Still without Van. Said cousin who was going to help is MIA. Go figure.

Rain: We are having some type of Rain Event...it will be raining all weekend. Sweet.

Witchdoctor: Yeah, This one is a Doozy.

****

Let's make a long story short for the benefit of my dear readers:

Got in my office at 8:30 am (I had my boss' Mercedes SUV for the past day on loan). Boss is talkin' bout how fucked up my luck has been. She tells me I should go to her 'witchdoctor' and get my cards read. She says she will pay for everything.

Ok. Go get my cards read, for free, while the company clock is ticking...fair enough. Let's make this clear, I have never been to any of these places. I had no idea what to expect. And of course, I am completely skeptical. I believe in anything your mind can imagine, and I also doubt everything I can experience.

So I get there and I am greeted by this lil' ol' lady, who gave me this nice vibe. So we go to her 'work area' and she immediately begins her stuff. The first few thigns she told me were just plain silly. My comments are in italics:

1. You are in the process of buying an apartment....
Um..No...
She tells me: Well you will be soon

2. Your brother, younger brother, will leave his job soon...why?
I could give a shit about my brother...I came here for me...

3. She tells me I am going to move, because I have conflicts with some older people.
My parents perhaps?

And so she goes on talking bout how I have a job with lots of responsabilities (but who doesn't), that in the future I will work with many different races (if I move to the states that is a huge probability), and so forth.

Nothing too convincing.

Then she deals another set of cards.

"I see a little girl. She is about 3. What illness does she have? She is sick".

ok. now we are getting somewhere.

She talks about that for a while, then talks about other personal stuff, which I will leave personal, but will add, she was right on point. So by this time, I am really starting to giggle nervously.

She asks me if I am pregnant. If I am pregnant?? Fucking no way! That is not even a possibility. She then advices me to take care of myself, because she sees a boy in my life and me getting remarried.

::shitting bricks::

She tells me she sees a trip. A trip that will bring me lots of prosperity. A trip that will allow me to prosper and be happy.

Can it be my move?

But then it gets better.

She then deals some more cards and her face gets pale and she gasps...

::knees banging::

"What?" I say...

"You have been having trouble lately. You have invested lots of money in a project that doesn't seem to be improving".

No shit.

She goes on:

"Oh my...someone doesn't like you. Someone is determined to make you unhappy. Someone has cursed you. A very powerful curse. This person doesn't want you to be happy. This person wants you to be damned."

Fuck.

She looks at me and adds: "I was gonna suggest we do something simple with you, but this that they have done to you, is very powerful. We have to do a spiritual cleansing" and she goes on to explain to me what I must do.

I leave with absolutely no idea what to think. Can this be true? This lady said so many things to me, I was shocked. How can someone know that many personal details of your life???

So I drive back to the office. Boss wants to know the details. She decides to call another 'doc' of hers.

Ok. Now this is beginning to freak me out.

Doc is on the phone. Asks my zodiac sign, my name...blah blah. He does a simple thing over the phone. His take:

"Someone has done something powerful to block her happiness. Someone truly wants her to be miserable. I must see her immediately. Tell her she must believe in God. Her faith is very poor. She must believe in God".

::click::

I don't know what the fuck any of this means. But you can rest assured that, and I quote from Monsters Inc. :

"...Now is the time to PANIC!!".