In honor of the upcoming Elections, where Congress is at stake...I will dedicate this Friday's Four to the things I would do, if I actually ran for President and won...(none of which I see actually happening...)

First of all if I were to be President/Governor..yada yada yada, obviously there would be more than four things I'd do, but let's just get warmed up a bit, shall we:

1. If you are eligible for Social Security and/or have "Poligrip" or "Denture glue" on your shopping list, you have gots to go!!!

Why the fuck are you still working? In Politiks?? At all???

We need new, fresh, blood...we need new people, with new points of view. We need these 'old' people (and I mean no disrespect), to leave these seats and these jobs, not only political jobs, to people who have spent years in college, getting educated and have new visions to continue with progress. I would make a law, obligating people to retire at a certain age. Do you have any idea how many young professionals are unemployed??

2. If you commit a crime against a child, any child, any crime...it should be punished with torture. Fuck life in Prison, fuck death penalties. Torture. Torture so sick, so perverse, so upsetting, that they will want to wish death upon themselves and not be able to do so. In fact...now that I think of it, any crime should be punished more severely.

What?? You stole something?? With what hand?? Ok. Dude chop his left hand off. What?? You don't want your hand chopped off?? Bitch, you shouldn't have stole then.

What? You raped a child / woman/ person? With what? Ok. Dude go chop off his..eehhh...you get the picture!!

3. I would actually help the fucking middle class, that actually pays for all the shit in this country. I don't know how it works in the states, but the middle class here in Puerto Rico is fucked. We are not eligble for any government help, because the government thinks we are rich. But then you see the 'po' people riding in brand new cars with rims, rocking the ice, satellite tv, nails done, hair blow dried, shopping at Plaza las Americas (our biggest and most 'in' mall)...

WTF??? Of course they can afford that. These people don't pay rent, utilities, nothing!!!!

While middle class is fucked paying for everything!!

4. I would remove all 'middle people'. I need no person to write up MY speeches, my public statements. I need NO ONE to tell me what to say, when to smile, when to hush up and when to pee. We never fully get what the person is about with all these people changing and transforming everything you do. All we get fed is a bunch of shit written by other people.

And as a Bonus: I would ban the 'stuffy wardrobe'. I mean, I am not going out to address the nation in my "Bling Bling"-Icey-jeans-and-baseball-cap, but don't ya' think that the tie is a bit too tight...that sometimes they hate what they have to wear, that sometimes they'd like to address the nation in their BVD's!!!

Lord knows I would...

But on a serious note, there are many-of-things I'd like to change if I were in charge, and it costs nothing to dream...

What would you like to do if in charge???