Tsk Tsk Tsk...Boston lost AGAIN...so did the WHITE SOX..

But..alas, the Yankees kicked Cleveland's ass, AGAIN....

::sigh:: It's tough to be on a winning team....LOL..


Ok. Yesterday was meltdown day for Miss C...like a total Deafcon alert...U see her DAd decided to pick her up at day-care to spend some time with her, cuz he was in the area. Did I agree?...Hmmm...free time for me..no rushing to get home..and do some shopping?? U bet ur ass I agreed.

So I do my shopping, get home..and about half hour later..Miss C gets home...and she is raising hell..


The "X" had stopped to buy her ANOTHER PONY. Being that with almost 40 ponies, a girl can never have enough. ::rolls eyes::

But he did not give her the pony immediately..he gave it to her while he was driving and she needed someone to open the box for her...resulting in her raising hell. If u ask me...there are scenarios u can avoid. For one: ALL CHILDREN, NOT JUST MY AUTISTIC CHILD, want their toys immediately opened after receiving them. Second: Another #$%^&*( PONY!!!!!!!

Well he decides that since she was bad she wasn't gonna get the pony...so she' s crying...my dad and mom are outside trying to calm her down...Miss C is actually saying : Please give my the pony...But dad ain't budging...

I see he turns on his car and closes the door..

Now it's time for me to panic...Deafcon for Miss C's mommy...

"UR LEAVING???!!!"
"Yep..no pony for her..she's been bad".
He pauses to think...
"Well, let me go around the block to see what she does".


"OH LORD, GIVE HER THE PONY!!"::graveling almost on my knees::

He ended up giving her the pony..but it was totally too late..her night had been ruined...she was bitchy all night..and totally went haywire when we started singing Happy B-day to my mom...


Well, she didn't actually say "Dammit" but I thought it does good for emphasis...

Today she continued her reign as "child-who-is-pissed-off-at-entire-world". She was crying at school when I left cuz her teacher took away her 'pink dirty ass blanket'...::sigh:: I walked away with my heart torn cuz she was calling out my name..but I was OH-SO-FUCKING-GLAD, I wasn't gonna have to deal with yet another meltdown.

Let's speed this post up to this morning..

I was on my way to work and on the local radio station they announced:

"And now...a flashback...music flashback".

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

"This thing right here
Is lettin all the ladies know
What guys talk about
You know
The finer things in life
Check it out

I like it when the beat goes da na da na
Baby make your booty go da na da na
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na
That thong th thong thong thong
I like it when the beat goes da na da na
Baby make your booty go da na da na
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na
That thong th thong thong thong"

Sisqo's "Thong Song". Yes. There is a song about thongs.

Enough said...I was singing my ass off to work...Oh the memories...Oh the clubs...::sniff sniff:: those were the days...



And now, drumroll please..
La grandiose partie!!!!!!

Yesterday, in my bliss of not having to pick up Miss C and actually having time to get my shit together..I'm weaving through traffic, listening to my Dilated Peoples CD, I even decided to roll down my windows and enjoy the breeze, cuz it was cool...All was good, All was grand.

Then I notice this guy...in a Toyota Tercel...with his windows down as well...he looks kinda of out-of-it...he's just driving in traffic with some sort of uniform..and we're like side by side...keep in mind I'm in a mini-van, that allows me more vision on low cars like the one he is in...So I keep on driving..and when I glance once more..I notice one of his hands is on the steering wheel and one is like down by his side...I figure..well maybe the car is 'stick' ...uhem...it had something to do with "stick" allright or a word that rhymes with 'stick' but starts with the letter of yesterday's post...


My man was in his car with his windows down...fresh as a cucumber...'massaging his weiner'...


I didn't know if to laugh, be utterly disgusted or what...
I was in fucking shock..and believe me it takes a lot to shock me...
So I scramble to find a pen to jot down his license plate number, while trying not to lose him in traffic...I tried to call the authorities..but my fucking cell phone was like on the fritz...Fuck technology...

I mean, don't get me wrong. Masterbating (yes I said the "m" word, we are all adults, so chill the fuck out) is totally healty. There is nothing wrong with it as long as u do it on YOUR TIME, in PRIVATE. What if a mom passes by with her kids and they have to witness this crap. Sick shit man. Sick shit.

So end of story, I couldn't get through to anyone and he literally drove right next to me for a good 20 minutes...I rolled up my windows but before doing so, I was very tempted to tell him to put his weiner away. Alas, I did not. U don't know what a man with his weiner out in the view is capable of doing.


Re-telling this was mentally exhausting...

I am oficially taking a break from hotdogs; regular hot dogs, genocide hot dogs, or kosher...No weiners for me please...

Pass on the chicken.

Newer Post Older Post Home