Before we get into the post....I have not posted about Baseball (Empress I know you hate it...but here it goes)..

We lost last night...We were winning...but Toronto later kicked our ass...Welles hit a homer to end the tie....Christ..!! It's a four game series so let's see...

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You knew this one was coming, sooner or later. The Ultimate Cheap Ass Bastard slamming Edition.

Come on...don't give me that look...!!
I know, you know, that you've had, at some point, some Cheap Ass Bastard, C.A.B. (for short) as a boyfriend/girlfriend. Hell if you're fortunate, you might have had a few. I say fortunate, because they make for endless hours of blogging and storytelling on a gal's night out.

I think I have been unfortunate and I've only had one. But this guy, this guy was such a C.A.B., he's probably in like the C.A.B. Hall of Fame, or member of the Honorary C.A.B. Club.

I met this guy, during my depression era. I had just broken up with my long-term boyfriend, for good. I was heart-broken. So I did what any gal would do, go clubbing, get drunk and dance my lil' heart away. One night, Empress and a friend of ours, "Energizer" introduced me to this guy. He seemed nice. Not too shabby, dressed cute, had a job, had an education, was from New Yawk. So, for a rebound relationship, it seemed like a cool move.

Me and my 'cool moves'.
Here's my Friday's Four: C.A.B. Edition

1. On one of my first dates with him, he bought a beer for us to "share".
This was wrong on so many levels.
A. Do I look like I drink Beer???
B. Even if I did, do I look like I wanna share one with you? I want my own stash.

2. He invited me to the club we met at, I had to pick him up, and at the entrance I noticed he only pulled out a $10.00 and he looks at me and goes:

"I only have to pay my way"
OH NO HE DIDN'T.
Needless to say, he spent much of his time, solo at the bar.

3. On my way to his house to visit, he asked me if I could stop at a local place and get a dessert pie. I bought it. Stayed at the house for a while, but when I was about to leave with the pie I paid for, he told me : "Oh, you can take a slice if ya want".
If I want??!! Ya' think? I paid for this shit. R U shitting me?


4. And Last, but definitely not the least, the "Pieze de Resistance". On X-mas, I had spent some of my salary in getting him this kick ass game he wanted, I had it wrapped up real nice, and got him some candy and shit...total amount spent: around 80 bucks...He calls on X-mas Eve that he wants to come over quickly because he wants to give me, my gift.So he shows up. I give him my present and he's all amazed and happy. So he hands me his. He hands me this like...errr...::scratches head in search for good description::...rectangular shaped thing, wrapped up in this wrinkled ass, stale-looking-ghost-from-x-mas-past-paper. He's still marveling on his gift but says:

"Sorry bout' the paper, it's recycled"
Ok. Now I am getting worried.

So when I tear the paper off, I see that it's a stack of about 6 CD's. I'm like:
"Wow!! Music..I love music"
But then I notice, that the CD's don't have any wrapping on them, the jewel cases are scratched and the titles are really old:

1. Luther Vandross...
2. Bodyguard Soundtrack
3. Brandy's first Album
4. Waiting to Exhale Soundtrack
5. I have no idea
6. Same as 5

We're talking about 3 years old or more CD's...

His take:

"Oh, I hope you like them, they were lying around in my house and since I don't listen to them anymore, I thought you'd might like them".

I solemnly swear this is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God.

As you might have figured out, we broke up shortly afterwards.

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**Update**
Empress just called, she is inviting me to go on Sunday, to Club Lazer's (Monday is a Holiday) to go see Uncle Luke, founder of 2 Live Crew...

I'll see if I'm up for that challenge..I'll keep ya posted!!

On another invitation note: "A" has invited Me, Empress and whatever other guests to my company's HellHouse...errr..I mean Guesthouse for next weekend. He'll be paying. We'll see how that goes...cuz ya' know how my last trip to that place went...

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Thought for the weekend: If he's sipping Corona...beware...be-very-ware...