Yesterday, I decided to go see Vader.

Obviously when I got home and I saw Vietnam I couldn't tell him I was going to do that, so I got dressed real spiffy and told him we were headed out to church.

Vietnam isn't as stupid as I thought he was.

"Church?? today?? since when?"

"Um...like...I need to pray...ASAP".

We left it at that.

We arrived at Vader's new quarters..aka Death Star Part Deux (D.S.P.D.) and she was very happy to see us. And Miss C...well Miss C was completely estatic.

D.S.P.D. isn't half as bad as I thought it would be. Hell, I'd live there.

She had food waiting for us and went out of her way to make us feel welcome.

I could tell by looking at her that she was trying to play it cool.

After a short while I called my P.A.B. (Punk Ass Brother) who was supposed to bring a pillow and her blankets the night before, and told him his ass better get down here pronto...

So P.A.B. shows...with NOT ONE...BUT TWO...

HICKEYS!!!

Vader...who never seems to lose her sense of wickedness goes:

"So...now you're dating a Vampire??!! Oh Lord...You are using Condomns right?? Please confirm this to me...Are you taking any drugs??? Drugs are bad. Say no to Drugs..ok? please?!!"

My take: ROTF!!!!
P.A.B.'s take..

"If you women are gonna keep badgering me...I'm out!!"

About 20 minutes into our visit, True called...was on his way to my place, so I gave him directions to the D.S.P.D...

About 10 minutes later, we were all on my mom's bed watching TV, making fun of my P.A.B's hickeys.

Then after all the nice peace and quiet...All Hell broke loose.

When it was time to go 'bye-bye' guess who wasn't havin' it?

Miss C.

"MY GRANDMAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! NOOOO!! PLEASE..I WANT MY GRANDMA!!"

We were all heartbroken because she's the one who is taking this whole ordeal the toughest...poor kiddo.

We got her in the car...True behind me in his..and Miss C just jumping all over the place...she bit my arm turning a corner...bitchslapped me going up the hill, and the all-time-hands-down favorite:

As I was driving, she managed to open the side door and once I hear the wind coming in and looked to my right, her upper body was out the door....thank God my reaction was stealth-fast and I grabbed her ass by the collar of her shirt, managed to pull over and not die of complete and utter terror.

This is the one where Miss C opens a door...

My heart literally plummeted.

My daughter almost fell out of the moving Death Van.

True parked besides me and we all tried to calm her down and me down and everyone down.

We managed to get her home, not without suffering two or three more bitchslaps, about a half hour of more crying and hearing my dad say that my mom was a selfish bitch who has caused severe trauma upon Miss C.

::sigh::

When we finally managed to calm her down, True and I brought her upstairs, settled her in and she fell asleep beside us.

True spent the rest of the night preventing my cardiac arrest, making jokes, being funny-borderline-obnoxious, but he got the job done.

Only a few tears, a big scare and a huge headache.

I don't know when and if I will be able to go back to Vader's after this.

But we're alive...we're kicking and my Friday's Four is coming....

So....it's all good...

Right?

Of course it is.