Do you my readers by any chance know Murphy?

As in Murphy's Muthafuckin' Law??!!

Yeah? No? Well I do.
And I want him dead.
Hell, this disasterous weekend might even get 2 posts to avoide possible suicide attempts on behalf of my readers.

So where to begin?

There's a saying: "It's not the same to call the devil than to see him actually come".

Mickey D's. Lunch. Almost ready to go.
My dumb ass:

"Hey Miss C, let me use your Magic Eight Ball (from the Pirates of the Caribbean Happy Meal) to ask a question...Will our weekend be nice?" (For those of you not familiar with the Magic Eight Ball, it's a ball that has liquid in it, you ask it a Yes or No answer question and shake it, then read the answer that comes up on the screen)

Answer: The seas look rough.

Ok. Not the answer I wanted, but then again, how the fuck is a Happy Meal toy gonna predict my weekend?? Murphy's Law: anything that can go wrong, will, is a crock.

But the joke, was soooo gonna be on me.

So we're off. 35 minutes into our trip, grasshopper, aka mini van, decides to fall apart. You know, the same van that fell apart last week. The same van that got 1 grand invested in it. Yeah, that bitch. She started gushing out the powersteering liquid, started smoking and making all sorts of near death noises. We had to pull over near the toll, get out shit together and make the biggest decision ever: Turn around.

Turn around. Take my van back. Find someone who could give us a lift to the alternate car. Unload and reload two times and avoid lighting myself on fire. That was our mission. 3 hours, lots of whining, silence and bad music later, we arrived at our destination. It was 10pm. We had left my house at 2pm.

The place was sweet. I mean ultra modern-chic-fancy-classy sweet. The kind of place where you'd like to live in. Very private, quiet. Nice pool. Comfy Beds. But oh, but, nothing can ever be picture perfect. We soon discovered that the fridge was kinda not working too well. But, Fuck it. We'd buy ice. We'd find an alternative. Nothing was gonna ruin our trip anymore. Our first night we were so tired, we unpacked, drank a bottle of wine, while watching TV on the 13 inch screen (yeah, 13 inch) and went to bed.

Next morning we decide to go to the beach which is nearby. We soaked up some rays, Miss C's lifevest thingy wasn't really a good deal. If her life depended on it, we'd be in trouble. But nonetheless, the beach was nice. We decide to go back and take a dip in the pool. Everything was nice until someone got an electrical shock, due to a busted bulb in the pool. Then a rainstorm started brewing and it started to drizzle and thunder. Then as we decided to take some showers, the power went out and it started to pour.

Murphy's one busy guy.

No. I am not making this up. We were fucked. We decided that maybe it was a good idea to shower and go out to eat. As we prepared the power came back on, but as we left, the power went back out.

Stuck in the middle of nowhere with no electricity, a 13 inch TV and a toddler. Pure Hell.