Fuck shrimp...I am beyond the 'shrimp' color code...I am like on the 'lobster color chart'...

I kind of over did the sun today.

I am very very attractive...I am an un-official Humpaloompah...

I'll be reeling in the hunks pretty soon...


As previously stated Me and Empress went to the beach. After finding a semi suitable spot, where we had a bit of shade but also some sun, we sat down to read all the trashy gossip magazines we could find at our local drugstore. Real literature for a day at the beach.

After reading the reasons why "ice cream" is considered a valued food group, Empress shocked me, she said:

"Wanna go in the water"...

U see, She NEEEEEEEEVAAAAAHHHH!! gets in the water.
Cuz her hair will get ruined.
But since she had her hair up in a 'doobey' (noun: Puerto Rican style of hair, women usually wear when they have had their hair blowdried. U look like an Olympic swimmer with ur hair around ur hair in huge metallic pins, minus the cap)..she also had a doo-rag and a fedora. Yes. She is quite the gal.

So we decided to go inside the water. But there is one detail we forgot to take into consideration. I had told her the night before that I was going to buy some flip flops and she said "Why???!! Just wear ur sneakers to the beach, like me".

Hahahahahahahahaha...
As we approached the sand to go into the water...our feet scorched with the hellish temperature of the sand. I thought our feet were going to be severred off. As we finally decided to run and haul ass in the water, looking like two Baywatch wanna be's, with boobs a bouncin'...we sighed full of relief as the water hit our feet.

We were in the water for a while...laughing and makin' cracks...and we got back out..got more sun.....got back to the water...but this time we wore our sneakers to the shore..and at around 3pm when my back was so hot u could fry an egg on it...I called it quits...The sun was just too unbearable.

We did have a nice time. And our rides to and from the beach were great...Empress has a new toy, a Video IPOD and we were back on memory lane listening to songs from our days of hangin'...

We stopped by to have a quick lunch...strolling in with our shorts and bathing suit tops (by they way...I have to ad, my bathing suit was rockin'), provokin' the envy of the miserable ladies behind the counter, cuz they quickly made a sarcastic remark along the lines of "let's go to the beach..blah blah..chuckle chuckle"...To which the Empress simply remarked out loud, that they were just envious they had to work on weekends and smell of burritos all day long...

Na Na na na na....take that biaches!!!

I dropped her off...got home to Miss C and quickly headed for a cold shower...

My back aches and is very very red...I could probably double as a lobster if Disney were to make a new animation flick about underwater creatures...Pixar, I am available.

And on top of all that, Miss C finds it very convenient to play "horsey". Today of all days.

Good thing...it's a holiday weekend..and I plan to stay at home and not wear a bra...sit my ass down with the A/C and drink Pink Lemonade to aliviate my pain...

What's up with ur Memorial Day weekend??!!

PS...I recently read an article on some women from the Marines that died in a Car Bombing in Iraq and saw the program : Bagdad ER on HBO...

This Memorial Day, I salute all those women and men, overseas, that dedicate their lives, and give us the freedom we have to sit and blog and spend this weekend with our families. I do not agree with this war, but nevertheless, my heart goes out to those who have made the ultimate sacrifice.