This weekend, far none, was a very exhausting one..let me see if I can recap without causing massive embolias of boredome...

Friday: Long story short, I was set up on a blind date. I won't go into too many details (Sorry to dissapoint, but for reasons of sanity I just won't).
After a mortified pink rose exchange (he gave me a pink rose. word of advice: I do not like flowers, especially roses, nice thought but he should've done his homework), and a nice dinner we parted ways.

Bottom line: Real nice guy. Just not my kind of nice guy...Yeah..u guessed it, I'm gonna get philosophical...yeah..real bullshit coming ur way now..

As I was on my way home, I started wondering:

How much of our happiness are we willing to sacrifice for safety and security? or vice versa: How much of our security and sanity are we willing to sacrifice for Happiness? Is it possible to have both?

U see, let's take the blind date for example: Nice guy has all the makings of safety and security. He's very nice, polite, considerate, an adult, has a nice stable job, not bad looking, interesting, interested..etc. etc. But something didn't make me tick. No butterflies in the stomach. U know. It just wasn't there.

"A" on the other hand, is not as safe. (Yeah, "A", I said that, I know ur reading) He's unstable at times. You don't know if he's coming or going. He'll act one way for 10 mintues, and then he'll shift gears and ur left with a big question mark on ur head like: WTF??? And just when I'm at my wits end, he'll turn around and do something really nice to make me go : AWWWW...and make me reconsider the fact that, just like me, his stuff, is not all up there, all the time (pointing to head). I get the butterflies with him, he makes me smile and he's nice to Miss C. But I am scared shitless at the uncertainty I feel at times.

I know I am not alone on this sentiment, and that many have been through situations very similar. I also know many people who have sacrificed a bit of their happiness for security, safety and sanity reasons. Others have risked their safety for pure happiness. In both situations, there have been losers and winners. I've known those who are happy with their security and others who are miserable with their lack of happiness, while I have known others who do not regret the risks for happiness and others who risked it all and lost everything...U following me??!!

So this my friends is quite a predicament...

Is it possible to have both...I think u can..I just haven't found out the correct equation to use to accomplish this goal...

I'll keep ya posted..

Part 2 Preview: "A" visits my house and has a close encounter of the "X" kind...