I never claimed to be your saviour
I said I had a dirty mouth
Stop analyzing my behaviour
If you're too dumb to work it out
I've got to keep myself together
You know I hate to disappoint
A masochistic lamb to slaughter
Maybe you miss the point?

-Dumb By Garbage

Seems like the theme in all my conversations with gal pals this week, is RELATIONSHIPS, MEN, AND ::SHIVER:: LOVE/LIKE...

I've been really catchin' up on my gossping this week with The Empress and some other gals. Me and The Empress go wa-a-a-a-y back so we basically are on the same wavelength. We usually talk 'bullshit' but seems like for the past weeks, we've been on the 'relationship' theme. I've also noticed the coincidence that my conversations with other 'gals' have been on that too.

We usually tear apart men, dissect them, overanalyze them and totally trash em'. You know what I'm talkin' bout. The 'men are assholes that can never be fixed and all of them are equally the same' trashtalk. But seldom do we point out that we women, are of a odd breed as well. Obviously men and women were built differently, we think differently, our cpu's are totally wired in opposite directions. But yet, we crave companionship, we crave to be in relationships, whether we'd like to admit it or not.

Now, to the point I am getting. Women, and I don't mean to offend anyone, after all I am a very liberal type gal, (who deep down inside, wants the nice fam, the dog and the house), we don't usually know what we want, especially when it looks like we're gonna get it.

Someone asked me once: Why do women fall for asshole/bad boy type men?

My answer: I have no idea. Well really I do, but I'm just not gonna get into those deep waters today.

We usually want the nice, polite, bring home to mom guys. We want the guys, who'll remember to bring the ice cream, who'll watch movies with us, who'll compliment us when we're in our sweats. Alas, we never wind up with this guy, and when we do wind up with a generic proto-type, we make a quick get away, like if they guy was a lepper.

What gives?

For example, I have been in relationships where after a few weeks all is well,but deep down inside u have no fuckin' clue as to what is going on in his mind. It's like playing scrabble with Q's, X's and Z's and no vowels. Totally impossible. Cuz women, are nosy,we want emotion, we wanna know what the hell is up, we wanna pick ur brains, we wanna hear nice things, even though we say outloud we don't. Come on, who are we trying to fool?. So, relationships with men type 'walls' literally drive us, up one.

Then we have the 'Mr.Perfect, but there has got to be a flaw somewhere' relationship.
He's the type that is too good to be true. The guy that holds doors, buys flowers, pays for everything,shows emotions, but alas, is the the guy you whisper to your friends about on the phone and say:

"he's so good, I'm paranoid"
"well, he's got to have some flaw..." they so supportively answer.

WHY THE HELL CAN'T HE BE PERFECT. WHY DO WE HAVE TO BE SO PARANOID.???

Eventually we break this guy's heart and send him off, cuz u're SURE he's hiding some secret.

And last but not least you have the mixed breed. This is the type of guy you dream of, you absolutely like and u think have a really strong chance of building something solid with. It's the guy that gives u goosebumps and makes u smile like an idiot one day, and then the next day it's like ur listening to mass in Arabic. You have no clue. He's always giving out mixed signals. Or is he? He's so nice and charming one day and then the next day it's like he's living a double life as an Ice Cube. So now , once again, dissapointment comes and we don't know where we stand with this guy, after a week of dating...lol....

A WEEK??!!!

See, we women crave attention, love, affection, blah blah...when we get it, we run and hide, and when after a week we don't get it we go hysterical.

We can't blame it all on the guys.

I think deep down inside we are all just masochistic lambs waiting for our pastor one day, and then wanting to go to the slaughter house the next. We wanna play on both sides of the field. We wanna be strong and independent, but we wanna be dependent and weak once in a while.

Relationships are tedious and trying and difficult. If it were easy it would not be so gratifying at the end, and wouldn't be worth our hassle. But today this one is for the guys: We women are the Shit...I know.
We can have the best of both worlds, but our paranoia gets the best of us...Baaahh!!