam was locked in the room.

*knock knock*

No answer.

*bang bang*

No answer.

Miss C starts to cry.

"Dad...if you're still alive open up the door so Miss C can verify that Vader is not here...If your not alive..then I guess these previous instructions are void. We'll probably guess the later by the stench".

He opened up the door.
Stood there in his drunken stupor, smelling of wine and beer and kaos.

Looked at us.

Said nothing.

Held my daughter.

Got my butt upstairs.

In another part of our town, simultaneously, two friends were also having tough times.

I decided to go to Empress' house. We were both going through hell these past few days, and today was the pinacle of both our hells. A visit to her house would do us both good.

We bonded over chicken, fries and hugs.

And it was better.

Once home I was greeted by Vietnam who had a look of rage in his face that scared the crap out of me...he stood right in front of me and asked:

"Where were you???? Were you seeing your mother??!! Are you helping her out??!!"

"That isn't any of your business...but if you must know I was at Empress' house and I want no part of this war."


I crawled up to my house.

True called. I asked him to come over. I needed the companionship. He came through. I wouldn't expect any less.

I am not sad. I haven't even shed a tear.
And that's amazing.
I am actually in peace.
Worried...but at peace..
at the same time..
weird, huh?

Vader called this morning...her sadness was very noticeable...she wants me to visit tonight with Miss C. I'm thinkin' bout' it.

On a plus note..if Vader stays away..she'll be more keen to take care of Miss C and I can have more KID FREE outings...

I have to look on the positive side.

And if by chance Vietnam does kill himself, my conscience is clean...very clean.

October 24th.


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