Yesterday as I scrambled to get my shizz together..before True came...(yeah, because the day before he showed up and I was in my best tattered-beat-up housewife PJ's)...I stumbled upon a lil' itty bitty slimey baby lizard in my room...

Just as I stumbled upon it...Miss C was entering and was going to accidently step on it..

"Noooo!! be careful...it's a baby!!"

She quickly tried to scramble for dear life..

Me, being the excellent mommy I am (insert hysterical laughter here)...I tried to take this moment to teach her the valuable lesson of not fearing little creatures and loving them because they are God's creatures...

"Don't go away..see? it's harmless..it's a baby..and it's lost it's mommy".

Miss C crouches near..

"A baby? Awww...don't worry we'll find your mommy"

And then she proceeds to show the baby lizard her toys...and to touch it..

"Ok...Miss C..we don't touch it...Ok? We just leave it alone..Ok?"

"Ok"

"How do we treat animals?"

"With care...and with love"

"Good"

My mommy duties are done here.


So I go take a shower and after I get ready True arrives....

"What is Miss C talking about?"

"What??"

"She's saying something..."

I turn to Miss C..who is in her room..crouched over something...

The baby lizard.

"What is it doing in here? Didn't I tell you not to touch it? Didn't I tell you to take care of it with..."

"...love..."

I crouch down to pick it up to move it out...and Voilá...it's dead..

My daughter has murdered an innocent lizard...

I go into all the blah blah's about how she should have not done that ..blah blah..

And then...I make the biggest mistake of my mommy life...I throw the baby out to the yard...

"My lizaaaaaaaaaaaard..............MY BABY LIZARD!!!!!"

The whole waterworks parade....

So after, Oh let's say...30 minutes...a coke...two flowers and plenty of goofy dances on behalf of mommy...the lizard was history...

And so was my dignity after doing the "Cock-a-Doodle-Do-Wiggles-dance" in front of True...

I'm going to sue for fraud..this is so not what I signed for...

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