The weatherman predicted massive hysteria, downright depression and misery.

The weatherman for once was right.

But this time,

I. bought. my. umbrella.

And used it.

I got home yesterday to find my mom's kitchen in complete K-AOS: rice everywhere, broken dishes, things boiling on the stove and my mom just arguing with herself.

I sat my ass down and tried to have a decent meal, but she just kept going.

And then the top off the seasoning came off and she poured almost half a container of it into the beans.

"Now the devil won't eat my beans!!!"

She said this about 10 times in a row.

While she stated that "Lucy" wouldn't eat her beans, my bro, poor lad, came in with such a chipper attitude and when he saw the hell that was raising in the kitchen he looked at me for answers.

I gave him my best: I-know-exactly-the-same-things-you-do-nada look

Then my dad came in arguing as well.

"Bro, don't drink the tap water".

My mom began to cry over the beans. Like if they weren't salty enough.
"I wanna die. I want God to kill me. If I could only die".

::sigh::
Hate to break it to ya' but God doesn't take in those kind of requests. He's a very selective DJ.

I am truly genuinely worried about her state of health and the things she might be capable of doing, but I have consumed all my resources trying to reach out to her. I am worried, but calm. Let things be. Hopefully she will realize she needs help. But you can't make anyone get help, who doesn't first acknowledge they need it.

So for now, I think I'll make my own dinner and retreat early to my pad. That toxicity is not good for me and Miss C, neither are salty beans.

******
In amusing news, I haven't been watching any games since they are not televising any, due to Football. But I'm glad we secured our spot to the playoffs, because we have lost the past two games against Tampa real bad. Although we got revenge last night and kicked their butts 16 to 1. White Sox are officially out of the playoffs and Detroit and Twins made it.

Ok. let me make this parentesis, the guy who works with me just came in my office and asked me:

"Do you know who Abraham Lincoln was?"

"Um. Yeah?"

"An asshole wasn't he?"

Um. sometimes ignorance isn't bliss.

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In even more amusing news....
I have this gal pal...This gal pal who is a bit liberal in her life. Liberal meaning not afraid to be blunt on certain subjects, et. al.

We talk quite a bit and sometimes her stories are more hilarious than mine.
She told me one yesterday that almost made me .....throw up a cookie I had for dinner. So I will feel free to share...she doesn't have access to my blog and it's all in anonymous fun.

G.P. (Gal pal) is very 'for' safe sex. Which I totally applaud. But as she tells me she has never had the need to go buy condoms herself. Her partners usually bring them along and if they don't well they just don't get the "goods", usually.

So she tells me she has this Guy. This guy she happens to like alot. And well...push came to shove and she knew they needed to protect each other. She didn't know, for the first time in her life, how to approach the subject with her male friend and decided she would be brave and buy the condoms herself.

"What's the big deal anyway?" she bantered.
"It's good I want to be responsable".

Heregy Heregy.

So she tells me she goes into this pharmacy in the middle of rush hour. Tsk Tsk. And decides to get her lil' shopping basket and go get some sodas and crap and then heads out to get what she had to get.

"Oh My God!!!!! Can't they just have like regular, buy-me-for-sexual-protection-condoms!! NOOOOO They have like all these brands, types, styles...too confusing for me....They actually intended on having me read this stuff, in the aisle, at rush hour, with No glasses??!!"

Notice how her worry was not having glasses to read the box and its contents.

She quickly picked the most 'normal' box she could find and headed out to the cash register.

A guy was at the cash register.
But oddly enough, she says she wasn't embarrassed.
The guy rings up her stuff, without even looking at her in the eyes and when he is about to place the box in the bag it slips out of his hands and falls on the floor over the counter in front of him.

"You should've seen this kid's face!!" she squealed
"He scrambled like a maniac trying to get the box and shove it in the bag!! And I'm like, dude, chill they are only condoms, not a nuclear warhead....He was more embarrassed than I should have been!! I took my bag and left like totally chill."


Can I add, that I would have probably been mortified. I would have probably tried to sneak the box between some Raisinets or Peanut Butter M&M's...
G.P. you have guts and you deserve to be totally admired.

Now if only we can get the rest of the population to behave this way!!

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Thought of the day: Belts should be banned, unless we can see the crack in your ass...because Crack is Wack!