"I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love. And I don't think that love is here in this expensive suite in this lovely hotel in Paris."

Carrie: Quoted from "An American Girl in Paris Part Deux", Sex and the City Episode

Yeah yeah...blah blah me...heart-of-stone-no-feelings-as-warm-as-a-penguin-taking-an-ice-bath, wants that.

But then again...who doesn't?

Even if we say we don't want commitment...that we want our freedom, that we want our space, deep down inside, very deep down inside...or right on the surface we want love, real love.

The type of love that can't be bought with random gestures, once in a blue moon, or once in a week. The type of love where you wanna talk to this person every day and tell them how your day went and vice-versa. The type that makes you wanna be a better person in hopes of creating a better relationship. It is the type of love you can envision yourself in, even beyond today, tomorrow or next year. The type you wanna make plans with, for the day, weekend, or afternoon. The type you don't have to guess where your place is, because the other person always lets you know where it is.

I am not asking for a written contract that gives me a title. Because at the end of the day, titles are bullshit and you can wipe your ass off of them. I am asking for commitment. I am asking for something I don't have to guess at. Something where I am not constantly told I must have patience to receive, like a child on some trip whose parents promise them a 'surprise' if they are good. And I don't mean it, as in meeting someone and instantly hooking up. I mean it, as in a relationship that has been in development for a while, but seems to be taking some sick loophole and repeating itself over and over, as if not to go foward, and only take you on an eternal merry-go-round-of a detour. I don't wanna be in a loophole forever. Foward is the only way to go. Backwards or constant repetition is not in my vocab.

I am asking for what every human being on this planet, admit it or not, wants.
I am asking to feel special and not like some part-time-once-loved-pet that you ocassionally remember to feed and take for stroll.

In the ever-so-real words of fictional character, Carrie Bradshaw, I want the "inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love", not the "oh-hey-i-forgot-you-were-there-but-i'll-call-ya-when-i-don't-have-anything-
else-love".

So, I guess I am Guilty as Charged. And deep down inside, or just right on the surface, I am a hopeless romantic, waiting for the prince to show up in a kick ass SUV (we need the room for the kid..don't ya think?).