I just got the Takara Foot Patches!!! Hurrah!! and I just ordered the Heavy Metal Screen Test for Miss C...I know I don't post much about how we are doing lately but these patches are for eliminating harmful metals and toxins in her lil' body like copper, mercury, etc. etc. Since she hasn't been doing so great in school lately I thought it was time to make a move. My boss was so psyched about this new natural way of detox that she offered to pay for the patches and got some for her and me as well...will post about changes as they occur. I am as excited as if I would have bought some Manolo's...I guess these patches will have to do for now...LOL.

After knowing that I was going to have a weekend, sans Miss C, who was sleeping over with her grandparents who are here from Orlando, I decided to do what any other single mother with no child around for the entire weekend would do...

Become a couch potato.

Watch not 1 but 4 movies, season 3 of Six Feet Under and manage to get dragged to a Baby Shower.


On my movie list:

Transamerica: loved it.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang: Okay. But Robert Downey Jr. was in it, and he rocks..

Running Scared: Not usually my type of movie, but interesting, none the less.

Syriana: Oil companies, Powertrips and George Clooney getting his fingernail ripped out with a plier. Nice.

I also might add that I happened to watch some of these flicks with "A". So good films with good company who doesn't happen to think you are weird because of your tastes in film: priceless. OMG I'm getting mushy. Fuck...We had a nice time, allright?? nuff said.


Now about the baby shower. I don't do baby showers, bridal showers, b-days, etc. Quite a shocker, huh? I am a hermit. I do not care. Just thinking about sharing a confined space with family members is good enough to make me wanna schedule a root canal just to bail.

"You are going to your god-daughter's baby shower, aren't you?" Sergeant Mom

"Um...not really, you know how Miss C can get". Moi

"Um..Miss C isn't here. So you have no excuse. For God's sake, she is your god daughter!! You will go and I will not hear another word".

Shit. Where are your children when you need them?

Flash forward to three hours later.

I am standing waaaay in the back, in my "Cute but Psycho, Things Even Out" T-shirt, praying I won't get picked to play any of the stupid mandatory lame ass games like:

1.Let's guess how huge her belly is. Like it isn't humilitating enough you look like a cow, now people are gonna try to guess how cow-ish you actually are.

2.Let us grown adults act like babies and try to drink beer out of a bottle and see who can drink it the fastest. Do I really need to explain why this is all wrong??

3.Let us hand the soon to be parents a fake baby who cries a lot and has its diaper really full of shit so we can judge their parental skills and make fun of them. Hey, let them be crappy parents in the comfort and privacy of their own home.

See why I do not wanna be a part of that.

At my baby shower, I prohibited games like this. Did they respect the decision of a cranky 9 month pregnant hormornal ragging woman?? No. They had games. How many did I play:

I think only one. The first one. I played no more. I just watched as everyone else made a fool out of themselves. Oh, Oh, and I played the questions game, where they ask people questions about my unborn child, and of course, I had to play to confirm the answers.

I got bored easily and I immediately started fidgeting with my phone, I needed a way out. I needed to bail. All these grown women talking about diaper-genies and formulas were driving me batty...people asking me when I was ready to have another was even more disturbing.

Another??!!! *Hint Hint* My first one, isn't even around!!!

Anyway, I had a legal excuse to get away, my cellphone charger was being held captive at "A's" house. He was asking for randsom (don't ask me how the charger got there to begin with).

So, as soon at they got out the Kareoke (I am so sure I spelled that wrong, bare with me), I knew that was my cue to go rescue my charger!!!

Hip Hip Hooray for technology!!!

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