And Too Much beer...

A perfect recipe for an interesting day.

*ring *ring...

It's 8:30am...


"'s me...Puertorican version of Stalker Stacy calling..I was wondering if you need help with the party stuff, I can always come over now"

"'s like 12 balloons and that's it. No more party stuff. I think I'll manage. Thanx."

"Um...what are u gonna do about the rain?".

"Can't do pretty much..don't ya think".

That's how my day started. Yes we had rain..Yes we did pow-wow indian tribe dances and we put a cup filled with water upside down on a plate to make the rain go away.

did it?

U bet ur fucking pants it did.

Empress showed up with her 'friend'...and her marvelous Power Puff Girls Umbrella, my neighbor stopped by with her daughter, Stalker M showed up.."X" was, dad, bro and some other random family members...

The pool of course was the children's haven..and Miss C couldn't be happier...She got tons of pony's...courtesy of people like, Empress, who likes to drive me mad.

But, the créme of the créme, the piece de resistance..was....drumroll please....

You guessed it:


Ooh la volunteered to be the Chef..with the Grill.

After asking twenty times where the aluminum foil was supposed to go and figuring out how u started the damn grill, our hotdogs and hamburgers were on their way...

But u see, dad forgot that u have to watch these dad decided he'd let them be and go watch some horse the hotdogs ended up like so:


We baptized them as the "Genocide Hotdogs" cuz we figured if in history there was ever a Genocide of Hotdogs, that's what they'd end up looking like.
Since no one wanted to eat them, my dad posted up a reward:

"I will pay anyone who will eat the Hotdog".

He ended up eating it.

We're not that stupid.

After some burnt hotdogs, hamburgers, chicken, ribs and other sweet stuff..we sat to enjoy the sunshine that had finally come out. My dad decided to join us. He was a bit tipsy..and when he's tipsy he'll keep on telling the same stories over and over and over again, with his stutter and looking utterly dazed & confused...

Hey, this is much better than Twister.

So he starts talking bout our dead Cat, who is buried in the yard, with tombstone and he rambles on and on and on...and then he decides to check up on the grill...I turn to the Empress and say..

"How much u wanna be that when he sits back down he'll start on the Cat subject again".

Dad sits down...

"Well, that cat was sure special...I mean once, I took her to the vet..."

Me and Empress exchange looks...

Hysterical laughter..

The rest of the afternoon he kept drinking beers, kept telling stories and we kept trying not to die of a massive laugh attack...

It even got to the point where we discussed his OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

"Is it true u suffer from OCD?" I ask with imaginary air mike in hand..


"How many times this weekend have u cleaned the driveway?".


I then turn to my brother:

"Do u fear for ur life when u take his pants and use them without permission?".

"Yes. I do".


Then we started on the subject of Napoleon Dynamite..and we went into a whole hour of talkin' like Mexicans...

I just kept repeating: "Orale Dog Your popsicles melting".

Until my mom told me to "fuck off".

Boy did we laugh...

And everyone was tipsy..except me..bwuaaaaahhhhhhh....

At the end of the day...we sang the glorious b-day song to Miss C and my Mom, who's b-day is tomorrow...and eveyone had a blast...

The best part: MY MISS MISS C WHO WAS DIAGNOSED AS AUTISTIC...knew it was HER b-day...let everyone sing her happy b-day and blew out her candles..and when u asked her who's b-day it was, she answered:

"Miss C's b-day!!!"

and How old r u Miss C?

"Four ::holding out her four lil' fingers::"!!!

Supercalafrajalistic INDEED!!!

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