"Luke...I am your father..."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

That was initial reaction everytime I realized that my mom, was my mom.

It's not easy being the daughter of Vader.

Yesterday...was the last straw.

I called Vader to ask her if we had any hotdogs, because I wanted to have a ballpark menu for the first game of the Yanks Post Season.

"Are you having guests?" Vader
"Yes."
"Oh, so tonight is gonna be an allnighter..with Miss C going to bed late".
"Mom. I'll worry about Miss C. kay'?"


I decided I had to stop ignoring this behavior and start addressing it.
I decided I'd do it in a civilized manner and if things got out of hand, just walk away.

I got home and told her we needed to speak.
She scoffed, gave me her best "you-wanna-talk-to-me-do-u-know-who-i-am" look, and sat down.

"Mom. I want you to know that I love you. And I am not judging you in any shape, form or manner, but your attitude needs to stop. And I need to be treated as the adult I am. As the responsable Adult I am. I take care of my things, of my daughter, of my house. I need you and dad to understand that you can't just butt in my life and give me unsolicited advice. When I want it, I'll ask for it.."

She cuts me off..

"If I can't meddle in my children's lives, who's life can I meddle in..!!"

"No one, but your own, mom".

"Your attitude also needs adjusting. You're miserable, unhappy, depressed. Fine. But don't take it out on us. Don't drag us into this hole you have created for yourself..." blah blah blah blah

After about half an hour she was still sitting in the couch with her head down, tears streaming down her face. In complete silence. I approached her, hugged her and asked her if she needed to say anything. She remained quiet.

As I started to leave she said:
"So now I'm the bad guy".

"Jeez mom...I'm sad to see that I've wasted half an hour of speech and you didn't get my message".

I left.

I called True to tell him and his take:

"She'll come to talk to you sooner or later...You've opened the door to communication".

True to Form...no pun intended..
She walked up half an hour later.
Sat in my rocking chair.
Tried to pick a fight.
Had no sucess.

"YOU...HOW DARE YOU SAY I MEDDLE IN YOUR LIFE...YOU HAVE ALWAYS DONE WHAT YOU WANT...YOU ARE STUBBORN..AND HARSH AND A BACKTALKER...!! YOU TALK ABOUT MY ATTITUDE PROBLEM, BUT YOU DON'T SEE YOURS!!!"

I turned around, quietly. Raised my voice a tad, because she was screaming in MY HOUSE.

"I would appreciate if you lower your voice, because I don't want to fight. I know I am not an easy person. I know I have an attitude. And as far as making my own decisions, I'm glad I did. That molded me into who I am now. You don't get what I am trying to tell you, I don't care about the past. I want a clean slate with you. I want to be your friend, I want to hold your hand. I want you to respect me, for I have earned that, don't you think? I am happy. I am at a point in my life where I am finally happy. I am happy with True. And you need to respect that, even if you can't be happy for me...understand?"

"Happy? You think I don't want you to be happy..you think I don't love you guys?"

"Loving us is more than serving a hot meal and washing our clothes...when was the last time you told us you loved us?"

Silence.

"I could die tomorrow. You know that, don't you?"

Silence.

"Well...how can I be happy for you if you keep on jumping from guy to guy?!"

WTF?

"Um..jumping from guy to guy???...::cocks eyebrow::...Did you open your eyes when you were born and automatically fall in love with dad and knew he was the "guy"? Were you ever young? Were you ever in love? I am happy and it doesn't matter how I got there. So please respect that".

Silence.

"I'll be here. I wanna help you. My hand is there. It's up to you to take it".

She stood up.
I hugged her.
Told her I loved her. She sobbed some more.
I told her about church and True and the things I've been going through.
She said she was happy for me.

As she was walking down the steps, True arrived he said hi..
And for the first time, she genuinely acknowledged him.

During our game she even came up and talked to us for a bit...

True and I were then left to watch our Yankees win.

Popcorn and cokes were our snacks, Me in my ballcap...Him in his Jersey...True is my boyfriend, Vader is my Mom and our team kicked ass.

It doesn't get any better than this.