Out of Place

Let me ramble.

Bare with me.

Out of Place.
I've been feeling like this for the past few days.

How can this be so, you ask?
Just a few weeks ago I was oozing with love, happiness, joy, and peace.

I am stil in love. I'm still happy. I still feel joy.

I kind of still feel peace.

I can't exactly pinpoint what is wrong.
But I'll tell you this:

I feel out of place.

Sometimes I think I think too much.

Sometimes I think I am not ready for some stuff.
But ready for so much more.
I feel like I am ready for change.
But scared of it.
I think I can handle it all.
But sometimes I think I shouldn't.

And I feel out of place. I feel I am trying too hard. I am afraid.

Of what?
Maybe losing myself. Whatever is left of if anyways. I am scared of losing my identity, whatever it may tbe. I cannot take that risk. My identity is all I have left.

Don't I wish that it could all be so simple?


Empress' take:
"Snap out of it".

She's right.

I need to snap out of it.
And re-focus.

I need some rest, some sleep, some quiet, some enlightment...sans Miss C. I need to connect with my peers and re-connect with myself, since I sometimes forget who I am.

Don't we all.

I need to re-structure my game plan, because I knew days like these were only a hop, skip and jump away, before they began to loom.

I need to carve out a niche for myself so that I don't feel out of place, because I already have my own.

Taken from Dilbert...

"I plan to make bumper stickers for pedestrians that say: How am I walking?, call 1-800 Blah Blah Blah...if you call that number and report people, they'll never again be allowed to purchase shoes. The best part about hating people is that I never run out of great ideas".

Amen. to. dat.

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