There was a mosquito on my mother's inner thigh last night, re-e-e-a-a-lly close to her 'whatitsface', so I did what any loving-caring-sick-daughter-of-a-mother-sucker would do:
I slapped the shit out of it.
My mother's take:
"What the fuck did you do that for??"
"You had a mosquito sucking on you, close to your you-know-what"
"Well I'd rather take my chances of having the mosquito sucking my you-know-what off dry than it not working ever again!"
Needless to say I cried from all the laughter.
But deep down inside I was hurt. What an unappreciative woman.