Burning down house...

Hey...this was what I was supposed to have for breakfast:

What is that u say? U can't see it very well?? Thank ur lucky stars u CAN'T.
In a previous life, before hitting the skillet, it was supposed to be bacon. I kinda forgot it was on the stove...kinda burned a wee bit...but I am really a good cook..really..


U know after the "Whoop Ass Edition of Friday's Four", me, my mom and my bro were talking about beatings..and oh...oh oh oh...my bro reminded me one that did not happen to me...but so deserves an honorable mention.

My bro was like 4 maybe, he was jumping on the bed, as usual. My mom was busy sewing and she kept repeating:

"Stop jumping on the bed. If you fall and hurt yourself, I will beat you right where it hurts" (Translation in Spanish, cuz it sounds way cooler: "Mira, dejate la brincaera en la cama..si te caes y te das un cantazo, encima de el te voy a meter una pela").

So what does bro do?..he keeps on jumping, of course...but somehow he slips and falls, banging his head on the corner of the nightstand.

My mom immediately gets up and starts wacking him on the head, he starts to run towards the baby spit up green carpet and my mom follows him, whacking him again and again..

"God dammit..I told u what was gonna happen..u fucking kids don't listen".

But then I see her hand, it was red.

"Mom", I say, "your hand is full of blood".

My brother had split open his head with the corner of the nightstand.

"OMG!!!!OMG!! we have to get to a hospital!" my mom..


To this day my brother is traumatized...he still says:

"Shit...I was bleeding my brains out and she just kept whacking me...fucking ridiculous".

Fucking Hilarious I would say.

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